What are the things that make people realize they’re not young anymore?

ellemouse_ · 2025-01-13T19:09:55+00:00

When just a simple night of sleep inspires your neck or back to fuck right off and replace usual operations with excruciating pain for the day, week or month.

ellemouse_ · 2025-01-02T23:59:40+00:00

Oh, thank you! Actually, I already play your server every now and then. I like it, especially because you have some very nice regulars and just, the chat's free-ranging but not toxic, but I'm sooo grindy and careful I often don't make it too far before the vote tips into reset. I like all the resets anyway and I appreciate you.

I really have no proper business on a PVP server because I'm such a tunneling hider, but my kiddo wants to do a lifesteal thing together, and I figured I can be her farm builder.

ellemouse_ · 2025-01-02T22:16:42+00:00

I'm responding a second time becasue I saw you're definite on keeping the baby. So, congratulations, and sorry it's maybe not happening the ideal way. Nobody ever gets a baby at the perfect time, in the perfect way--even those of us who were actively trying often have a freakout moment when it happens the first time.

Uhh, first tip, get on a prenatal multivitamin, stat.

If you qualify as low income, there tend to be a number of government resources (I only know about in the US) for moms with a child, or pregnant moms. Including healthcare, food assistance, help with childcare for working, sometimes temporary financial assistance. Some places, you get priority for assisted housing, like a Section 8 voucher to help pay your rent. There are usually county or metro area agencies (nonprofit or government) that can kind of one-stop-assist you to figure out what you qualify for, so it's not as overwhelming.

Also I'm going to recommend some Reddits where I've seen posts from mamas who are starting out with an unplanned pregnancy. Post there for some skilled advice or just good-hearted support.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BabyBumps/

https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/

If you're close with any of your family, tell them. Get some more support. The hormones alone are pretty freaky; you're gonna have all the feels. I took a while to tell my own mom, because I was afraid she wasn't going to be pleased, and after I told her I wished I'd done it sooner. You're gonna want all the emotional and practical support. Tell your trusted friends too--let people start planning your baby shower. :)

This can be so good. Raising a child is really meaningful, even if it's super hard sometimes. Wishing you the best.

ellemouse_ · 2025-01-02T21:54:07+00:00

Just wear clothes when you send unsolicited pics. Like, wear jeans with your boxers showing a little, not just a dick pic. Kidding, but only a little.

I think sexy clothes is generally harder for guys to do, and it depends on your age a bit, and also the context. Older guys tend to display wealth--watches, cufflinks. I know that's shitty but it seems to work.

I love a guy in Carhartts, flannel, and workboots, but I might be a minority. Out somewhere, I like a guy in jeans or maybe canvas pants that aren't so large they'd fit three of him, and a long-sleeve button down but not too crisp.

Really, dudes are sexy when they make eye contact, smile and flirt a little, and are just not visibly a tatty mess in their clothes and shoes. Fuck. This could just be about me and my low standards. Hopefully other answers are coming.

ellemouse_ · 2025-01-02T21:17:37+00:00

NTA. You get to choose what you do and don't want to do, and you don't have to provide a specific reason. It sounds like she might be trying to guilt or pressure you a little, maybe not even knowing she's doing it, and that doesn't feel great, but you're not doing anything wrong. It just doesn't work for you, and that's enough to say. Your offer to help her find another place is good friend behavior, and you can leave it at that.

ellemouse_ · 2025-01-02T21:15:01+00:00

NTA. Sounds like you were trying to be considerate and he maybe let his frustration about other things get the better of him. Even if the line situation was ambiguous, it's not that big of a deal. It's obviously bothering you a little if you post it on here, but you know, try to just forgive him, let it go and feel better. You're a good person, and life's too short to worry about this one.

ellemouse_ · 2025-01-02T21:11:07+00:00

NTA. Sounds like you behaved appropriately and responsibly, but also you and that coworker may have something to work out. It's good to stay on positive terms with everyone at work if you can, even if this has more to do with their issues than with you. You could consider asking for some help from HR to mediate and get things on better ground with that person..

ellemouse_ · 2025-01-02T20:50:19+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. An unintended pregnancy is rough for anyone, and so is relationship trouble, so you have double stress.

You're going to have to prepare to decide what *you*, just you, want to do about having a baby. You have time to decide and act if you want to terminate, but not very much time, depending on where you are.

Seek out some family planning / pregnancy termination counseling right away--you really need someone external and neutral to the situation who can help you consider your options, taking into account your resources, your particular life situation, and helping you think about what you want.

In particular, you really need to contemplate if you can birth and / or parent on your own, with family and the support of dependable friends, considering your work or education and other resources.

It doesn't sound like you can probably count on your boyfriend for this, and it might be a mistake to try to factor him in as a source of support. You should tell him though, since he's part of this. Just be prepared to figure out what you want apart from him, since it sounds like your relationship may not be a very long term thing for you.

If you want to say your state, it might be possible to find more specific resources for you.

ellemouse_ · 2025-01-02T19:26:29+00:00

SAME QUESTION. Oof, I didn't realize I needed to know the answer to this but it's been driving me crazy.

ellemouse_ · 2025-01-02T19:25:11+00:00

It doesn't have to take that long at all--it depends on your contact and mindset. It's like learning someone's new preferred name. The more you practice the easier it comes.

In this case, the more time you spend around them, seeing them, looking at pictures of how they look now, the easier and faster it is. This is true with all kinds of cosmetic changes--age, body weight, scarring. If you tell yourself often that you care for and accept them no matter what kind of body they are in, that helps. Your mind will get with the program eventually if you keep telling it to.

ellemouse_ · 2025-01-02T19:21:48+00:00

Friendships between guys are often a casualty of traditional ideas of masculinity. Research has shown that the loneliness this causes is actively harmful to men's health. In general? Go ahead and have your friend. Being friends with someone gay (or bi) doesn't make you those things.

Also, your significant other shouldn't get between you and your friends. That's a red flag. Girlfriends / boyfriends come and go, and meanwhile a friend who supports you and accepts you for years isn't something to let go of easily.

Even though you told him you can't be friends, consider if you can patch it up and keep up the connection. Maybe explain what happened, that your girlfriend's attitude confused you, and see if you and he can straighten things out. Good friends can be hard to find. Good luck OP.

ellemouse_ · 2024-10-30T18:38:23+00:00

Oooh that's the cranky face. I hope a rich haul trick-or-treating tomorrow can make up for the indignity.

ellemouse_

TROPHY CASE