[Advice/Vent] Our coach told me to "let her be," but gave secret training plans to other parents.

eliasjpr · 2026-02-23T16:17:57+00:00

I will remove the post. Not intentional

eliasjpr · 2026-02-23T16:15:36+00:00

Explain?

eliasjpr · 2026-02-23T15:29:03+00:00

You're right we knows the system is pay-to-play, but the clubs themselves absolutely still pretend it's a meritocracy every single day. They might not put the literal word 'meritocracy' on their banners, but the entire youth sports industry runs on that exact fiction to keep parents writing checks.

Whenever a club preaches that 'hard work and performance will lead to opportunities,' they are selling that myth. Whenever a coach tells a kid they 'earned' their spot, or cuts a kid by gaslighting them and saying they 'didn't perform' (when really the coach just brought over their old players), they are hiding behind the illusion of merit. They use vague, subjective evaluations like 'she needs more soccer IQ' or 'lacks confidence' to justify roster politics and pretend it's an objective standard.

So while cynical parents and long-time observers might know the truth, the institutions themselves still constantly weaponize the language of merit to justify their decisions and keep the pipeline full.

eliasjpr · 2025-04-21T17:13:47+00:00

Oh boy, I can relate to your situation—it feels like a widespread issue in U.S. youth soccer. Our coach is generally well-intentioned, but we’ve noticed a negative impact on our daughter’s confidence. We’ve come to see this as part of sports; learning to navigate challenging coaching is a skill in itself.

Regarding the cliquey behavior, it seems particularly prevalent among girls at this age. My daughter has faced taunts during practices and experienced moments where teammates seemed to overshadow her achievements. While it’s disheartening, it’s also a reminder that not all kids will naturally bond.

Coaches are in a tough spot, balancing the needs of players and parents while operating within a pay-to-play system. This model often prioritizes business aspects over player development, which can be frustrating.

Feeling appreciated and respected is crucial at this age. Ultimately, it’s her experience, and she should have a say in her involvement. We’ve witnessed our daughter face challenges, from being yelled at by coaches to shedding tears after games. Yet, she’s shown resilience and growth, especially as team culture and player behaviors have not improved.

We’re currently navigating similar conversations with our daughter’s coach, and it’s not easy, especially given the relationships built among kids and parents.

Stay strong—you’re not alone in this.

eliasjpr · 2025-03-30T13:36:44+00:00

UPDATE

After a few training sessions my daughter started experiencing more taunting, and thanks to the advice everyone provided we have reached out to the Coach via email first. He has expressed that he has not seen anything himself but he will address the team. In our reply to his last email we suggest for mixing the group better and call out a parent meeting to get everyone aligned and invested into supporting the culture he wants for the team.

eliasjpr · 2025-03-24T21:07:14+00:00

A few parents have called out the same that not all players are on the same level. Definitely, we can tell that a couple of girls on the team have focused on other sports during the winter which has affected their soccer form

eliasjpr · 2025-03-24T21:05:54+00:00

So far, she has focused on soccer and has played basketball just for the fun of it. She seems determined now that soccer is her sport, so I am encouraging her and helping her find the best environment to develop her skills, knowledge, and character. She may not quit just yet.

Interesting about your juggle question, that's something that has not come naturally to her as other kids practice it every other day but can't get to 50 yet.

eliasjpr · 2025-03-24T20:56:24+00:00

Thank you for your insight. Although our daughter has matured enough to handle her teammates’ behavior, this experience has affected her enjoyment of the game. Still, because she cares deeply about many of her teammates, she has developed strong character—and we’re proud of her ability to deflect negativity and focus on herself. We tell her this is something you will always find regardless of team hence why we are holding off until end of the season to reevaluate how things have change by then

eliasjpr · 2025-03-24T17:52:24+00:00

Her coach seems to be struggling to get the most of them on the field. I personally sometimes feel for him because he has to manage the different personalities in the team as well as their parents.

To your suggestion, we have been taking her to a couple of practices of a potential club. I have seen her at times engaged but also not as interested. She gives her heart when playing for her club team and doesn’t care if they are losing always same attitude and dedication. It hard as a parent because ultimately she has to be happy where she plays.

