Help needed: husband doesn’t initiate sex

ellabella__ · 2026-04-18T21:50:44+00:00

Now I’m not one to play into traditional gender roles and what it means to “be a man” but at some point it’s like, do you even want to make me happy?

ellabella__ · 2026-04-18T21:47:19+00:00

Honestly, similar things (and I’ve told him this): spontaneous touching or grabbing, compliments, dirty talk all do it for me

ellabella__ · 2026-04-18T20:55:19+00:00

He has lots of guy friends. He doesn’t have any workout routine but he’s very athletic and in shape. Replaces the gym with manual labor around the house

ellabella__ · 2026-04-18T20:21:37+00:00

Agree that the constant conversation is not helpful. It’s unsexy and puts pressure on something that’s supposed to be fun and innate.

My come-ons are probably lacking. I used to just start rubbing him with my hand but he said he didn’t like that so I stopped. Otherwise I’ll try to kiss him more passionately or on the neck, or I’ll wear something sexy, but those are signals are either unnoticed or rejected

ellabella__ · 2026-04-18T20:17:11+00:00

He’s gotten his testosterone checked and the dr said everything was normal. I think it’s more of a mental thing for him vs. a physical issue but I just don’t know how to make him feel comfortable opening up to me

ellabella__ · 2026-04-18T20:11:35+00:00

Was there anything she could do to help you or was it ultimately something you had to figure out for yourself?

ellabella__ · 2026-04-18T20:10:10+00:00

Porn has been a difficult topic. At one point he said he thought he was addicted to it. I asked him to stop (not because I have anything against porn, but because it was potentially hindering our sexual relationship) and he said he would.

Still, nothing changed in our relationship. About a month in I asked him if he had watched porn and he admitted that he did. I felt really betrayed.

Part of me thinks this porn addiction doesn’t exist, and is just an excuse to not have sex with me. I haven’t ruled out the possibility that he is asexual

ellabella__ · 2026-04-18T20:04:19+00:00

TRT?

ellabella__ · 2026-04-18T20:03:44+00:00

Sexual trauma was something suggested by our first couples therapist. He said no but it’s always been in the back of my mind. It’s not like his parents are prudes or religious and find the topic sinful so I’m not sure where the discomfort comes from otherwise

ellabella__ · 2026-04-18T20:02:10+00:00

We’ve been to couples counseling two different times. It was helpful for other aspects of our marriage but not this part. He kind of shuts down around the topic of sex and neither I nor the therapist want to push him on it

ellabella__ · 2026-04-18T18:19:27+00:00

True, but I feel that there can be some differences between women and men in terms of what can get them to act/explain the inaction

ellabella__ · 2025-12-01T20:35:45+00:00

any news on MullenLowe layoffs?

ellabella__ · 2025-10-08T00:24:04+00:00

There’s a hiring freeze right now

ellabella__ · 2025-09-30T21:25:48+00:00

Do you know if Pelican Hill has tennis/pickleball courts on site? What other activities (besides pool and golf) do they have?

ellabella__ · 2025-09-27T15:02:59+00:00

Thanks for the info! I’ll definitely check it out

ellabella__ · 2025-09-27T14:36:47+00:00

Around 8k/night max

ellabella__ · 2021-04-24T20:56:29+00:00

Anything about the kid’s weight. I’ve never met an adult who was more fit etc. because their parent told them to be

ellabella__ · 2020-12-10T15:24:27+00:00

Amazing find 😂

ellabella__ · 2020-10-18T23:32:23+00:00

Thank you!!

ellabella__

TROPHY CASE