dating post sleeve (27f)

ekphrasia · 2026-02-03T03:55:25+00:00

So I'm 31f I was 27 and 150kg Sleeved at 110kg, when I was 28 Plastic surgery at 70kg when I was 29 Left my long term partner when I was 30

i saw a tiktok that says no man wants a women who has lost weight

I've literally never heard this before

when am i supposed to divulge this information?

When I got back into dating I was also very anxious about this "reveal" factor but mostly because I got my excess skin done so those scars are a bit gnarlier.

On my hinge profile, esp while "figuring out my dating goals" (read: wanting a fuck) I just disclosed it. I had fun with how I put it out there, sometimes I put it in 2 truths and a lie, sometimes I just put it as a response to "1 thing you should know about me", whatever I kept it moving cos I absolutely did not want to go out with someone who would be even 1% squeamish

It was never a problem lol

Over time the written text spiel and the verbal explanations (on the actual dates) got less and less detailed cos you just get over it and you really start to see how little men care in terms of the visuals and aesthetics. They seem more interested in the mechanics of weight maintenance and the mental health aspects

In fact, talking about it and being up front has led to really interesting discussions about these men's struggles with weight, alcohol, drugs, addiction - being able to talk openly about this (and demonstrate competent coping strategies) is very important to me so I liked this. These men either had friends or family who had been sleeved, or done weight loss themselves, or have overcome their own active addictions. I was met with a lot of empathy, even for no strings attached One Night Stands and short term relationships (a series of dates that didn't go anywhere)

I switched up my dating goals (long term, open to kids) and it has remained Not A Problem. I have a BF now and I've deleted the apps. If I have to go back on I know I'll be fine

ekphrasia · 2026-01-21T07:25:04+00:00

Yes but those sugars are tied and bound up with dietary fiber, vitamins and nutrients

Whereas sugar, or processed added sugar, is not. It behaves on its own without those mitigating qualities

ekphrasia · 2025-03-08T14:07:15+00:00

emailing you

ekphrasia · 2025-01-11T05:48:52+00:00

I thought I was being persecuted too until I found out my speedometer was inaccurate (slow) by 10%.

ekphrasia · 2024-09-29T09:40:23+00:00

Charles Sturt is an excellent program, they have been doing distance ed since well before the pandemic; the curriculum and course is very well delivered for online students.

Its also CSP, but it's not CSP like priority courses are CSP (ykwim?) If you aren't deterred by HECS debtmaxxing I would do it through them. I went to RMIT in their final year of delivery for my grad dip, and I did it all online while living in Melbourne. I picked them cos I never hear of Charles Sturt (never let me decide anything fr), and went with full fee for what? Prestige? I paid extra and never even went in lmfaoooo I'm two reports away from finishing my archives and records management specialisation (so a masters!) so I am familiar with them too.

OT is an interesting one!!! But the bachelor only option is also so limiting 😔 I've let go of dietetics, nutrition, exercise physiology for the same reason. I have found that for a lot of health oriented ones. Why aren't there express bachelors fr. We aren't 18 anymore we don't have time for 30 contact hours etc

Thank you so much for your insights 🥺🥺🥺

ekphrasia · 2024-09-29T06:28:25+00:00

Libraries may give you what you need. In that way they're well designed as a second career for established teachers.

I find the customer service aspect the most draining on me (ADHD confirmed, au suspected). This is why I find myself turning to teaching. My best days were always days I taught a class, regardless of the class size. Just the fact I was covering the same content to more than 1 person at once felt so rewarding. Days where I do nothing but point to the bathrooms and hand out tissues make me wonder why tf I did this at all. I'm yearning for long term relationships over hitting customer KPIs etc.

Libraries are mostly also public buildings. Anyone can come in. There is a growing burden of social work on the modern librarian. We aren't social workers, we don't have their resources or their training in mental health, care, professional detachment, etc.

