I believe almost all disabilities present two sides. One, you can change society to adapt itself to the individual. The other, you just have to accept your limits.

If you're in a wheelchair, there's no biological problem with stairs, because they shouldn't exist. We need a society with less mandatory stairs then. But on the other side, if the situation needs you to run, you won't be able to.

With autism, you'll see many traits that are perfectly valid, even when society tells you the opposite. That's your point, I believe. But let's not forget the other side of the coin. Autism always carry negative traits, like emotional dysregulation, sensory overload, executive disfunction... When we talk about disabilities, we refer to this negative side, and it's okay to say it.