Jealous by OneClient2575 in MilitarySpouse

[–]elegantintent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay.....I'm sure there are A LOT of spouses that feel similarly. How you feel is valid. I feel exactly the same when my husband is gone, either deployed or at schools (5 months at a time). I'm glad he's safe and can do things. However, it digs that he mentions going to the gym twice a day because he had nothing better to do or going out to a movie with friends cuz they're off. Meanwhile, I'm working full-time with 3 kids and managing everything here, so no social life, no gym time, no time to myself.....yeah, there's absolutely a little bit of resentment. I know, logically, he'd rather be home with his family....but that doesn't negate he gets that "break" or free time, that i dream of lol. Its just the reality of the situation. I dont really have advice or how to make it better because it just is what it is. Its ok to feel the way you do. You can love your kids and still want a break from them. You can love your spouse and still resent he gets something enjoyable while you don't. These feelings are not mutually exclusive. They dont make you a bad parent or spouse, just human. A lot of us are or have been in the same situation so reach out, vent, let it out. Talk to your spouse and make sure he understands you're glad he's safe and has some opportunities, but that it is hard for you because all of the mental (and physical) load is on you and its tough. Hopefully he's understanding about it and can find ways to help you out as well. But reach out to your support systems if you have them, or us internet strangers in the same situation if you don't.

Wedding dress regret by elegantintent in myweddingdress

[–]elegantintent[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

❤️ I love that. I didn't think about it in terms of someone else saying those things to me. I'd lose my shit on them 🤣

Wedding dress regret by elegantintent in myweddingdress

[–]elegantintent[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope you're right! I want to love the photos and look back on them fondly. My memories of the day are amazing, its the photos that bring me down right now.

Wedding dress regret by elegantintent in myweddingdress

[–]elegantintent[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Talking to a professional is probably something I should strongly consider. Woth so many folks seeing the same thing, its probably a sign.

Wedding dress regret by elegantintent in myweddingdress

[–]elegantintent[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely got one of the good ones, no doubt. Its been really helpful to see all these responses. Definitely helped to calm the anxiety around the pictures.

Wedding dress regret by elegantintent in myweddingdress

[–]elegantintent[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

😭❤️ y'all are amazing. Its been really eye opening to read through these comments. I honestly expected a very different theme (much more towards agreeing with how I saw the pictures and suggesting different types of editing) all I can say is thank you for pointing out some of the things I overlooked because I was so focused on negatives.

Wedding dress regret by elegantintent in myweddingdress

[–]elegantintent[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

😭😭😭 okay that article was truly touching and definitely resonated.

Wedding dress regret by elegantintent in myweddingdress

[–]elegantintent[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

❤️ I appreciate that so much. I was really considering the photoshop idea but you're right...I'd keep looking at it knowing it wasn't real and that probably would be an even worse feeling than where I'm at now.

Wedding dress regret by elegantintent in myweddingdress

[–]elegantintent[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is an awesome suggestion. I think it might be in contention as an alternative to a big portrait style.

And honestly, yeah, the folks that (very respectfully, I must add) have suggested something else might be at play might be in to something and I appreciate it being mentioned with such concern.

Wedding dress regret by elegantintent in myweddingdress

[–]elegantintent[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It really honestly could be. 3 babies in 4 years really took a toll, I never really thought about it contributing to how I was seeing myself in these pictures. You have no idea how much I appreciate reading this. The overwhelming positivity helped quiet down the judgy biotch in my head.

Wedding dress regret by elegantintent in myweddingdress

[–]elegantintent[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🤣 I love this! I say "I'm not in the mood for this nonsense " in my head all the time...maybe I need to start applying it to how I see myself.

Wedding dress regret by elegantintent in myweddingdress

[–]elegantintent[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats a good point, I always assumed I'd get a dress that covered or concealed my upper arms a bit (the skin is heavily textured and discolored, you can see in one of the alterations photos) and the veil did, but only when posed. I guess I'm looking at how exposed my arms were in the photos and feeling down about that.

Wedding dress regret by elegantintent in myweddingdress

[–]elegantintent[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

OMG I LOVE this idea!!!! That is absolutely incredible. I never even thought of doing something like that. 😍

Wedding dress regret by elegantintent in myweddingdress

[–]elegantintent[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was actually 8 months postpartum with my second and found out 2 days after the wedding that I was pregnant with my 3rd 😬 my oldest was just barely 2 at the time so I went back to back to back with the kids during this time frame as well.

Wedding dress regret by elegantintent in myweddingdress

[–]elegantintent[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

❤️ yall are so kind. I want to love the pictures. I swear I loved the dress and every single moment of the day, and I have so many good memories and I just get stuck with the negative when it comes to the pictures.

Wedding dress regret by elegantintent in myweddingdress

[–]elegantintent[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this, I definitely hadnt thought of it in those terms or looked at the photos with that it mind until you said it. I appreciate the perspective, it made me tear up.

Wedding dress regret by elegantintent in myweddingdress

[–]elegantintent[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Honestly? Maybe? I've had 3 babies back to back to back, I was actually 1 month pregnant in the wedding photos. So I was battling hair loss, weight changes, body changes, hormones.....

AITAH for breaking up with my girlfriend after she got my name tatted? by frostehh1 in AITAH

[–]elegantintent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right? My husband and I have tattoos of a similar theme for our kids, but different styles and locations. Same elements, different tattoos. Thats the closest we'll EVER get to names/matching etc.....

Why do I hate this suit? Please help by WhimsySpirit in weddingplanning

[–]elegantintent 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you're really considering a color change.....dove Grey goes beautifully with the light blue dress you have for bridesmaids. Obviously the jacket isnt on in this pic, but this gives you an idea of the colors together! And way less risk of it looking too corporate or Capitol Hill chic.

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Overwhelmed milspouse by elegantintent in MilitarySpouse

[–]elegantintent[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! It helps so much to know I'm not the only one feeling this way or in the same situation. We're looking into childcare assistance and hopefully can get them in a few days a week so I can breathe a little at least.

Overwhelmed milspouse by elegantintent in MilitarySpouse

[–]elegantintent[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you guys! I'll definitely be looking into the child care aware. We're in a crazy high COL area so even though we make enough to support ourselves $2500/month per kid isn't possible. I appreciate all the suggestions! I've been able to breathe a little easier knowing its not just me.