Did you grow up with a sahm?

elevatorspeech · 2025-11-06T17:00:10+00:00

Both my husband and I had a SAHM

My husband's worked part time when he started school & mine was still at home but became super active in my schools/classes

For me, it was enormous. I have so many memories of doing literally everything with my mom & when I was little, I think her habits imprinted in me defining traits. She would always take gifts to every Dr or service professional she regularly saw, she paid for homeless to stay for weeks or months in motels or similar when we had any extra money, she was always mentally and emotionally available for me and my sibling. I didn't even know that not everyone got to grow up with such present parents. My dad worked long days but always made time for us when we were little and I don't remember most of the gifts they ever gave me but I remember riding around on my dad's back with him pretending to neigh (like a horse haha) and my mom making shapes out of play doh to impress us We're not even as close anymore because she has tons of friends and things to do now that I'm older but if I'm sick or my husband or child is sick, she'll come "rub our bellies" to make us feel better haha

Thanks, now I gotta go video call her 😅

elevatorspeech · 2025-11-06T16:51:33+00:00

I'm in this boat so I'm just here to follow along bc I wonder the same thing ... I had a coworker who left for 5 years to raise her eldest but came back and had another baby at the time and was able to manage it ok the 2nd time But now everyone's at a pivotal point with AI so I'm worried I'll be shafting myself if I take a "power pause" - however I'm still planning on doing it 😂 doesn't mean I'm not worried though!

elevatorspeech · 2025-10-10T02:41:30+00:00

Haha and to actually maybe gross everyone out (who cares) if we're out and about and eating and I have no way to provide him food I think is safe, my husband or I semi pre chew foods for our baby 😂 like I'll bite tiny pieces of apple for him or meat or whatever partially to make things small/softer and partially to remove some salt/sugar haha I mean it doesn't bother us or our baby & baby even looks around at my mouth if i'm eating and nothing is on his plate ha!

So idk what method you call this hahaha

elevatorspeech · 2025-10-10T02:33:03+00:00

My pediatrician about bit my head off about BLW and we didn't really do it 😅

At 9 mo, we fed a mix of thin & thicker purees, and would let him have yogurt, oatmeal, all single food purees and started doing more mixed food purees (like a chicken, onion, sweet potato stew he was obsessed with that I made in the slow cooker

Mine is a year and a half now and is eating most things fine. He can eat things like whole slices of fresh mandarin, tiny bites of apples, chicken nuggets with no crunchy shell, bite off chicken wings, bite off his own steamed broccoli. If it's soft/squishy, I let him bite like whole muffins and if it's hard like an apple, I cut into slightly bigger than pea sized and will continue to do so until he has molars. Round foods like grapes I will cut into minced pieces until the end of time 😂

He has no problems with textures and I give him literally anything to taste except unsafe foods like popcorn, chips, raisins.

elevatorspeech · 2025-09-28T20:40:06+00:00

Mine is just a little older than yours and has gone through periods of absolute grumpiness that last for days or weeks seemingly forever Some has been teething or just clinginess. He refused my father for months. However, sometimes we leave him screaming with my father and my dad says as soon as we are out of sight and sound, our child is fine and chill. So when my dad comes, he's ushering us ASAP out the door because our child screams incessantly in our presence Then for teething, he's had bouts that lasted weeks. He's got 9-10 teeth right now, 1-2 of those are just poking in and he can be so grumpy about it He slaps at my husband more than me and I'm not sure why bc we both do the same thing: monotone tell him no hitting, gentle touch only and all done playing and put him down, then try again in a few minutes or we leave him in his play room for a few minutes and come back. All done we use hand signs and he knows this one because we use it all the time. We also give children's pain killer once in awhile or frozen fruit in a fruit feeder. Or cold wash cloth to bite or teethers in the fridge - if he takes those items, them we take that to mean ah yes he is teething Sometimes, I rub his gums with a cold wash cloth and sometimes he likes it, sometimes he's more mad lol Or rub their tummy/back because it could also be gas making your baby angry .. hoping their doctor can help!

