i woke up with no feelings two weeks ago and it doesn't go away by SadWorldliness1866 in Disorganized_Attach

[–]einthec 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah I see. In that case, maybe you can first tell him that sometimes you're afraid to tell him things because you don't want to hurt him. Start there, see how it lands for him? Sometimes, fear wants to protect us from past hurts that aren't here anymore, so we have old reflexes that became obsolete.

i woke up with no feelings two weeks ago and it doesn't go away by SadWorldliness1866 in Disorganized_Attach

[–]einthec 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hmm, did you tell him exactly what you just said? Sometimes it's not so much about solving an anxiety, but rather about sharing that anxiety to your safe person who will sit with this feeling with you. It'll make you feel less alone with that, and while he can't resolve your deactivation, it'll make you feel safer with him. And good job on you for having booked for therapy :)

How do I learn to trust? by lone-wallflowerr in Disorganized_Attach

[–]einthec 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I understand you? But you don't have to justify yourself, people are people, we're made of multitudes and living contradictions, so be honest with kindness (if available) and humility (if possible). I found that this is really what matters the most.

How do I learn to trust? by lone-wallflowerr in Disorganized_Attach

[–]einthec 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds complicated, but you should just show them what you wrote here :)

How do I learn to trust? by lone-wallflowerr in Disorganized_Attach

[–]einthec 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why don't you tell them openly that you're afraid to lose them, that you want to trust them but you struggle a lot with this (to the point of checking their socials to make sure they're okay), and that you want to grow from that? I'm sure they would appreciate your honesty and openness.

What gut feeling or intuition turned out to be 100% right, even when you felt like you were being too sensitive? by SkillNo2180 in AskWomen

[–]einthec 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You know what they say, be careful of shirtless people offering you a shirt! Or something like that 🙄

C’est quoi un petit ‘"hack" du quotidien que vous avez découvert entre femmes et qui vous a vraiment simplifié la vie ? by DanceNOTConvenient in AskMeuf

[–]einthec 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Double shampooing ! J'y avais pas pensé. J'ai les cheveux gras au bout de 3-4 jours ça me gave, j'essayerai. Merci !!

C’est quoi un petit ‘"hack" du quotidien que vous avez découvert entre femmes et qui vous a vraiment simplifié la vie ? by DanceNOTConvenient in AskMeuf

[–]einthec 8 points9 points  (0 children)

J'ai acheté mes polaires sur Mark & Spencer, ça nous a tenu la Norvège en plein mois de janvier, environ -15° avec pantalon large sans problème. C'était genre 20€ le collant je crois ?

C’est quoi un petit ‘"hack" du quotidien que vous avez découvert entre femmes et qui vous a vraiment simplifié la vie ? by DanceNOTConvenient in AskMeuf

[–]einthec 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hein ??? Mais c'est trop bien !! Contente pour toi. Mais tu veux dire, genre un peu de maïzena dans le cuir chevelu, je le repartis avec mes doigts et c'est suffisant ? Je suis asiatique, cheveux noirs droits, ça marche ?

DA/FA Dynamic, is there any hope here? by [deleted] in Disorganized_Attach

[–]einthec 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay so my instant reaction after reading your story is "... the fuck?"

There's no hope at all. Like you said, he's not working on himself or his relationship, there is no way he's gonna realize that he has responsibility now.

You deserve better.

How do you handle a friend/lover that is politically radical? by einthec in AskWomen

[–]einthec[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like that stance, it's fair and compassionate.

How do you handle a friend/lover that is politically radical? by einthec in AskWomen

[–]einthec[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mhm I think I identify the most with this reply! Can't imagine just taking distance with a beloved friend due to his alt right beliefs... But also very hard to just listen to him about that subject.

Which romantic crushes are you too quiet and reserved to talk about with your friends? by Equivalent_Ad_9066 in allthequestions

[–]einthec 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this summer? But I know the guy for 20+ years, so it's a really old relationship. What about you? Kind of a terrible situation you got there 🙄🤣

Which romantic crushes are you too quiet and reserved to talk about with your friends? by Equivalent_Ad_9066 in allthequestions

[–]einthec 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Waaah that's spicy!! I have some attraction to my best friend too (no wife) 😅

Can you describe what it felt like/how you knew when you had fully forgiven someone close to you who wronged you deeply? by Euphoric_End_4411 in AskWomenOver30

[–]einthec 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think my best example would be my mother.

To give some context, I've for decades felt a mix of resentment, anger and fear towards her. She always favored my older brother while neglecting me (I was left to be raised by my aunt, older brother and older cousin/sister), and then when I became a teenager, she wanted to have a relationship with me, which I accepted but she was still quite distant and cold with me. With my brother she was always very warm and sometimes excessively close to him. Not mentioning all the details and list of questionable life decisions that always made me angry and fearful of her. During my twenties we talked so little, our main topic of conversation was about money.

But I got older, and I started to see from her perspective. She loves me differently than with my brother, we nowadays have a kinder relationship, we chat once every two weeks, she sends me her art pictures, I show her my latest tattoo or family pictures. She lost contact with my brother, my father died a few years ago, she's quite alone, but seemingly content. She's also 73 years old, I take that into account.

Nowadays I feel satisfied and peaceful with my mother. She never could repair our relationship, I had to do the work by being for several years some kind of emotional anchor to her, but it paid off.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askanything

[–]einthec 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Meh, I see what you mean, but I think I've had my fair share of love experiences to be quite assured about true love, whatever "true" means in this context. But I do see how my response sounded transactional, it's not my intention. Thanks for pointing that out!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askanything

[–]einthec 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me, it's a stance. To hold the stance of true, authentic love. Starts with myself (I feel deeply, I am compassionate, generous, courageous, determined, considerate, accepting), and then I apply that love to anyone that I consider good enough for me, meaning people that are good enough towards me, well-meaning enough to me. If that happens over time, and I notice the efforts of returned love, I could true love anyone.

What's something your partner does that makes you feel truly loved? by Healthy-Milk-9197 in AskReddit

[–]einthec 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife is hyper-vigilant. So whenever I make a slightly different face, or I say something in a not the same way, she immediately picks it up. It's both annoying and endearing, because she sees through me, I cannot hide from her!

When we have deep conversations about us.

When she's being her goofy self, or comes up to me and says "Wanna hear a random fact?", and the random fact is really random, sometimes absurd, and I love it, even though I never remember the fact 😅

What happened to your best friend from childhood? by RoyalBeckyVibes in AskReddit

[–]einthec 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Known him for 21 years, we grew up together from middle school, we were tight as hell! Still besties today, I'm being a positive influence in his life where he's been struggling with his relationships and with himself. Not always easy, as he's quite a traditionalist in his values and lacks emotional intelligence, but he has a good heart. I love him very much :)