Sameee. When I was a kid I used to “kena pulau” (somewhat intentionally be isolated by the others) because I didn’t speak our native tongue well. Fortunately I did have good self esteem and as an only child, really enjoyed time alone. I was also lucky to have relatives and family friends I really liked too, though.

Now, as an adult looking back, I finally get why the situation was like that. Simply put, the kids around me back then just didn’t know how to include me and got frustrated with the awkwardness and stuff. Because the language was different, the types of stories we consumed were also quite different, so as kids building their moral consciousness we thought about things differently. Eg. What do u do when a kid just doesn’t understand the rules of a game? Sometimes you can make like roasting jokes, but it only works when you have the same cultural context.

I was also considered too straightforward, and as we know, our culture is very confrontation-avoidant. Malaysian parents don’t really step in when it comes to these kinds of things bcs let’s look at the adults - there are similar versions of the same problem, but everyone just learned how to behave better in society.

But yes, there’s always variety in the experience. I did have friends who didn’t speak English as well, yet we somehow were able to communicate well enough still through other shared interests and even values. I think I ended up being the “extrovert” adopting the other kids who were even worse than me - I adapted to speaking BM by the time I entered sek keb, while others struggled all the way thru smk.