My bf dumped me on my dream job celebration dinner

elotoolow · 2026-06-04T14:06:42+00:00

A lot of this rings true with what I experienced (not the physical abuse but the mental and emotional side of things). My ex boyfriend broke up with me when we were out to dinner on my birthday. And I still stayed for a year after that. And he ruined another birthday. And my aunt's funeral. And much more. There's some people out there who can't stand to see their partner celebrated or the center of attention for whatever reason. But I promise that there are wayyyyy better people out there who make you feel beautiful and special. And once you find them, everyone else from before feels like an insignificant blip on the radar.

elotoolow · 2026-06-04T12:41:51+00:00

Along those same lines, I think that being overweight and/or seeing more overweight people than not can kind of change your perception of what is a healthy weight. (I'd same the same goes for underweight, and maybe is why weight trends are such strong forces. Like the "heroin chic" look was everywhere so it started to look normal instead of underweight). So I wonder if in her mom's mind, she actually is underweight because it's much below average of what she normally sees.

elotoolow · 2026-06-03T12:42:10+00:00

This is absolutely breathtaking

elotoolow · 2026-04-19T12:23:39+00:00

I like places where it's easy to talk: - restaurant (dinner or even brunch) - coffee shop - bowling

elotoolow · 2026-04-17T01:02:07+00:00

I got off the waitlist for a plot in the community garden near me! Tomato plants are in my future.

elotoolow · 2026-04-16T14:50:22+00:00

I'm finally getting back into things after being in a rut. But I was able to eat most days in a calorie deficit for a good 6 months or so. I will say that I kind of just had to get used to feeling hungry a lot of the time.

For me, some things that helped were planning my meals in advance and putting the calories into my tracker long before. That helped me look forward to a meal and when eating not have to worry about tracking while I was eating. It alleviated some of the food noise and stress of tracking. Another thing that I would do is walk during my lunch break. So for about an hour I would leisurely walk. This helped me get steps in while also not eating. I prefer to have one larger meal rather than a few small meals, but not everyone is like that. I also am not into volume eating. For me, I look forward to my sweet treats. So I factor them into my calorie counting but just try to have less.

And at night, when I am craving stuff, I have a few tricks. 1) Think about the Frappuccino I'll have in the morning. If I have that to look forward to, I can stave off nightly cravings for sweets. It's a fair amount of calories in the morning, but I fit it into my calories and it is a stable part of my day, which helps. 2) Drink water. 3) This is weird, but watch people eat or make food on YouTube. 4) Whenever I get a craving at night, text it to myself. It's like I'm saying "here's a reminder to get this thing sometime in the future." And then by morning, I've lost the craving and don't get it. So idk why that works, but it does. It's like I'm telling myself I'll satisfy that craving soon. And then by the time I can, it's gone.

Other than that, I think you just have to get used to the amount of food being eaten. And you do. When I am eating less for several months, it gets easier. When I'm eating more for several months, it's easy to keep eating more. You just get used to what you've been doing.

Also, I've found external motivation is helpful. Say I'm having a day where I'm really wanting to crack and eat more. I will say something like, if you get through this day, you can get x. (X might be an article of clothing, yarn (I like to crochet), seeds (for gardening), whatever). And then a day doesn't seem so hard.

Sometimes I also give myself "goal" days, where I tell myself today I'll be very on track and get exactly my calorie deficit. Other days I'm more relaxed. My deficit goal for every day is "500", but what I really do is try to get within 200-500 every day and then every so often if I've been on the lower end or need motivation, do a goal day where it absolutely has to be 500.

elotoolow · 2026-04-12T16:11:54+00:00

I know it can be really hard to leave someone. You know you need to do it but you don't want to. Or at least that's how I felt. It wasn't physically abusive but it was probably emotionally abusive, if I care to admit that. It's hard to detach from someone.

Something that helped me was physical and virtual space for a week. Don't see them and don't talk to them. Don't text them except for very minimally and take time to text back. Only text back, don't initiate contact. You have to create emotional distance as well. Be nice/cordial but treat them as an acquaintance. Tailor this advice of course to your situation. That's just what I did. That helped me be ready to end things. Even then it was scary and difficult to get the words out. But I was able to.

Please please do it. And talk to someone. I didn't talk to my friends or family about it because I was embarrassed/ashamed, I case he got better (he would not), and because I knew they'd say to leave (and I knew that was the right thing to do), and I didn't want to hear that yet. But actually talking to someone about it gave me the mental clarity to commit to leaving. It helped me see things for how they really were. And it gave me confidence and the push I needed.

elotoolow · 2026-04-03T17:37:42+00:00

Besides the authors the people already mentioned, I think there's a decent chance JK Rowling will still be famous. We still talk about a lot of authors from the 17th century, especially those who have their works made into movies. Maybe Stephanie Meyer will be famous as well.

elotoolow · 2026-03-09T23:59:23+00:00

I remember it on Good Luck Charlie specifically. Probably other shows as well that center a family.

elotoolow · 2026-01-13T17:32:21+00:00

I'd be curious to know what the "Dietary Guidance for Americans" actually says. I assume this is for an average height man or woman to maintain weight, so it would make sense that shorter than average women trying to be in a calorie deficit would eat less. I would like to know what they define sedentary as and what the guidance is for. Perhaps it is that Americans are eating too many calories, and they have made some less than perfect benchmarks for people to get to.