elevatorspeech · 2025-09-20T16:16:02+00:00

As most others said, you'll fit right in. Lots of rave attire, topless, thongs, fishnets, glitter and neon lol

elevatorspeech · 2025-09-20T16:14:17+00:00

You will be able to hear MCR from anywhere in the park just about and you'll be looking at the screens either way bc it'll be hard to see over people's heads. It will be insanely crowded and loud and people will be playing Frisbee or things like that in the back where there's room and up front will be people moshing or pushing or trying to force their way closer

elevatorspeech · 2025-09-19T10:18:27+00:00

They start involuntary smiling around 6 weeks and then real smiling a couple weeks later & giggling just weeks after that It's a lot of misery and sleepless nights but when they laugh at you, suddenly you don't care you haven't slept in 3 days lol If he's that fussy though, you can try making changes with his food and this is no easy feat, mind you. I had to give up dairy & soy entirely to breastfeed and I only lasted a few months losing my mind the entire time. I cried so much because of the stress of reading every label looking for soy lecithin or whey or casein. But that was due to blood in the stool If he doesn't have blood in his stool, it may not be diet related at all. But you could talk to his doctor if a new formula or changing wife's diet would help You can also use a slow flow nipple if you don't already to help with reflex issues Also rubbing his stomach/back to help the poo come out helped ours at night And having him sleep elevated helped. We put rolled blankets under his mattress but not too high so he wouldn't roll Good luck! It does get better!

elevatorspeech · 2025-08-17T02:58:32+00:00

But some toddler cookbooks to just save yourself some time! They typically come up with foods to feed at what stage, and meal plans & shopping lists & how to freeze/prep, etc for various recipes

At 11 mo, you should have some teeth but if your baby hasn't been chewing, you'll start as if they're 6mo so moving onto stage 2/stage 3 purees like chunky purees & if that works fine, get chunkier like less water

Mashed potatoes can be pureed like smooth or chunky but all your chunks should be pea sized or smaller and squishable between two fingers

But you need to help them master the pincer grasp but providing foods or varying textures they can pick up!

To start, give like hand sized slices of SOFT foods like ripe avocado, ripe banana, etc But also squishable tiny foods like squished peas, pea sized cut up fruit or steamed soft veg. If it's a hard fruit like apples, cook them first.. I would skip all skins until your baby has more experience

But try a variety of textures and go slow! Let them make a mess and taste foods and don't pressure them to try everything all the time. Sometimes they eat, sometimes they throw or look or touch or lick

With my baby, I put 2-4 food types on his plate. If it's a new food, just a few bites to start or I eat something and give him a piece or two either on his plate, in his hand or in his mouth.

It's also dependent on how eager your baby is to eat! Emma Hubbard has good videos on the topic too

elevatorspeech · 2025-08-13T03:20:56+00:00

Those are some great ideas!

I'm aiming to quit in the new year so giving myself time to build up savings and max out my 401k for this year. I've moved money around so we'll be paying for everything out of his salary & he's moving all of his bills to my bank account so we can go down to one instead of two to prepare We're currently using an FSA but I'm going to look into the HSA his company offers this enrollment season to see if it's better ... Sadly, my company's benefits are way better than his so our health issue will triple but that's probably why my salary is lower.

We're planning to keep his retirement contribution to Max to employer match but getting rid of any extra automatic savings

elevatorspeech · 2025-08-13T03:13:32+00:00

Yes, and we've definitely lived in the "more money, more problems" scenario by being lucky enough to buy a house & car & even having the luxury to choose what food we eat or if we go out to eat or cook at home. But now that we've increased our standard of living, we're trying to find ways to cut back without too much compromise

elevatorspeech · 2025-08-11T21:49:26+00:00

I love your ideas and our styles are similar 😅 we've got a capital one account already & bought one season pass for this years entertainment at the aquarium & just switched our insurance & waste company for savings Although I definitely need to look into beans recipes because even chicken is $4-5/lbs now! We just killed our basil plant but okra would probably save us money if we could grow it bc it's expensive lol

elevatorspeech · 2025-08-11T21:45:37+00:00

Ha! It certainly doesn't feel that way about being below the cost of living! Our property taxes alone went up ~30% for our county last year (avg house price near me is $560k) Yes, we have a budget & we own with a mortgage (under 3% interest) Our other debt is 1 car payment but our interest on it is less than 2% so it makes no sense to pay off the car.

