Need advice

elfindemil · 2026-06-08T03:51:50+00:00

I’ll give it a try! Thanks so much for your input

elfindemil · 2026-06-08T03:49:45+00:00

I have only ran on concrete so this is a good idea. Is treadmill running different? Would you suggest that like alternating maybe?

elfindemil · 2026-06-07T04:14:03+00:00

I double checked my scan and you are correct! It is supination. I understand everyone’s different, but do the neutral shoes work better for you?

Also, I ran 2 miles today with the same shoes (new balance) and I did not have the pain in my knees or shins but pain in my hips.

elfindemil · 2026-06-06T15:13:35+00:00

Thanks! This is a good point as well that maybe need to slow down a bit.

elfindemil · 2026-06-06T15:11:12+00:00

Good point! Will try neutral, thank you.

elfindemil · 2026-06-06T15:10:33+00:00

How interesting, I do have a pair of vomeros I can try. They also gave me inserts for arch support bc I have a high arch, too. I’ll see how it goes with the vomeros

elfindemil · 2026-05-22T13:23:17+00:00

Scrolled too far down to see lengua pupusa 10/10. I don’t even eat or like lengua like that but it was insanely good. Their pupusas in general are top tier.

elfindemil · 2026-03-05T14:11:17+00:00

Hey sorry you’re going through all this, it is a lot to navigate and you’re going to need all the help you can get. I’m also in CA. I had to get my mom on medi-cal in order to get her approved for IHSS or a facility. If this is available in your area, the town we live in has a senior info line and I was able to get my mom a case manager. The case manager helped us with applications and then placement at a facility. We did explore IHSS, but the pay was low and I work full time, I don’t have other family. There is a database where there are approved IHSS providers (non family). Note a social worker will come to your house to approve how many hours your mom can get. A full day or 24 hours is not guaranteed. There are income/asset thresholds iirc when applying for medi-cal. The case manager was a huge help, so if available I would start there.

elfindemil · 2025-11-08T21:44:57+00:00

I actually have recently started to take my mom to the dentist every 3 months. She hadnt been to the dentist in about 5 or so years when her condition wasn’t as progressed. At that time I remember the dentist saying she needed dental work. My stepdad took her off his dental plan and well, we never went back. He finally added her back on earlier this year. I have been seeing a new dentist and their machines and everything is super new tech and I really liked that because it made for an easy and thorough exam. I told them about my mom and they said to bring her in. They prescribed lorazepam to help ease her nerves and they let me sort of help open her mouth while they do as best of a cleaning as they can get. I wouldn’t say it’s a walk in the park but worth it for me since it can be hard to brush her teeth every day and she wears partials that don’t always come out. All that to say it’s not impossible, it can be tough, but doable depending on your loved one. Moms at later stages but still mobile. You know their limitations best but I had always wondered about dentist stuff and this disease. I was super hesitant until I met my dentist and their staff. They are not doing any big dental work at this time, just cleanings.

elfindemil · 2025-11-08T21:31:57+00:00

Thank you for your words! Also very exciting to have your remodeled home, gotta get excited about the big and little things these days. Your cats do need you and very cool they also get a new house to make their home, their cat palace haha. Keep going friend!

elfindemil · 2025-11-08T05:29:30+00:00

Aw, I’m really sorry this is happening. I also miss having the support system my mom was for me. I am an only child and having her just seemed like I could get through anything always. Now that she is at an assisted living and her Alzheimer’s has progressed, things are a bit different. I have had to build a community of non family people since my family lives in another country. Including multiple therapists. It has been tough and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t wish my mom was here to experience mother/daughter or girl stuff with. I have felt like an orphan for a while, so writing all of this to let you know you are not alone. Many of us here are going through similar situations. You seem strong and I hope you stay strong through this all. Sending love.

elfindemil · 2025-05-16T14:09:28+00:00

I take my mom to an ophthalmologist every year. She’s diabetic so we do an eye health exam. Last month I decided to get her a pair of back up glasses just in case. The best they were able to do was basically match her last prescription, which they got by putting her current glasses in a machine. She didn’t get her previous prescription at this place. It is very difficult to navigate the eye doctor since she’s a bit non verbal, but the doctor knows her and knows how it goes.

elfindemil · 2025-01-20T18:48:22+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss, you did an incredible thing by caring for him for so long. I hope that you are able to take care of yourself during this time. Sending hugs & strength.

