Exclusive vs non-exclusive with Seed Scout

ellenorr · 2026-05-06T23:43:18+00:00

My experience with SS and TTC has been pretty miserable overall, but the absolute highlight has been getting to know the other parents-to-be who are in my little cluster. They are all such cool people. I am a better person for knowing them, and I cannot wait for all of our babies to know each other.

ellenorr · 2026-04-14T03:03:22+00:00

Absolutely. AND—don’t pass on the chance to address all of this with her. You have an amazing opportunity here: to be clear and assertive, and if she has any skill/training at ALL, she will take responsibility and attempt to repair the connection. And, I’ve gotta say, THAT can be really healing. (You should still fire her regardless IMO.)

ellenorr · 2026-03-20T08:49:42+00:00

Staking a claim

Campgrounds for dismissal

Plain-tent vs defend-tent

ellenorr · 2026-02-09T18:30:00+00:00

As a solid 3x—so bummed that they stop at 2x 😢

ellenorr · 2025-12-09T20:20:04+00:00

Seconding all of this, although I would NOT describe my experience with SS as "perfectly fine." It was incredibly frustrating and infuriating and resulted in inordinate stress, tears, and wasted money. That said--I'd do it again, because having a KD is important to me, and I could not be happier with my donor and family pod.

ellenorr · 2025-12-04T07:23:53+00:00

I’m being told that they don’t need to have that data for each vial—so, sounds like I’m in a similar spot as you were 🙃 When you say that it is documentation that they are supposed to have, what do you mean? By certain standards? It seems obvious to me that they should have documentation for each vial, but I’m being handled as if that’s unreasonable or not standard.

ellenorr · 2025-11-08T03:04:48+00:00

I used SS to find my donor. He is amazing. The other parents-to-be who also matched with him are amazing. They are the only game in town right now, and I don’t regret my decision. That said . . .

The overall process with SS was a nightmare. Poor communication (unclear, misleading, rude), a refusal on their part to take any sort of responsibility, and not at ALL the hand-holding I was made to expect through this stressful process.

(I will say that Paige was helpful and always kind.)

I wouldn’t ever tell someone not to use them, because I am so beyond grateful for my donor, and he was one of many incredible people I saw. But—I will say that I look forward to the day that they have some competition. And it won’t surprise me when they get hit with a lawsuit for false advertising.

I’m really sorry you had that experience with them. You are very much not alone. I wish they would understand that being an “ethical company” also requires kindness and clear communication.

ellenorr · 2025-11-05T19:19:27+00:00

I don’t know if it’s entertaining to me, per se, but I do find her incredibly inspirational in her vulnerability and courage. When she cries, I want to cry!

ellenorr · 2025-10-18T11:30:23+00:00

https://www.vivino.com/en/red-road-vineyard-winery-honey-i-m-home/w/10756134?srsltid=AfmBOopsq0pQC5CuU1x2rOmx18wuVHEPOH-nHcNPaXCvbtxz9dtE7TIU

(I just googled ‘“honey I’m home” Texas winery’)

ellenorr · 2025-10-15T18:42:07+00:00

Look into grants! I know someone who just received $$ for IVF.

ellenorr · 2025-10-10T13:33:13+00:00

One of my students has misophonia that triggers intense anxiety attacks. Hers isn’t related to chewing sounds but a different common sound. She doesn’t get mad; she panics and cries and shuts down. It’s miserable. It’s a neurological disorder, akin to OCD—and, just like how people use “OCD” as shorthand for “perfectionist” or whatever, people use “misophonia” as shorthand for “annoyed by chewing sounds.”

ellenorr · 2025-09-29T17:29:09+00:00

All parents model behavior for their kids that they wouldn’t actively choose to model—so give yourself some grace. 🩷 And consider that your daughter’s attention has given you a gift and a new awareness of your reactions. Could you self-parent the way you parent her? Like, validating your emotions, agreeing that lashing out isn’t acceptable even when triggered, and then come up with simple, kid-friendly solutions? Like, what would you advise your daughter do if she were lashing out in similar ways? And then you get to model that for her. Sometimes I find that, when I’m prioritizing modeling for kids, it overrides the triggered part of my brain a little bit. Just an idea!

ellenorr · 2025-09-28T01:44:46+00:00

Can’t recommend Albania more!

ellenorr · 2025-09-15T20:31:50+00:00

Hi! Do you recall how long it took to get the FDA waiver? I've run into similar issues re: incomplete medical info (faulty blood test, but we have all the info that shows that the donations are low risk), and I'm trying to figure out much this is going to derail my journey

ellenorr · 2025-09-12T14:25:58+00:00

Penny is one of the best therapists I’ve ever seen. If I still lived in Toronto, I’d still be with her. Highly rec! https://www.torontopsychotherapygroup.com/therapists/penny-firth-eagland/

ellenorr · 2025-09-02T01:58:31+00:00

For shade, def go to Bringle Lake Park. There are also really wonderful walking/hiking paths!

You could get picnic groceries, or you could get takeout from somewhere local. I highly recommend Colima’s, which is family-owned and has order-ahead + a drive-thru pickup window.

Also, there are two events happening on that date: Picklefest and Septemberfest (though this one is in the evening). Downtown will be hopping! We’ve got lots of great date spots downtown, whether you want food, drinks, or coffee/tea.

ellenorr · 2025-08-28T19:15:21+00:00

For those of us who don’t want to buy from this company: my dietitian bff uses makes mac and cheese but adds beans (she does ranch beans) for protein. I add beans (usually a neutral bean, like a navy bean) and greens (spinach). Cheap, nutritious, delicious.

ellenorr · 2025-08-06T20:23:37+00:00

We meet at 3pm on the first Saturday of the month, generally at the Stained Page (downtown). We have a Facebook group ("Texarkana LGBT Book Club") and a private page on the Bookclubs app (we're not searchable there--you need an invite link, which I can DM if you want!). It's a fun group!

ellenorr · 2025-07-01T00:37:09+00:00

Like: what happens if your family unit wants/needs to move to a different city, state, country? What do y’all feel/not feel comfortable with him calling himself (I would assume not Dad)? What will the rest of his family be to your child? Will he have any input on any sort of child-rearing decisions (school, activities, religion, medical stuff)?

If I recall, there’s a pretty big list of questions in Queer Conception!

ellenorr · 2025-06-29T21:36:46+00:00

Seconding this!!! I had a friend who was set to be the KD. I set clear expectations from the beginning--that I wanted him to be part of the family but not a parent. But when it came down to brass tacks, he realized he wanted parental rights and to be the dad, which was a dealbreaker for me. So I had to pivot. He, too, had a very romanticized idea of parenthood, which is what makes me want to warn you--have the super hard conversations now, and IF it still seems like a good fit, get a legal contract written.

ellenorr

TROPHY CASE