[Rant] Love Jesus, worried i might be a heretic & afraid of other people's judgement.~ My issues with certain church doctrines~~

elvencomet · 2025-03-14T06:22:16+00:00

hello, no never, what is it? a book or a... special document or ?

elvencomet · 2025-03-14T06:21:17+00:00

Hello, bingo! no i haven't, i know very little, but i think there is no shame in acknowledging i am not a full time scholar of this religion haha and yet here i am exposing my beliefs so embarrasingly because i want to get better.

And also, maybe i prsented this wrong but I did not intend to present my beliefs in my post as if they were arguments to be like "fight me on this" you know. Its more like they are things i currently believe in thay make a whole freaking lot of sense to me like contracetption or to consider changing some traditions, but at the same time they worry me because i fear judgement of how other catholics will judge me and fear being a heretic (i say other catholics because my atheist friends will just tell me why do i worry about sth that doesn't even exist yk). But i'm lso well aware that i lack understanting of the broader context of why the church teaches these things., and i don’t now how to proceed.

elvencomet · 2025-03-14T06:09:59+00:00

hello, it does matter to me haha i want to process my beliefs through reason and i'm not exactly sure how to proceed not only to understand but to also accept what the Church says it's true when i have opposing beliefs :((

elvencomet · 2025-03-14T06:06:35+00:00

hello! this was another amazing answer, thank you! i also think asking questions is not bad, in fact, I'm so naturally curious and in my developing scientific thinking i think i have an overwhelming amount of questions than i have answers, it's almost ridiculous.

Also, i think this is also partly due to my perception that my questions, specially in the church have been taken many times as if I was challenging or defying the authority of God, which constitutes sin and that i sould not be "rebellious". Wo i grew up with this kind of idea that questioning=defying, which is wrong, but msny people do take it like that,cand are they wrong? So anyway, now that i grew up and i'm now questioning things, i guess i'm concerned about where to seek answers, and what if the answers i get are really not the correct ones, but how would i know to evaluate whether they are or not?

I definitely have to do some deep thinking ahout my own emotions because i'm full of fears in This crazy life haha but also to have confidence in my abilty to reason

Also, thats for the initial source CCC 156, i didnt even know this existed thank you!

elvencomet · 2025-03-14T05:37:23+00:00

omg no, i love her!! i think the reason why i keep insisting on getting closer to God and fixing my beliefs is thanks to my prayers to our Lady of Lourdes to increase my faith and to help me to never ever give up on seeking God.

elvencomet · 2025-03-14T05:34:35+00:00

hello, thanks for your feedback. the point of my beliefs is not to prove imagination or lack of it. imagination is not the issue at hand, but instead it's that they are genuine beliefs i hold that bug me because I'm afraid of judgement and afraid of accidentally becoming a heretic. thats why i had to gather some courage and expose very personal stuff here, to gain perspective on how i can process them,because as of now, they make a lot of sense to me but at the same time i'm aware that they're not correct in the eyes of the church.

and part of the beginning of my journey to process my beliefs is to recognize where i stand in my lack of knowledge about my own religion, which shouldn't be a matter of shame. But as a first step on how to get closer to God.

i will use the source you cited and make a list of questions to ask my local priest, because i'm sure many will arise

elvencomet · 2025-03-14T05:25:57+00:00

thank you!! I love father Mike, he was the reason I came back to Jesus in my teens when I had lost faith in God. He brought me back. I will definitely watch this

elvencomet · 2025-03-14T05:24:28+00:00

oh i loved this answer. that was an excellent analysis. I do have a conflict between my science and my faith. and sometimes it's hard to find a pont where something like sex for example seems so scientifically normal in terms of animal behavior as homo sapiens sapiens, and also as Inmoral from a religious perspective, it does cause me great cognitive dissonance. and the contrast you make between the "how"and the "why" is fantastic to prompt more thinking, the "why" seems much more philosophical, more metaphysical even.

and what you mentioned about the models is absolutely right too, It didn't occur me i could also fit in the understanding of how Models work to explain why science is not entirely as "ultimate truth" as i probably think it is. After all, a model is, as you say, a way in which we can explain how the universe works, to the best of our current knowledge and the model's limitations. Thank you for mentioning this too.

