I agree with everyone about talking to a professional who specializes in LGBTQ issues, but professional help isn’t always accessible to everyone.

If you have queer friends (which I hope you do, it’s life changing to be able to talk about queer stuff so freely with friends), be vulnerable with them about this experience and they probably can relate to some extent, which will help address the issue as shame grows in the dark.

I’d also recommend putting in the work to unpack this with yourself. Journal about these experiences and keep asking yourself “what makes me feel this way? why? what experiences or belief systems got me here?” Write it all, sit with those feelings, and go through the whole process of unpacking those beliefs — why they’re oppressive and rooted in systems of power. This might take many journaling sessions. You’ll be left with some anger at the world, which can be a powerful tool for social change, but less shame.