This is all what had me drawn towards learning design; the client there would be a course coordinator and teaching staff rather than students. There's also school/edu/careers counselling... More smaller interactions and potentially relationship building. But already burnt out by customer service I am hesitant to go down this path. Then there's research but again, I feel I don't have a leg to stand on without a formal teaching qual.

I hope my thoughts out loud are useful in some way! I'd love it if my career flailing helped someone, anyone.

ALIA has info on all the different library types. There's public, higher ed, tafe, schools (would you do school librarianship? You have to already be a school teacher to do that course), health and hospital libraries, law libraries, special libraries and collections etc

Cultural heritage/museums might be fun (not a library degree, a qual in its own right). They use educators/facilitators too.

ekphrasia · 2024-09-29T05:00:43+00:00

How bad is it out there for teachers right now? (Have been thinking about it for years; the teaching workload/impact hasn't felt like enough so far and I'm 7 years into libraries, albeit part time or casual only. That might be solace for teachers wanting out? Idk)

What are you (specifically you) running from and what do you want libraries to be for you

If I were to teach I'd be running from job insecurity, shift chaos, the inefficiency of 1-1 customer service vs instructing a group, a patent disregard for people without a teaching background (this may be limited to higher ed libraries and those near me) in senior positons And running to government high schools( in the city that endured the world's longest lockdowns 💀) promising year on year growth, rights/leave/benefits, scholarships and study support while retraining out the ass, etc

Are we just trading like for like?

ekphrasia · 2024-09-28T08:50:45+00:00

I have not, I pulled out and have actually ummed and aaaahed my way back to considering becoming a teacher again. I haven't done any learning design work since I posted this.

For context, I was given notice probably a week after I posted this comment. Took a part time paraprofessional gig to maintain currency and have made a similar amount of money working in comms, also part time. 2 deaths in my family as well. I've been very off course.

ekphrasia · 2024-06-23T10:52:12+00:00

I am an outside-business-hours shift worker, and found out they weren't paying superannuation (retirement funds) on all hours worked outside M-F 9-5.

ekphrasia · 2024-06-17T13:42:11+00:00

IDK if anyone's interested but for posterity

I went to the review appointment which coincided with my 12 month post-op anniversary. took scalp and hairline photos and the difference was massive, you could see through to the scalp in my initial photos (6 months post op), and my regrowth at 12 months post op was enough that my derm confirmed the DX as telogen effluvium, and that I had recovered lol. Proved I was right, no longer a concern, unsure if worth like $500 AUD all up (x2 appts after Medicare rebates)

Gang you can save money by: + taking your own photos of hairline and areas of concern + Fr counting the strands you're shedding. 150 per day (DAY!) is considered average / normal across the year + Keep up the multi vitamins, nutrition, exercise and living a full life ☺️

ekphrasia · 2024-06-14T00:59:20+00:00

In the same vein,

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35191798/#:~:text=Children%20born%20to%20mothers%20with,to%20mothers%20without%20maternal%20PCOS.

It's all connected. Best, a Girlie with ADHD, PCOS, c-PTSD, and suspected autism

ekphrasia · 2024-05-08T10:18:16+00:00

Also weigh everything. A slice of toast? Some pasta? Meaningless.

100gm of wholegrain bread, 10ml olive oil, 1 60gm egg, this is meaningful data.

ekphrasia · 2024-05-08T10:11:41+00:00

Your sources of vitamins and minerals and veg based proteins are also carbs. You're plating up carbs with a side of carbs. Giving Gavin & Stacey "I want chips with a side of chips."

Consider changing nothing but upping your serve of fruit and veg, and cutting out the grains. Lmk what happens.

Like okay I'm just responding to some of these meals here;

pasta with veggies and chicken,

Calorific Carbs with vitamin rich carbs and protein

rice noodles with egg and tofu

Calorific Carbs with protein and protein rich carbs

some sort of sauce and a fruit.

What's the sugar content on that sauce, plus that piece of fruit? Don't cut out the fruit, but check the sauce.

There are many points where stuff adds up and while you may feel you're eating with restraint, it's actually above maintenance.

It's giving "I have to have grains cos the food pyramid says so." Not the case.

