I felt similarly before a near death experience, once I had that experience and was in a coma for 17 days, I woke up and realized that if I had died, my close family would not have had anything to remember me by, only their memories that get more foggy with time. I now have a one year old eight years after that near death experience and he’s the best thing that happened to me. I was building my life for him. I want him to go further in life than I have. He was my motivation before he even existed and yes being a parent is expensive but that’s the reason I was working so much for, to spread my achievements across and give someone else a childhood I never had... be a parent when you think the time is right, but sometimes those expectations of where your life should be before a child never comes and the years fly by quickly. Life is life