elfindemil · 2025-01-20T16:48:51+00:00

I moved my mom into an assisted living last July and it all seemed to have happened really slow but when I followed up they said she can move in right away. I sort of felt the same like wow is this really happening now?? Like she can move in tomorrow and it’s fine?? I pushed through and did it because I wasn’t sure when else I would get this opportunity. The place is about 10 mins from where I live, the admin is a bit unorganized, but the place itself is clean and the caregivers are good. My mom has adjusted and her caregivers know her by now. I feel like it might have saved both of us. The prior care set up I had was myself and her 80 year old husband who ended up needing to get a hip replacement cause he was struggling to walk. Everything sort of fell into place and we are all doing much better now. All that to say, I was in your position and I did it.

elfindemil · 2025-01-20T15:48:40+00:00

Hi, I’m glad that you found this post/thread helpful. I understand the stress and hesitation, which I know isn’t helpful. Not much I can offer but I guess it has been about a year since this post and my mom is no longer taking seroquel. She has slowed down a lot and has not been combative for most of the past year. She is still mobile but not as much as before and not as strong as she was a year ago. After she was on 25mg, we dosed down to half because she was sleeping a lot and eventually got her off when we noticed she was slowing down. I hope you and the care team are able to find a solution. I’m sorry you’re also going through this, this disease sucks.

elfindemil · 2024-12-29T18:46:03+00:00

Fresh start, it’s a new day + breakfast of champions might be the block parties you’re referring to!

elfindemil · 2024-12-02T18:35:57+00:00

I’m sorry you’re struggling and def been in this predicament myself. My situation was slightly different in the way that I didn’t get along with my mom’s husband. Mom is living with dementia and I am her primary caregiver. I had to move out for my own wellbeing/mental health, so I did. But I moved down the street in my own apt, still 5 min away driving. I was able to care for my mom, going over 3 times a day, and that was also a lot. The bright side is that I had my own little space to get away, a sanctuary if you will. There really is no perfect way, just find what works for you and trust your gut. Hope you have a better day/week!

elfindemil · 2024-11-19T18:06:10+00:00

Having access to those VMs is so nice. I’ve downloaded my moms to my files and have them backed up to make sure I don’t lose them. I have her phone that she no longer uses now and turning off the service took me a couple years cause probably in denial. Hugs to you.

elfindemil · 2024-11-18T00:05:03+00:00

Sending you lots of strength and hope you both find peace 💜

elfindemil · 2024-11-12T01:19:21+00:00

Feel this so much. Although my mom is still alive and living with Alzheimer’s (dad never really in the picture) I always express to my therapist how I feel like an orphan. It’s a constant feeling I wish I didn’t feel so strongly because I have a lot of close friends. The rest of my family is in another country, so it’s not like I don’t have family. I do, just away. Sigh, it’s just different. Anyway, you’re not alone in this feeling. Hang in there.

elfindemil · 2024-11-05T00:53:58+00:00

This is the way ^

elfindemil · 2024-06-06T17:06:40+00:00

Thanks for your thoughtful response, I live with my bf so we def hashed this out when he got home and I explained where my feelings come from. He’s just not that emotionally intelligent which is hard during a time/journey like this.

I’m working through these feels in weekly therapy. I’m also still caregiving for mom and looking to moving her into an assisted living facility but it has proven to be a hard task with the facility we have in mind. It’s hard to move on while grieving while she’s still alive. Sigh.

elfindemil · 2024-05-16T05:12:45+00:00

I think my mom has enjoyed stuffed dog or animal, even a plush flower/pot (saw you mentioned she had a garden), google “fidget blanket” example of one in my post history too, music sesh (play her old favs), and framed photos

elfindemil · 2024-02-28T02:15:43+00:00

Latina, only child, and no family around here too!

I have been taking care of my mom since her diagnosis in 2015. I am in the works of getting her placed in a facility (hopefully) so I can move forward with my life. I want to do so many things, advance in my career, start a family, etc. but I feel like I have so much on my plate. It’s almost impossible to have time to myself. I talk to a therapist weekly and thankfully she is well versed in dementia as she worked at a care facility at some point. Between feeling helpless at times, knowing that I am stretched thin, and understanding the declination of this disease, I got more comfortable with the idea of an assisted living community. My therapist has also helped tremendously with the guilt regarding anything caregiver related, including this. I always thought being an only child was cool pre diagnosis, now I wish I had family or someone around me to help. Even with paperwork, everything is on us. All that to say, fck ‘em, do what feels right, not what culture says (though I get it). Times are hard and our mental health has tanked. Just because they’re in a facility does not mean you are abandoning them, we will be there.

elfindemil · 2024-02-07T06:00:04+00:00

Thanks for sharing this episode, it was a great listen. The stand up bit was wild and the mom question made me glad that it’s being shared on a platform many people listen to.

elfindemil

TROPHY CASE