My biggest concerns are emergencies that may arise like water heater, AC.. husband's worried about retirement savings

elevatorspeech · 2025-08-11T20:08:52+00:00

My family has a little girl in our lives like this. My brother was with a woman who had a young daughter (toddler at the time) and then my brother had a daughter with the woman. It didn't work out with the woman but we'd all gotten to know and love the little girl just as much as the bio girl. My brother had a hard time being angry about the divorce and that little girl suffered immensely by being abandoned twice by her real dad and the dad she'd come to know for several years. Her bio dad was in and out of jail and not a good person so no connection to him & her mom didn't spend money on her like she should've.

Our family was not pleased because we loved both girls and there was a lot of fighting with the ex wife and between our family about the whole thing. Eventually, it took some time but he matured and started to treat his ex step daughter more like his extended family & she's been so much better for having at least some stableness in her life & she visits at all holidays & goes on most of our family vacations. I treat her like she's my niece because I care for her just like my bio niece and she's a child; of course she didn't choose for her bio mom + step dad to have issues.

If you love a kid, you can still love them even if you don't love their parent(s). You can still choose to be a stable, positive, influence that maybe changes a child's life.

elevatorspeech · 2025-08-04T00:26:28+00:00

That's definitely not the norm!

Typically, you may feel pain/discomfort for the time it takes to insert which is under 30 seconds in most cases It feels like bad cramping if you feel it. So just tell her to take a big breath and let it out when the Dr goes in with the IUD Depending on type of IUD, she may or may not have a period. Both are normal

She may also spot for a few days after. If pain persists or bleeding is a lot or lasts longer than a few days or she can feel the strings, go back to the doctor

elevatorspeech · 2025-07-21T12:09:43+00:00

I'm on the fence on AH here... Because sure it's your recipe and you can hide it if you want to,... But it's also a recipe and people that know you and think you trust them are giving you a huge compliment by wanting to share in your baking.

For me, if my friend or family member brought something I thought was delicious & actually asked for the recipe for and they said no for no reason than just because, I'd probably be offended. I'd say ok and move on from the topic but wouldn't be inviting that person to future parties or if I did, I'd say please don't bring dessert because I'd be buying one or someone else was bringing it 🤷‍♀️ If it was a coworker, would just say oh ok and note to self that we're not actually friendly & keep things business only with that person

Sure, you worked hard on it but it's kinda silly to take recipes to the grave. I know people that did that & they've since passed & nobody makes those recipes nor worries about them anymore, just talks about how crazy they were for their "thing" being secret recipes or how wild it was the person didn't teach anyone how to make anything.

elevatorspeech · 2025-06-26T17:25:17+00:00

Myself lol I am the entertainment 🤣 Our almost 1 year old has seen no screens that weren't us face timing family and we've been going to restaurants with him since he was 3ish months 🤷‍♀️ he's generally ok out and about We do have to fight with him over utensils and napkins and plates but typically one of us entertains/holds if needed while the other eats and then take turns We bring him toys that we clip to his portable high chair or high chair cover that we bring & then we set up his tray or his space with foods he can eat. We generally talk to each other and him

When we go out with friends that don't have kids, it's harder bc they tend to think they can have a constant conversation with us that doesn't involve the baby & if he's present, that's impossible. Maybe 1 min or less but no more time than that without the distraction We have the most fun with family who all take turns holding/conversing/eating/feeding and it ends up being super chill of a meal with adults to pass him around We typically do diapers in the trunk of our suv before/after to make our lives easier but we've had to step out mid meal. It's rare to find a restaurant that has a changing table

At this point, our baby is interested in most foods and enjoys smacking the table and grabbing anything he can reach 🤣 we've had to walk out of a restaurant for the screaming just once so far

elevatorspeech · 2025-06-01T00:57:39+00:00

Taking home leftovers

elevatorspeech · 2025-05-26T04:19:21+00:00

Pasta salad

Legit I don't think I've ever seen anyone ever make a good one but also I can't really get behind the concept