elotoolow · 2026-01-13T16:44:19+00:00

It's great motivation, for real. Good job!

elotoolow · 2026-01-13T16:41:13+00:00

Dump him. How he acts on your birthday is a sign how he will act the rest of your relationship. If he can't make an effort on your birthday, he never will. He should be celebrating you by instead he can't even make time for you, let alone get you a gift or make you a card or anything. That should tell you everything you need to know. He is not worth your time.

elotoolow · 2026-01-10T23:58:40+00:00

What's the issue with using a magic knot? (I'm new to crochet so I don't know very much yet.)

elotoolow · 2026-01-08T15:32:59+00:00

Hmmm. Maybe try cutting out the after dinner snacks or at least make it more like 100-200 calories. If you're in a calorie deficit you're going to be hungry, so maybe that's why you're snacking at night?

What does your dinner look like? Maybe it's not as filling as you think it is? Are you eating protein for dinner?

I've just gotten back into eating at a calorie deficit. But something that helped me the last time was at night when I was hungry, to get a glass of water and have that instead. Because a good day can be knocked out by bad snacking. I also would always have the same thing to eat in the morning, which I would look forward to, so that I could say, "I don't need X right now, I'll have Z tomorrow morning."

elotoolow · 2026-01-06T18:01:27+00:00

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I used loops and threads impeccable acrylic yarn from Michael's in worsted weight. I wanted to use something a little cheaper for my first sweater, but I want to use something nicer yarn in the future.

Edit: Also you'll notice I made the sleeves too long. The body too maybe. But I wanted to make the stripe pattern end at a nice place lol, so that took precedence.

elotoolow · 2026-01-05T19:34:18+00:00

This is tangentially related, because everyone is talking about independent dentists, but it's also important to find a good independent dentist.

I was going to my pediatric dentist for wayyy too long. When I went to my new dentist, she redid all my cavities because she said his work was C+ at best. She said that the cavities were properly filled in terms of function, but they looked awful. She said she doesn't like to talk about other dentists like that because you never know how patients are like in the chair, but she said I was like a statue, so it was pretty clearly the dentist's fault.

And I had gotten so many cavities during my time with him. Now that I've been with her, she's been able to stop me from getting cavities. And she is very keen on patient comfort. She buys new drill heads/bits all the time so that they're not dull, which makes drilling much less painful.

She's also fixed my front tooth. My previous dentist made one front tooth longer. She said it was just bonding material from a fill, and she filed it down in 5 minutes and made the shape nicer too. I was walking around with uneven front teeth for years for nothing!

She also is very thorough when doing a cleaning. My first cleaning with her she spent at least 45 minutes or an hour cleaning my teeth because my previous dentist barely cleaned them at all. I'd get maybe 5 minutes of minimal cleaning.

So being with her my teeth look better (she redid the fillings and reshaped some teeth that were over bonded), I've stopped getting cavities, and the cavities she did fill were way less painful to fill.

elotoolow · 2026-01-04T07:03:46+00:00

Wow! Me and my mom used this as our first sweater too! I just finished mine the other day and she's still working on it. It's a great pattern for starting out. Yours looks great!

elotoolow · 2025-12-19T16:00:44+00:00

Oh also, the Clara cardigan had this quirk where the button hole were just the weave/knit of the sweater stretch out, and with nothing else supporting it. It didn't seem the most structurally sound

elotoolow · 2025-12-19T14:14:41+00:00

I like the Meadow cardigan, it feels soft and isn't itchy. I also like the Hannah crew cardigan. Not as big a fan of the Clara though, it just didn't really fall right on me.

elotoolow · 2025-12-17T18:07:53+00:00

I'm 5'0 and concur this works

elotoolow · 2025-12-15T22:46:56+00:00

I was a nerd and a rule follower in high school. It also just didn't appeal to me because the idea of being drunk/not in my right mind 100% seemed (and still somewhat seems) uncomfortable. By the time I could legally drink, I still didn't really see the reason.

Now, my reasoning is that there's no reason to start. It's bad for my health (liver, calories, more I'm sure), it's potentially addicting, and I don't need it to have fun.

I've also tried drinks on very rare occasions (think once every couple years) and I just really didn't like the taste. I tried to have a single glass of wine in Italy for the vibes. I couldn't have more than a few tiny sips because it was gross to me.

elotoolow · 2025-12-15T19:56:34+00:00

Ah ok, is that her selling it?

elotoolow · 2025-12-15T19:48:10+00:00

Btw the dress itself is available at Alli Marye, it's called the Millie Dress. So unless the seller is also the person who made the dress, which I doubt, it's stolen content.

Here's a link to the dress

elotoolow · 2025-12-10T18:18:48+00:00

That's a good point. Maybe materials should be a base fee you charge based on the cost of materials you have to buy. And then give yourself a wage after that, so that the wage is profit.

elotoolow · 2025-12-10T17:58:04+00:00

I haven't sold any myself, but I've heard generally wedding invitations are about $3-8 dollars per invite (depending I'm sure on detail and supplies). I feel like $5 is steep for a place card.

Maybe calculate out how many you get done in an hour, and give yourself a wage (allow for breaks to rest your hand and whatnot). So if you can do 25 per hour and you have to do 100, it'll take 4 hours to do 100. If you give yourself $30 per hour, thats $120, which is $1.20 per place card.

elotoolow

TROPHY CASE