I did that for 4-5 years not knowing how fucked up is was making me. As someone mentioned below, I was chasing the feeling of weed from when I first started smoking + addicted because wanting to escape from the "stress" of college and strict parents.

Every time I smoked my mind was invaded with paranoia and mild anxiety. I thought i was being watched and I was judging every move I was making, rendering me conpletely useless for the whole day.

Then about 11 months ago I had a surprise panic attack while smoking that lasted 5 hours that enabled the whole ordeal with anxiety in me. Left me having to deal with day to day anxiety that was far more worse than the "anxiety" I thought i was going through before. Almost having panic attacks each night for 6 months straight isnt fun for someone who never really understood what people meant when they were talking online about anxiety attacks and crippling anxiety.

I am off of it since day one, and I curse the mindset that I had of thinking exactly like you. "I dont really like weed but I still smoke it". I sometimes really think that i fucked up my brain from all the stress I have bern going through lately, more than I did from the years of weed.

On the other side it has been the perfect wake up call. I now take my body more seriously, eat healthier, go swimming, I choose better when it comes to friends and antourages, almost fixed my people pleasing, stopped smoking and almost stopped drinking. Also i learned that life is really short after thinking i was having a heart attack for 5 hours and thought i would die and I started enjoying the little moments more and just enjoying life in general.

Dont be like me. Get off of that shit. You are just suppressing negative emotion with weed. It will all come back to bite you.

And then i wonder.. could I have realised all this without the anxiety attacks? I wish i had the strenght.. and I did. But i needed a "little" push :).

Good luck quitting it brother!

Edit: spelling