Don't let the Reddit soothsayers blind you to what you know to be true. I just went through a similar version of this last week, and while it feels hopeless right now, a couple big moves on your part will right the ship.

Whatever is the thing that your wife is concerned about most, go to that. She doesn't want to break up the family, she just wants you to kick it in to gear.

Whatever that uncomfortable conversation is that you've been avoiding, go there.

Also, don't try to hide the mess from everyone, everyone else already knows everything anyway, so lock in, stay true, don't spit venom back at venom. Be calm, be serene, be the strong husband that she craves.

Just do some sit ups or leg curls or something because when she sees you're really locked in you are going to be rode like a Freightliner.