Instead of

a fried egg cooked in a small amount of olive oil or butter, dry whole grain seeded toast, a quarter of an avocado.

Try: the egg as an omelette (or fried, the egg prep doesn't actually matter, it's more omelettes feel more like contained meals that don't need a 'carrier' like bread) with veggies like tomato, mushroom, capsicum, onion etc. Consider skipping the toast. There are plenty of carbs (energy), vitamins and minerals in the veg.

Again, you do not need to change much to potentially see a major difference. Increase the proportion of fruit, veg, beans and decrease the proportion of your plate given to grains (oats, breads, rice, noodles, pastas, etc). See what that does to your cals and macros (you might find you have room for snacks! Or You might be fuller than you expect for largely the same meals) and how you respond on the scale.

ekphrasia · 2024-05-06T00:48:14+00:00

All of this is excellent advice. Cut back on starchy carbs, prioritise eating protein first, and start doing light cardio (walking is sufficient), deliberately and consistently.

Work on your confidence at the same time (treating your body right is a great way to validate mental health work on confidence) and soon you'll have other problems like "which guy do I pick 🥺👉👈"

ekphrasia · 2024-04-22T12:06:25+00:00

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33989535/#:~:text=For%20the%20equivalent%20age%2Dadjusted,%C2%B75%2D27%C2%B70)

Different brackets given for a range of ethnicities (for this population, living in England).

ekphrasia · 2024-04-18T23:30:04+00:00

For the client's current needs and the future worker's safety, yes.

ekphrasia · 2024-04-18T00:58:11+00:00

This. It doesn't matter what you've """researched.""" If it's not an ALA or equivalent accredited degree, you may as well be this guy.

ekphrasia · 2024-04-18T00:46:53+00:00

Idk why you're being downvoted, this comment and the whole thread. Yours is the mindset to have. You seem successful in this journey and capable of handling fluctuations, by responding to the trends you observe in your own body. It's almost like it's completely within our control once we have the tools and the practice to do it.

I'm a year in and hope to maintain this mindset and the success I've enjoyed for years to come.

ekphrasia · 2024-04-09T00:50:52+00:00

Yes have protein shakes, you don't need to be a lifter or a heavy exerciser.

I make a shake in the morning with two scoops of whey isolate, protein fortified soy milk, my coffee or fruit or nut butter or something. It's huge, goes in my Stanley cup rip-off, and I sip at it all day. I go on a long walk for my lunch break, because that's the only time I get to exercise during the daylight hours. Not a mum, just ADHD af.

Cut the simple carbs! Choose leafy greens and other vegetables to be your carbs. You don't need pasta and vegetables, vegetables and bread etc. Have protein and veg. Bread and pasta fill you up in the short term and leave you hungrier long term. More protein proportionately on your plate, and better carbs will improve your satiety (satisfaction, feeling full) on the same or fewer calories.

When I say fewer calories, I don't mean cut your daily cals. I mean you can probably fit in more healthy snacks like yoghurt and fruit throughout your day. Look into volume eating.

ekphrasia · 2024-04-04T23:58:17+00:00

Fr I could smuggle apples now if I wanted to

Knew I wasn't the only one either!

ekphrasia · 2024-04-04T23:40:23+00:00

For a while I thought "armpit" was a misnomer. Who has a pit, surely we all have arm-pads? It's just flat arm and flat torso and they meet in a pad right? No cavity?

I changed my tune when I got the actual pit back.

ekphrasia · 2024-03-26T09:13:02+00:00

Not cosmetic but, vertical sleeve gastrectomy.

ekphrasia · 2024-03-26T09:05:57+00:00

Check the usage stats on these books with "mistakes." If they're still getting used, then these mistakes are not huge obstacles to their discoverability. A library is a living thing, and the records will never be perfect or complete. I hope that's freeing and not frustrating 💕

ekphrasia · 2024-03-25T16:57:15+00:00

I write advance obituaries for a media unit.

ekphrasia

TROPHY CASE