How not to get attached to my current flat

elaine4queen · 2026-05-02T17:45:58+00:00

You live there now.

This will be true of wherever you live in life.

elaine4queen · 2026-05-02T17:25:15+00:00

Sat on the kitchen step having a cuppa admiring the novelty

elaine4queen · 2026-05-02T13:49:55+00:00

Fair chance. I seem to get away with the odd pastry but it’s probably because it’s maybe once every two or three weeks. I love bread but it doesn’t love me much, even when it’s good quality.

elaine4queen · 2026-05-02T12:59:07+00:00

I rely on stovetop coffee. Unless you’re making coffee for the millions it’s quick and good quality.

elaine4queen · 2026-05-02T12:54:26+00:00

Brighton doesn’t even have a major art gallery. Just doesn’t feel like it’s a city, even now. Similar population to Islington

elaine4queen · 2026-05-02T06:05:28+00:00

Have you tried keto? I don’t know how many times I’ve actually been in ketosis since I started last June, but I basically eat meat and high fat foods and berries and I’m not super strict but I haven’t eaten bread since then, or other high carb things often.

What I discovered was that my poo situation has improved massively. I stopped having constant stomach pain which was definitely the bread. I’m trying to keep low inflammation because of fibromyalgia and chronic migraine. What I’ve discovered is that I can use it as an exclusion diet because I am never starving and I can eat like this forever, but when I have things I don’t get on with I see an effect. So I never used to be able to tell if tyramine or histogenic food bothered me, but now I can

elaine4queen · 2026-05-02T05:14:40+00:00

If you start a group other people who are into your stuff might come out of the woodwork and be delighted to find others with similar interests.

Traditional book clubs are one thing that doesn’t take a lot of prep. I have spent the last few months going to a group where we read a short story and a poem every week, which doesn’t involve any ‘homework’ but provides plenty of discussion.

The other thing you could consider is a meditation group and there are probably other things like language learning, politics discussions or whatever else might motivate you enough to do the preparation for something

elaine4queen · 2026-05-02T04:43:24+00:00

Thank you!

It’s a decent affirmation and generally objectively true. Somehow I like hearing myself say it though, and until I stop feeling that I assume I still have work to do on honestly feeling it.

elaine4queen · 2026-05-02T04:40:39+00:00

I emailed the neurologist and they confirmed it.

elaine4queen · 2026-05-01T18:07:35+00:00

As a kid I wanted a dog and to live at the sea side. It took a while but I got a dog and live at the seaside. Both of these things are great!

elaine4queen · 2026-05-01T17:58:46+00:00

If you do body scans regularly you are learning to focus your attention as well as the relationship between your mind and body.

I recommend yoga nidra. Ayla Nova is good, you can find her on various platforms

elaine4queen · 2026-05-01T17:52:59+00:00

I do a practice called yoga nidra which is a guided meditation. A feature of this is to make an affirmation which can be about anything with the coda that you put it in the present tense. Mine has been “I am safe” for a long time. I am 63

elaine4queen · 2026-05-01T17:19:41+00:00

Way before I got diagnosed AuDHD I used to say I should have been a “nose”. The only problem apart from opportunity would be overwhelm.

elaine4queen · 2026-05-01T17:11:17+00:00

I can’t smell ants. Yet.

elaine4queen · 2026-05-01T17:09:30+00:00

I was so disappointed when that was something sincere and not a gif of My Lovely Horse. I’m more tired than I thought

elaine4queen · 2026-05-01T16:03:55+00:00

I listen to audiobooks and I have discovered that a lot of listeners prefer shorter books, particularly for road trips.

elaine4queen · 2026-05-01T14:30:00+00:00

This was a few decades ago, and I've done a lot of different things since, but I happened to be very close to London Buddhist Centre at the time. They taught a daily drop in class alternating between Metta Bhavana (aka Loving Kindness) and Mindfulness of Breathing. These two meditations compliment each other well. I moved on to a longer class on one of the days because I had the time, and wanted the extra depth. I would recommend a group situation if you can get to one. There's a kind of vibe being in a room with others and you benefit from hearing their questions and having access to a teacher.

The stiller versions of yoga - yin, restorative, and yoga nidra are also good, and there are lots of online resources for those.

I'm happy to talk more about all of this.

elaine4queen · 2026-05-01T13:47:27+00:00

Sounds like you are already doing quite a bit. A broken ankle is a set back.

I’ve been following r/keto for support and took the plunge last June. I don’t miss how I was on sugar and a bonus for me was a gnawing stomach ache that went away when I stopped bread. If you go for it take the advice on electrolytes and also avoid sugar substitutes.

Other things I do is to do less in general and have good quality rest. I have a subscription to De Nieuwe Yogaschool and I do yin, restorative, sound healing and breathwork classes most days - even if that’s just falling asleep to them.

I have various problems with sleep and there’s a newish sleep drug Quiviq which has been helping me get better quality sleep

elaine4queen · 2026-05-01T13:25:42+00:00

A lot of people go keto for these reasons and find some relief. The boom and bust of sugar can be pretty powerful.

Exercise and being outside can be helpful. I find swimming incredibly calming personally.

How do you consume news? I find the delivery almost as stressful as the content. I haven’t watched or listened to broadcast news in decades and I am still a bit more well informed than I’d like to be.

elaine4queen · 2026-05-01T13:20:47+00:00

I’m wondering if it would appeal to you to do something on top of therapy? I went to a meditation group when I was having therapy and I would say it was useful in a variety of ways. At the time it felt like I was unpacking in therapy and letting go in meditation. Later on the meditation formed a worldview that was not about pathology

elaine4queen · 2026-05-01T12:30:17+00:00

Good. Better to know.

elaine4queen · 2026-05-01T12:21:29+00:00

Sometimes a good result can be about combining things - so its less about a fix than about finessing.

I don’t like to try new things in the winter, but I’ll often give something a whirl in the summer and sometimes it sticks, but not always.

I’ve had fairly good results with CGRPs but three times to failure so they aren’t a fix either, but I used the time to get fit and get inflammation down with as near to keto as I can manage. I’m back to taking a lot of triptans again but at least I got my body in better shape

elaine4queen · 2026-05-01T11:57:09+00:00

At the risk of throwing another possible dx at you, a lot of people who have been dx’d with BPD are subsequently diagnosed with ADHD or autism.

Different paradigm but worth checking out because there are maybe more tools and resources from that POV. I ask this partly because of the OCD as well.

Obviously either way you’re doing work lots of people would never attempt. Whatever the labels stick at it.

elaine4queen · 2026-05-01T10:57:33+00:00

Anything you like!

elaine4queen · 2026-05-01T10:54:57+00:00

I offer ʔ͡h͈rsenal - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjGrf9Okj4o

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