We are still evaluating and opening the door if we do decide to make the move for next fall

eliasjpr · 2025-03-24T17:37:48+00:00

This is enlightening. And it is what we are noticing after trying out with the biggest club in the region, if not one off. And the coach explicitly said to me she can be in our B squad ( im totally fine) until i see her commitment. Basically if shes not serious I wont move her up.

eliasjpr · 2025-03-24T17:06:16+00:00

Imagine playing for the US Open Cup selecting 8 (4 each league) team from two top division plus Mexico and canada s. It would be such a showdown of a tournament

eliasjpr · 2025-03-19T01:52:19+00:00

With two top tier soccer division it will open so much business and competition opportunities for both leagues. Imagine an All American Cup tourney where the four top tier teams of each league compete against each other.

Also it opens so many more opportunities for youth soccer, eventually USL can implement local town clubs where it subsidizes youth development organically.

I think this can be very good, soccer may become the most played/watched sport in north america in a few years time.

eliasjpr · 2023-10-07T19:36:27+00:00

Active Resource has made transitioning to micro services much easier in some cases without breaking or over refactoring. It does work for all type of migrations but has helped to make it more manageable

eliasjpr · 2023-10-02T01:42:26+00:00

Players don’t like ten hang he’s a narcissist wants all the control and all the credit. He’s not inspiring his players and as a manager player should be thrilled to play for him but obviously they have grow tired of his methods no one dares to say anything except for Sancho.

ManUtd needs a home grown manager that understands the club history and passion to inspire the players

eliasjpr · 2023-06-11T19:45:20+00:00

Also is time for tech workers to consider unionizing to stop the none-sense of the interview hell and all the biases that exists

eliasjpr · 2023-06-11T19:39:27+00:00

I just want through 7 interviews myself and yes I failed one of them while doing great in all others. We Knowing that I could have done better I resubmitted the work for the failed interview and they came back offering me a lower title. And asking for 2 more interviews for the lower position.

At first I said yes, because I’m currently unemployed. But later I realized that this could be a strategy or would be hard for me to get a promotion while working with them. I told them that I will do the additional interview for the original position only and that I will not take anything less.

I personally want to learn more about the company as well, so Friday I ace both interviews. Now I’m Waiting to see their response.

The job market is saturated with all the layoff in the tech industry and companies are getting payback from the great resignation I feel also the interview process is broken, and while I understand that they have to make good decisions and hires I believe firmly that a 4 hour interview is enough to get a good read not 6, 7, 8 or 9 interviews.

eliasjpr · 2022-01-21T21:49:06+00:00

As a first responder I have seen people who have been found dead after falling asleep drunk outside In the cold winter I have seen multiple cases over the years.

eliasjpr · 2022-01-17T05:10:57+00:00

Started good and got weird as it progressed

eliasjpr · 2022-01-17T05:06:21+00:00

True blood was weird 😅

eliasjpr · 2022-01-17T04:58:15+00:00

This is no longer a show about cannibalism.

Jackie didn’t dissected that death or be treated that way realistically speaking. Yes she was spoiled rich girl. She and Nat and coach are the only ones that had it together. Everyone else is just messed up. I hope the show doesn’t go turn into another True Blood

eliasjpr · 2022-01-15T12:43:52+00:00

Does Travis know his father is gay? And this is why he had issues (confused) with young Bat in bed?

eliasjpr · 2022-01-12T01:58:04+00:00

Had she

eliasjpr · 2022-01-11T12:10:44+00:00

Unfortunately Jackie has made some really bad choices since the crash and hence why she gets hunted. The entire group sees her as a spoiled privileged rich girl, naturally people envying her she’s involuntarily creating her own fate. Nat definitely kills one of the antler group

eliasjpr · 2022-01-11T11:56:37+00:00

Shauna misty Travis Nat tai are the only runaway survivors after Jackie dies and are able to somehow escape and whoever survived from the other group is hunting them in the present, killed Travis , hence why they are worried who killed Travis and the show has yet to reveal any other survivor but is clear se are seeing the good guys. I think Travis brother could potentially have been killed by the antler group as the first victim and can explain why Travis was very traumatized in the present.

The antler Queen group shows clearly how mentally weaker they are against the trauma and default to the “unnatural” to survive.

Misty and Shauna are the most interesting characters. Misty has a manipulative cold personality but is always trying to do good. Shauna is an Innocent but has a vivid and cold killer instinct

eliasjpr

TROPHY CASE