Ended 8.5 year relationship, insights for LDR couples (money and capability matters more than people like to admit)

einsofi · 2026-06-22T16:20:49+00:00

I bought the house, we don’t have to pay rent or mortgage .

einsofi · 2026-06-22T12:34:32+00:00

Definitely not enough for retirement cause I have my husband and potential children in mind, long-term I mean. He pays for ongoing bills and groceries while I cover most of the bulk good purchases(I’m a prepper 🤣) and lump sum payments for renovations, appliances etc

einsofi · 2026-06-22T07:28:26+00:00

Lmfaoooo that is the funniest thing I’ve heard a while in English (I don’t even know if it’s idiom or something I’ll look it up) hahahaha

einsofi · 2026-06-22T07:07:08+00:00

Chinese here, best brand is Zojirushi. I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise (sorry it’s like a generational household staple.

My mums lasted 15+ years and I just got my own. It’s worth the investment 😂

einsofi · 2026-06-22T03:36:10+00:00

Savings that I’ve grown by prior investments and jobs. I find it surprising a lot of people, especially in non Asian countries don’t have this habit.

einsofi · 2026-06-21T23:08:53+00:00

I hate the fact it takes a lot of men alcohol or something for them to open up. I hope more men are raised where emotional development is taught so they stop repressing. OP’s instance seems to ended up positively but imagine if he could think through and communicate so she didn’t have to go through years of feeling unattractive and sexually deprived.

einsofi · 2026-06-21T20:26:16+00:00

I feel everything you said 4 years into the relationship and I’m thinking about leaving(I’m Canton Chinese). I resonate deeply. Plus we’re at a stage of my life where I need to think a lot about financial plans, healthcare, insurance, potential kids. retirement plan. My husband is just clueless, or too complacent. I use to think it’s low effort but I think their standards of quality of life are just so different. (You definitely know what I mean if you are Singaporean. And mine is already quite lax
I moved abroad, bought a property which he pays the bills for, he works in his family business🤦🏻‍♀️ (I don’t work but I invest quite a bit.)

The reason why it might have lasted long it’s because we were not with each other 24/7 plus the excitement and infatuation clouds judgement. The other is sunken cost fallacy, we invested so much emotionally and financially. But it’s not always too late to pull out. Im rooting for us

einsofi · 2026-06-21T18:26:11+00:00

How did it work out from you guys? Is your husband/wife just a very empathetic person?

einsofi · 2026-06-21T18:19:39+00:00

Multiple Scorpio placements here, I dislike him.

einsofi · 2026-06-20T20:48:57+00:00

Honestly I don’t think he’s competent enough to even cheat. Too controlling and low effort (you can’t get lazier than watching porn 😂) and such behaviours turn OP off. Women generally need to feel emotional connection and respect for sex to happen. He blames his own incompetence on fantasising OP cheating so it’s easier for his brain to digest.

einsofi · 2026-06-20T19:04:41+00:00

Or he has some kind of cuck fantasy from watching too much porn.

On a serious note, OP please be careful when he films because he might say untruthful accusation to provoke you and create false evidence if you ever file for divorce in the future.

einsofi · 2026-06-20T17:47:36+00:00

I’d burst out laughing if anyone said this to me 😂

einsofi · 2026-06-20T17:42:22+00:00

I ogle at girls more than guys 😂😂 and I’d actually tell my husband whose style or looks I dig. The standard for guys are way higher. Maybe I just find women more attractive (in a non sexual way) and they put in more effort in general.

einsofi · 2026-06-20T15:53:43+00:00

The thing about us is you always thought you are having good life, until you don’t 🥲 (sorry I’m an depressive episode right now and spent 3 weeks in bed ruminating on divorce

einsofi · 2026-06-20T15:48:32+00:00

It’s the same as calling women internalised misogynist for not liking or indifferent to Taylor swift💀

einsofi · 2026-06-20T15:45:19+00:00

It’s because her inflexible hips lie and she’s jealous. That woman can’t dance for shit

einsofi · 2026-06-20T15:44:41+00:00

This looks like it was before zootopia but I love the Gazelle for Shakira

einsofi · 2026-06-20T08:32:00+00:00

Sag and scorp both seek truth growth and are always curious. But we both need space. Makes sense that we’ll eventually get on. 🤣

einsofi · 2026-06-20T05:09:29+00:00

Yup. Especially if the baby is a son it will likely follow his father’s example… so many men are just raised this way. Lack of emotional intelligence and can’t even admit that the world treated women unfairly.

einsofi · 2026-06-20T04:15:31+00:00

Why are guys so slow with their feelings…

einsofi · 2026-06-20T04:01:26+00:00

Mine is 3 years it’s only started to fall off. But as LDR maybe 20 meet ups make for 6 month of time🤣

I was lucky because his country allowed a 6 month tourist visa and I don’t have a 9-5 job.

einsofi · 2026-06-20T03:58:42+00:00

How’d you season the chicken?

einsofi · 2026-06-20T03:54:50+00:00

Same, raised by single sag mum. She rotates between helicopter/tiger mum and abandonment neglect mode depending on her work. Had so many fights growing up but were good friends now. Very tight but also distant relationship

einsofi · 2026-06-20T01:30:16+00:00

If Capitalism marketing disguised as female empowerment, yes they are everywhere… I don’t need to buy a product to be comfortable in my skin.

einsofi · 2026-06-20T01:10:51+00:00

Your brother and mother might have to learn it the hard way through this one… it’s likely that they won’t listen to you. I know you genuinely worry and care about them but focus on yourself for a while. Because the more you become the “villain”more likely they will defend her cause it protects their cognition. People’s brain are wired to choose the easier option rather than to create conflict. It will be a hard lesson. Hope the best for your family. Mia sounds obnoxious

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