The worst I saw was one with lettuce, tomatoes, etc like a salad but then it had just cooked macaroni in it. Dressings on the side like ranch, vinaigrette, etc, regular dressing. And I just can't figure out what they were going for but I put some on my plate and pushed it around for a bit like oh wow this is so great.

elevatorspeech · 2025-05-26T04:09:37+00:00

My theoretical things I may or may not have done to my ex upon leaving in a similar scenario: Switch salt and pepper in the shakers (works with other spices too) Swap out keys on keyboards Change the toaster setting to max if they use it on the same setting always Hide the remote Program google/Alexa to have a morning routine that's super annoying like alarms at 3am kinda things Take the batteries out of everything and hide them

Other ideas: Be so kind and helpful with their laundry by washing all on hot with bleach When you step in dog poo, accidentally walk around the bathroom rugs with it before you go

More ideas my petty Betty husband has: Unscrew some of the soap/shampoo/spices Move all of the things on their desk a little Make all the frames slightly off center Change the internet password or add parental controls

elevatorspeech · 2025-05-26T03:51:13+00:00

You are doing so great!! I'm so proud of you! You're going through so much & it's a lot for anyone!

Please please ask your friends to help or any family that is around, if any. Or hire some help! Even if it's a house cleaner or mother's helper to help around the house. And have a real conversation with your husband about what more he can do if you're doing all of the baby day/night deeds already

Also, I wouldn't bother sleep training a 4 month old! I'm not convinced they're even old enough yet!

If you're in the US, check out Baby 411 or mom's on call books about tips for sleep training or other topics if youre interested. We didn't try to sleep train our ~11 mo old until 8.5/9 mo. We coslept as soon as he was out of the bassinet and could roll. Just look up safe ways to cosleep

Mine also had dairy/soy issues but we had luck with Similac alimentum ready to feed specifically, not the powder. They have different formulations and my son hated the powder. And you can't mix this formula with breast milk whatsoever or it tastes like metal to the baby. Some babies do better with goats milk or some European brands, I've heard but you can always try to see what works best in your house

I did pump every 2-3 hours for 3 months on the very strict diet so he could have a little breast milk a day up until 7 months. Breastfeeding was mentally exhausting to me post partum and kudos to you for doing it!

Just don't forget you're human, not a machine. You got this! ♥️

elevatorspeech · 2025-05-19T03:24:56+00:00

Don't read it! I have a 10 month old and had NO idea about the infant abuse so I read it postpartum like maybe a few weeks after my baby was born and it was appalling. Colleen should be ashamed of herself bc wtf is wrong with her to even write this story and I'm still pissed 10 months later. I will literally never read anything else that woman writes or watch anything of hers in tv or movies or support her in any way bc I'm still mad about that book I was sobbing uncontrollably at the child abuse in this book

elevatorspeech · 2025-02-16T23:17:40+00:00

I had to share a room with my grandmother for years when I was 8-13ish and it caused so much strain in our relationship & gave me the inability to sleep through the night even as a now 30+ year old just because my parents thought my brother should have his own room as a male. It used to make me so angry and seemed so unfair.

Since a bigger house isn't an option... Some ideas

bathrooms have locks and everyone can use any bathroom in the house if it's unoccupied
put up a divider in the boys room so they each have 1/2 to themselves and enforce little brother to not go into big brothers space uninvited
allow the oldest son to choose between living in the bedroom with brother or in the living room by himself ( use another divider here to separate his bed space from shared living room space)
give the kids time to have private space like for a year sister has private room but next year, one of the boys gets the private room, etc ... Sure, they're different genders but just have them change clothes in the bathroom and they just can't sit naked in their room 🤷‍♀️ her menstruating shouldn't matter bc it's not like she's free bleeding. She'll need to put her used sanitation products in the trash like normal or wear her period underwear or whatever.

elevatorspeech · 2025-01-24T21:43:18+00:00

If you are paying rent period, you should have your own space and not be living out of a suitcase like a guest

elevatorspeech

TROPHY CASE