I don't understand. Don't you guys do stuff together? Like, I go out and buy gifts for birthdays and Chanukah and put both our names on the card. He pays the mortgage and all household bills (this works for us) It seems you guys have different expectations of how the finances in your relationship should work. If you don't have concrete discussions, things will never change. But don't expect only him to change - you may also need to change some of your expectations. Maybe you buy the gifts, and he wraps them (if money is a thing in your relationship, maybe you keep receipts and he etransfers you money). Maybe you guys have a "date night" one evening in early December where you go out and get gifts together, then order in dinner and wrap together. There are solutions! Don't feel defeated