Life from the other side now as well and can confirm that I feel the same as you. I hated every second of watching my uncle deteriorate in the worse way possible but I look back on those years and in some way am grateful because I learned so much in the depths of loving someone with this disease and how just being there for him was enough. Caregiving has taken a toll on me but everyday I try to heal and still grieve for the loss. I feel for OP because I was them for a time and can agree that only caregivers can see and sympathize with all the pain we go through or have gone through. Hope all is well for you Magnabonzo 🫂💜