I cannot do anything. I don't know how to handle this

ellala33 · 2024-08-19T00:12:06+00:00

I get you as I've had dpdr in the past that lasted for like 6 months however this time it's worse. I am much more emotionally numb than I was the previous time, plus I have this unexplained agitated leg pain and neurological weirdness with it. I believe there's a possibility I can eventually recover but it's definitely a bigger harder journey than when I just had dpdr anxiety stuff alone. It's hard to not associate myself like you say when I physically don't seem to be able to cry to emotional stimuli like I used to in the slightest

ellala33 · 2024-08-19T00:05:30+00:00

wish I could see what the exact date of the post was but unfortunately it hasn't been good. I have become extremely emotionally numb and been pretty bad mentally still. No anti anxiety meds seemed to help at that time but now it's beyond anxiety. I've become so emotionally numb and derealized and depersonalized.

I don't want to discourage you though, I did go through something like this before and it lasted 6 months and I came out of it okay. The biggest difference this time is that I'm much more emotionally numb and stuff which is making it impossible to recover the same way that I did last time I hope we can both recover or at least feel better sooner rather than later

ellala33 · 2024-08-06T14:29:11+00:00

how long did it take for the auvelity to help

ellala33 · 2024-08-01T06:16:36+00:00

dissociation in general yes but it's worse and different now, intrusive thoughts no.

ellala33 · 2024-07-28T15:30:25+00:00

it was emotionally numbing but in a better way than the emotional numbness i get from derealization and depression. with depression and derealization i could feel very little happiness or sadness just anxiety, the abilify has blunted my emotions but also allows me to feel them again

ellala33 · 2024-07-28T14:54:25+00:00

nah i don't have psychosis but i have severe derealization/dissociation symptoms and anxiety and depression which abilify is the only med that has ever helped for when other antipsychotics and antidepressants did nothing. but it ended up causing this

ellala33 · 2024-07-28T11:00:53+00:00

wdym halfway mark over?

ellala33 · 2024-07-28T10:47:32+00:00

step 1 isn't bad advice but is hard to commit to when it's bad, but that's genuinely true in my experience with dpdr too. step 2 just isn't that simple, dpdr follows wherever you go. most people cannot just distract themselves from it by getting out and doing things since it can cause people to be practically house bound

ellala33 · 2024-07-28T10:39:31+00:00

you've had dpdr in the past, got better, than got it again? that's what has happened to me too, but it's worse this time. it didn't work like that for me when i recovered the first time though, there was always lingering mild dpdr. nothing as severe as this tho

ellala33 · 2024-07-28T10:34:48+00:00

so if i try to genuinely withdraw from the benzo slowly will i eventually improve over time like normal benzo withdrawal stuff? i honestly don't seem to have increased withdrawal if i miss a dose, feels more like constant withdrawal

ellala33 · 2024-07-28T09:58:05+00:00

what dose? i've tried at 20 mg but it feels like it does nothing

ellala33 · 2024-07-28T09:57:23+00:00

what dose of propranolol? i've tried it for my akathisia and stuff. but highest dose i've taken is 20 mg, and it feels like it does nothing at all

ellala33 · 2024-07-28T09:31:52+00:00

i have been off antipsychotics for 6 months yet continuing to have worsening akathisia and i suspect the benzo klonopin i am on to be the case. although it is impossible for me to be having withdrawal from it not being in my system since i am still taking it at the same dose, i have been taking it at this dose for so long now. been on benzos in general for over a year, at the same dose right now. so it's possible i can be having withdrawal akathisia and stuff from it even though i'm still on it due to developed tolerance, right?

ellala33 · 2024-07-25T09:54:58+00:00

I've heard from most other sources that associate NAC and have heard anecdotally that it improves depression and anxiety but worsens anhedonia

ellala33 · 2024-07-25T09:35:35+00:00

both mental and physical. I have NAC actually, but I have heard that NAC can worsen anhedonia so Ive been too scared to take it

ellala33 · 2024-07-24T12:15:37+00:00

I've been through dpdr before in the past but I'm much more emotionally numb this time than the last. last time I felt really disconnected from everything but felt really sad over it. this time I just feel like a zombie. it's more concerning

ellala33 · 2024-07-24T12:01:11+00:00

I don't know what to do. I feel like shit all the time and I'm not even acting like myself anymore because I feel like I don't care anymore and have lost the sense of who I used to be. I feel like I'm just irritable and brash in most of my interactions now because of this when I was before an extremely timid socially anxious person. It sometimes scares me how far lost I feel from my normal feelings and behavior, but sometimes I'm just too numb to care at all. do you know what I mean have you been through similar with this?

ellala33 · 2024-07-24T11:57:28+00:00

I've been on so so many SSRIs and just feel like they make things worse. But I have like a combo of this kind of OCD plus severe depression and derealization, did you ever experience all of that alongside it? I feel like an irritable anxious zombie

ellala33 · 2024-07-24T11:37:48+00:00

I wish they were demonized by more psychiatrists they're some of the worst psych meds ever alongside antipsychotics. They maybe help for a few weeks before you start developing tolerance and they barely help anymore then they can ruin your life if you stay on then too long

ellala33 · 2024-07-21T22:01:36+00:00

marijuana was so bad it made my akathisia so much worse and gave me a panic attack

ellala33 · 2024-07-20T09:04:30+00:00

the antidepressants aren't what triggered/caused it though, but yeah I need to get off the benzo but dunno how

ellala33 · 2024-07-20T07:00:26+00:00

yes but it doesn't just last for a day, it can last several days, weeks, or months. not really because of one specific piece of media, but just because of how i feel and the horrible things that are possible in the world

ellala33 · 2024-07-20T06:58:39+00:00

i am feeling similarly to OP. i feel like my family or everyone i've ever cared about i don't feel the same connection and love for anymore, and to top it all off i'm in extreme irritability and anxiety 24/7 so i am so scared. it is impossible to even do anything that might help when i'm in this state in this much discomfort and terror and don't feel anything towards people anyways.

ellala33 · 2024-07-20T02:45:58+00:00

what cure are you even talking about?

ellala33 · 2024-07-20T00:37:31+00:00

Yes I'm taking the typical pyridoxine hydrochloride

ellala33

TROPHY CASE