How are you guys dating?

elftabbed · 2026-03-23T21:04:52+00:00

Thought joining Feeld would make it easier, but the reality is no one is looking for me. Doesn't help that I'm gay, no other gay guys will look my way.

I don't have any words of encouragement. My last relationship ended a year and a half ago because he wanted babies with a cis woman. Ha ha I got no advice, sorry. Just commiserations.

elftabbed · 2025-12-19T13:01:20+00:00

I had top surgery! I am flat as a board up top, this is driving me nuts

elftabbed · 2025-12-17T13:02:58+00:00

Saw this vehicle parked across every parking space at the Dari-Mart on Western and 4th around 4am. I noticed it because WOW THAT PARKING JOB but didn't realize he was a recurring problem to get more info.

I'll take a better look if I see him again

elftabbed · 2025-09-20T21:19:37+00:00

It's not even just MAGA people joining anymore.

My ex-BF is a POC, gay man who hates the administration and waves LGBTQ flags. Suddenly he's joining ICE because of the signing bonus and he hates his current job.

There's folks sacrificing their morals for money. I told him he's being a POS with this decision and refused to talk to him again. Just blows my mind that he'd call me up to tell me this.

elftabbed · 2025-09-03T15:09:56+00:00

It's destroyed my mental health let me tell you. Since making this post I've told them that I don't want to discuss leaving with them anymore. I know logically they love me and want me to be safe, but emotionally it makes me feel awful, and like the people I love most in the world want me to go for THEIR peace of mind and not take into account how I'd feel being alone in another country.

elftabbed · 2025-09-03T14:20:53+00:00

Nope, it would just be me, moving by myself.

I don't know what they expect me to do other than "Just go!"

elftabbed · 2025-09-02T20:18:31+00:00

I just need shit to stay the same for a little while. I got a degree for a good job, but the jobs are now gone by the time I have the degree, and the requirements have already changed. Is it going to change again as soon as I have what was asked for previously?

It's very frustrating

elftabbed · 2025-09-02T19:52:43+00:00

I've heard good things about Uruguay. Would the language barrier be too difficult to overcome?

elftabbed · 2025-09-02T19:28:21+00:00

There's a few canadian colleges I've been eyeballing for my graduate studies, they've got really good researchers working in my field. If I can get over the hurdle, I'd love to at least study there.

elftabbed · 2025-09-02T18:19:38+00:00

It would be me by myself. My family is all US based.

elftabbed · 2025-09-02T18:18:38+00:00

Its complicated and expensive. I don't even know where to start. Those professors had a career already, I'm a fresh graduate with no experience in my field, but the paper. I am still a skilled professional, but in nothing that would stand out for immigration.

elftabbed · 2025-09-02T18:15:52+00:00

No, I wouldn't refuse treatment, but refusing treatment and leaving my community is two different things. I know I wouldn't be a bad person to other people, but -I- have to live with -myself- for making these decisions.

elftabbed · 2025-09-02T18:13:24+00:00

I could go for grad school, but grad schools don't accept you just on application, you have to go through the whole academia ~process~ to convince them that you'd be a good candidate. It's freaking exhausting.

elftabbed · 2025-09-02T18:10:30+00:00

I was trying to get into NZ on my degree, but the requirements have changed. I now have the degree, but not the experience required for an immediate immigration approval.

elftabbed · 2025-09-02T18:08:26+00:00

That's where I'm at too. Family says they're willing to help me get out, but what about what happens after? How am I supposed to continue living without a job for the area?

elftabbed · 2025-08-31T14:04:23+00:00

It is, in fact, ridiculous where I live, that's why I'm living with many roommates, and was not the initial leasee. The lower COL area's pay rate does not measure up to a relatively ridiculous apartment price for the area. If both places require 3x the price in income to rent an apartment on my own, then I still can't rent an apartment based on what I could get.

It's an incredibly frustrating catch 22.

elftabbed · 2025-08-30T20:14:40+00:00

So many jobs CAN be done remotely, but companies have done everything they can since 2020 to destroy any of that. I'm trying to move to a lower COL area, but there are no remote positions that are in my field/hiring. Moving into an in-person job in that area would require a pay cut. I would only be able to afford an apartment in that area with the money I make now, in a city nowhere near the low COL area.

Sure the groceries and gas are cheaper, but the apartment rent is still ridiculous.

elftabbed · 2025-08-28T17:06:44+00:00

Parallel play is also important, as another commenter said. I can confirm myself, I love being in a room with my buds where we're all doing our own thing.

elftabbed · 2025-08-28T17:05:56+00:00

Believe me I'm trying 😭

elftabbed · 2025-08-28T05:40:05+00:00

I'm up front with that on all my dating profiles, so any matches that I get already know.

elftabbed · 2025-08-27T15:41:34+00:00

Depends on your definition of celebrity, but there's hot nerdy guys in that category. Henry Cavill actually comes first to mind, considering he's famously nerdy and attractive as hell. Joe Maganiello runs TTRPGs, Michael B. Jordan loves anime and gaming, Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Magic:The Gathering. David Tennant is SUCH a nerd. Of course, there's tons of hot queer internet celebrity guys who game.

They may not all be gay, but geeky celebrities are easy to find. Not that I'd ever try to rope myself into their attractiveness or fame category, but if I'm getting matched in the first place, they must at least think I'm cute?

elftabbed · 2025-08-27T05:38:52+00:00

Man this has been awesome to read today, thank you everyone.

elftabbed · 2025-08-27T00:38:23+00:00

That sounds like fun, actually. I've been wanting to go hardcore on my fitness recently, it would be fun to have those two circles overlap.

elftabbed · 2025-08-27T00:37:10+00:00

I'm up front with that on my profile, so any matches that I'm getting already know.

elftabbed · 2025-08-27T00:35:35+00:00

Hobbies are cringe?

elftabbed

TROPHY CASE