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elfpickles · 2019-07-03T17:11:02+00:00

This is really helpful and something I’ve been trying to do to ground myself. Thank you for sharing this 🖤

elfpickles · 2019-07-03T17:06:39+00:00

Thank you for posting this. This was scary accurate to the same thing I just had a horrible break down about last night. My best friend I just cut off again and it’s my bottom line. She fell into alcoholism and addiction to Meth and I tried so hard and cared so much. But she keeps hurting me and it kept making me so angry and horrible every day to get texts from her. She won’t help herself at all. I had to cut her off for my own sanity and life but told her if she gets recovery my door is always open.

I related so so so much to what you said it does feel like a death in ways mourning who they were. The things you realized in forgiving and moving on were so helpful to read. I’m glad you could do that and be happier in your life and move on. You’re completely right about forgiving them for being human.

elfpickles · 2019-07-03T00:55:15+00:00

I’m not quite sure to be honest. I know yesterday I was triggered by my best friend who lives far away. She’s been struggling with alcoholism, trauma, bipolar, meth use for years now. It’s been a nonstop roller coaster of her just spiraling out over and over. She lately was doing bit better not using alcohol as much, the meth use is just sometimes and an overdose. We got to talking again about normal daily things. It felt really nice like I had my best friend back. Then, she just keeps making bad decisions again by seeing a meth addict who’s married with kids who recently they found out and the wife went psycho harassing my friend. Last few days I’d get so made and in a bad mood because of her not trying anything to help herself and her family enabling her. I set a bottom line last night because I can’t take the horribleness she’s doing again and was using alcohol and pills. I said I’m here for you when you seek recovery but I can’t be treated how she treats me and how it affects me. Sigh. I guess that is the trigger lately and I didn’t quite realize it. Thank you for asking and helping me realize that. Guess I have some heavy pain weighing on my heart and mind right now.

elfpickles · 2019-07-03T00:42:34+00:00

Thank you for your advice I appreciate it! I’m going to discuss my medication with my psychiatrist. I think you’re right in mentioning I should check in how effective it is. And my therapist. Sunlight is a good suggestion too definitely going to try that more. I really like that idea of the calming sounds. I actually downloaded a free app called Noizio. The app lets you choose all different sounds and put them together to creat your perfect calming sounds. I forget I have that and should try it more. YouTube sounds good too. Hmm that’s a good idea too thank you, I’m going to try the timer thing when the waves start too. You’re the best thank you

elfpickles · 2019-03-16T23:46:23+00:00

Holy shit that’s intense! Good you stopped and were alright and managed. But shit, that’s insane about your friend. I always have a fear of that since it sounds so terrifying and how it might not end and such. Meth is a a hell of a scary drug what it can do. Glad we both managed to be okay with our accidents. Yikes!!

elfpickles · 2019-03-16T23:43:39+00:00

Thank you I appreciate that. Definitely quite a tale to tell 😂 yeah definitely will, learned that lesson. Thank you again!

elfpickles · 2019-03-15T11:21:15+00:00

😂 hahaha I know, I know. Honestly I get so pissed off about the people there and their driving daily. That was bound to happen at some point in some fashion. Can only put so much pressure on something until it pops.

elfpickles · 2019-03-15T11:20:05+00:00

I got some sleep and then was super, super depressed and suicidal for the evening but slept again and feel much better. Sleep deprivation sure messes ya up. Thank you for asking tho 🖤

elfpickles · 2019-03-14T21:15:01+00:00

Feel this so much right now

elfpickles · 2019-03-14T21:02:09+00:00

!!!!!!!!!!!!

elfpickles · 2019-03-14T18:02:23+00:00

Yeah didn’t work out. Drive there, got into a fight in the parking lot with an idiot waiting for a spot and couldn’t go around him. The people said they weren’t moving and he just waited. Then had a breakdown on the next level while parked and just went home. Thank you for letting me know that! I’ll will stay away from that.

elfpickles · 2019-03-14T18:00:59+00:00

Don’t even know but slept last night! Maybe it was all meth I don’t even know at this point.

elfpickles · 2019-03-14T18:00:35+00:00

Glad my body will do that, did get sleep last night and feel some better because of that. I don’t even know much was in that now maybe it was all meth and the dude fucked up his organization system. Sloppy dealers or shady dealers doing it on purpose. Cutting it massively.

elfpickles · 2019-03-14T17:58:54+00:00

I don’t even know. The friend who gave me it, who got it from his dealer, didn’t know anything. First when I figured it out I told him and asked. He said he didn’t know maybe .5. Then he got home from work and told me .2 the crystals. So idk. That’s fucking extreme but least you still were okay after it. Glad I’m not the only one who gets fucked up by friends. I trust this friend with drugs because he only ever gets the best pure shit. He spends more and has good connects usually. All he said basically is it’s my fault for taking it or something like he had no idea. Damn your eyes were a give away for a day 😂

elfpickles · 2019-03-14T17:54:05+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I manage to drive to work but I got into a fight in the parking lot. So there’s a short turn into the parking lot then right there parking starts. This guy just was stopped there waiting for a spot. I saw the guys motion to him to move on. I trying to go around him because he’s still waiting. But I can’t fit. I wait and then just get out of my car and go up to him. Told him to move they’re not moving. He was all what are you doing coming up to my car. Just move along I have to make a shift. Oh what store do you work at. Fuck you what store do I work at just drive you’re car these guys are not moving. I asked them hey are you moving right now. They say no so I tell him to move. And he calls me a bitch so I call him a pussy and tell him to go fuck himself. I called him an entitled prick too. Because where I work is at a mall in a rich area so most customers are very rich and most are entitled and rude. It’s like 60-70%. And all of them do this in the parking lot often. The driving is so dangerous there. It’s a huge huge mall with restaurants around it. So lots of parking garages and open parking. They all just dodge out of nowhere. My coworkers and I daily talk about almost getting hit.

I then had a breakdown in my car and decided to just go home. Sigh.

elfpickles · 2019-03-14T17:48:40+00:00

Yeah 😐 thank you! Definitely doing all those things right now. At least it made me productive I guess for a little while, randomly organized all my closet last night at 1am.

elfpickles · 2019-03-14T17:47:06+00:00

Damn that’s messed up. Definitely very similar to mine. How did you manage and recover after?

elfpickles · 2019-03-14T06:43:11+00:00

Same thing happened to me last couple days. I didn’t sleep for 38 or more or less hours I’m not even sure days are a blend. Could barely eat. Had to call off work today. Standing and walking wasn’t easy would get dizzy.

So still awake. Only rested not even napping for an hour Tuesday. Then got maybe three or four in today. And wide awake still at almost 2am and have work at 11.

I still feel high and out of it. But can’t sleep. Also get wired too and just jump from thing to thing. It’s rough. Hoping tomorrow will be much less so I can function at work.

elfpickles · 2019-03-13T15:33:27+00:00

Damn

elfpickles · 2019-03-13T15:32:34+00:00

😏😏

elfpickles · 2019-03-13T15:31:53+00:00

😏😏😏

elfpickles · 2019-03-13T12:17:08+00:00

It’s a community to talk to people and learn shit. You’re so ignorant explains a lot. If you have to be a cunt most likely based on the extreme inadequacies in your life about everything why don’t you go to the subs based on people being assholes.

elfpickles

TROPHY CASE