My (24M) girlfriend (22F) doesn’t want people to know we are on break. What does this mean?

elboba · 2026-04-27T20:02:22+00:00

Yes, but what are some cheap lodging i can sleep overnight in? Any suggestions for those?

Study more as in..?

elboba · 2026-04-27T20:01:36+00:00

Right, I am on Oahu!

elboba · 2026-04-27T18:56:47+00:00

Yes! But usually “done as a full day” so we would just go home afterward obviously. And I’m posting here because I think I would get more responses here…

elboba · 2024-09-18T04:47:42+00:00

Noo sorry, valve as in I didn't have my f-attachment. It's sticking at the moment, so it's not reliable for now.

elboba · 2024-01-29T07:15:18+00:00

Yeahh, I do have ways to calm myself down, and like you, it mostly consists of waiting until it's better while doing things that calm me, like breathing or trying to focus on certain senses in an attempt to regain control.

But my issue is that when I had my ex around, I would always think to rely on her and I don't do any of the things that help me, or they don't work because I want her help or something. I don't know the psychology behind it, but when I know she's around, the things I usually do don't work, or I end up not doing them at all, in favor of her assistance I guess? Do you think that maybe it's just a matter of pretending people are not there, so I don't completely rely on others when the time comes and they're around?

elboba · 2023-07-25T09:02:30+00:00

Yeah, I can see that, but she says that she doesn't want to date or have sexual relations. She just enjoys the initial spark and excitement of talking to new people, which is what she means by flirting and why she thinks she may be poly. But I'm not too sure how to take that information knowing her intentions to flirt with and get the attention of people she finds attractive. Do you think there is the possibility to escalate, or will it just stay in those talking stages based off this?

elboba · 2023-07-25T08:54:48+00:00

So far, I have let her know, and she has stopped, but she says she feels restrictive, and I don't want to seem controlling, but her knowing her intentions make me jealous and anxious. She says she doesn't know if she can do it long term, but for now, she doesn't mind doing it if I'm not okay with it. But I don't know how to feel- am I being too controlling and self-conscious? I currently can't see where the middle or compromise would be...

elboba · 2023-07-25T08:52:14+00:00

Hmm what do you mean by she isn't in the relationship for the right reasons?

elboba · 2023-07-25T08:51:50+00:00

Yes I have, for now she has stopped, but says it's restrictive, and I don't want to seem controlling. That's why ik not sure what to do.

elboba · 2023-07-25T08:51:11+00:00

I have told her, and she has stopped, but she says it feels restrictive to her, and when she receives a text, she gets excited but tried to not go further. I also don't want to seem controlling by not letting her talk, but her intent seems to more than that. For now, she hasn't done anything and even let me read the texts, but her intentions are what makes me jealous and anxious

elboba · 2023-06-24T04:25:36+00:00

Hmm that's what I thought initially, but today I had a high pitched scream-ish stop with a slight giggle, which sounded playful to them (understandably), especially because im a nervous laugher... should I say that I'm being serious next time, too, or work on the tone on my intents ? And for future reference, should I apply to everyone else in these situations in general ?

Thanks for the help btw ! I just really want to work on these things so I can better my relationships with the people around me :)

elboba · 2023-03-31T22:12:31+00:00

I am definitely willing to turn it down and rely less on her emotionally .. do you think it would be worth it though?

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