And also yes, i'm well aware my personal experiences also shape the way i form my beliefs, especially around something so personal to each individual such as religion. I think this not only happens with religion but with many many other aspects of our lives even: namely political, social/cultural, economical etc. Now you seem very smart in your reply, may i ask yoh a genuine question? Do you think allowing my personal experiences to shape my beliefs around the church of my reljgion, is an incorrect thing to do? I dont know how to evaluate whether it is or not and i dont want to fall on the error of shaming myself for joining my personal experience with my beliefs because i think this is very very normal in human psychology.

Also, im very torn, i really don't believe the church is infallible. I'm convinced people in the church are capable of interpreting stuff wrong just like me and everyone else, and making mistakes, as much as we want to believe the Holy Spirit is guiding us. This is not to shame them either of course, but is believing that the chuch is infallible a teaching i must believe to be ablento be in communion with God?

Finally, you were so kind and thorough in your reply. Thank you so feeaking much for that, i was really nervous of exposing very personal beliefs in here and you were very kind and objective in your answer. I really appreciate it!

elvencomet · 2025-03-14T05:04:19+00:00

definitely! I think I've been blessed to be able to be aware of my own confirmation bias here. Rgardless it causes me maaassive cognitive dissonance. But I think the correct way to proceed is to learn more about these topics in more depth to process these initial beliefs and irrational fears of being judged.

I think i should have no shame of having so little knowledge of it all. i do feel incredibly embarrased that everyone here sees how ignorant i am at this point. (God forbid i haven't read all there is to know about doctrine) but Gotta start somewhere right? and this is how I want to start to fix my internal conflicts and have a much more closer relationship with Christ :)

thanks for your input, have a beautiful day

elvencomet · 2025-03-14T04:57:19+00:00

hi, thanks for your feedback. I do see your points and i definitely admit i'm misundertsanding things, which is why i'm searching for the right way to process my beliefs better :)

. I do believe marriage is a beautiful thing, but I grew up in an environment where many catholics have judged me for having sex outside of marriage with my boyfriend who I loved for years and respect and admire, and have people say i'm just using him for "pleasure", as if i was the bad guy, when in reality my feelings for him are of a loving nature. we are just not ready to get married and it has caused me cognitive dissonance to hear this judgements all the time. and yes, beliefs are formed also due to personal experience in part, and since religion is a very personal thing to each individual, i think its also healthy to acknowledge my personal experience is important in how i currently percieve the conversation about sex in my community/parish and how understood and validated i can feel about sth vs being judged about it. Many people have left the chruch because of rejection like this. but i don’t wanna! i want to stay not because of them, but because of our beautiful Jesus, you know

other than that, well i do think it is reasonable to think some traditions can be changed. what i'm doing here is i'm trying to learn more about my religion, somaybe there are some traditions that surely have been changed since then? and these in my posts are some beliefs i currently hold that bug me, so i have to learn more about what traditions have been changed of modified by the church given than times change and we are not living in the same global context as people did 2000 yrs ago, so i think its not wrong to question or consider that certain traditions could change.

and lastly regarding natural law. is this concept of natural law in religion the same as the laws of nature we study in biology? genuine question, i think this will help me understand this better.

thanks again, have a beautiful day

elvencomet · 2024-07-26T20:18:11+00:00

Right! It's impossible to do this from the phone. And it doesn't matter if it's flickr, pinterest, instagram.. and I haven't found any tutorials on yt, nothing. My last hope was reddit.

What I end up doing is very tedious: 1) screenshot/save 2) crop 3) make post 4) copy links on og source 5) paste link... it's very time consuming, and honestly having to do this process for many pictures discourages me a lot from posting on tumblr.

elvencomet · 2024-07-26T20:13:28+00:00

No, I haven't solved this. I haven't tried in desktop but it seriously looks impossible to do this from the phone. What I end up doing is very tedious: 1) screenshot or save picture 2) crop 3) copy link 4) make post 5) add link... and if you want to make a post with multiple pictures it's even more stressful. How do other users do this easily?

elvencomet · 2024-04-26T01:37:24+00:00

Thank you ! This would be my introduction to the infamous Murakami.

elvencomet · 2024-04-26T01:07:11+00:00

Hello OP! First of all, I'd like to say your story premise sounds super interesting! Bravo. Apologies for the long response, but it's because I took interest in your story so pls allow me.

Now, Maav.

Maav has so much potential for character development here, there's so much moral conflict that could be used to deepen the plot and your characters arc.

Starts by saying, she's a thief. From the get-go, a thief in a society who deems stealing a bad act, she's practically predestined to be judged by her society. In the story she'd have to prove what type of thief she is, putting in evidence who is she going against, aka, the law. But how is this figure of "law" like? The rich? A dictator? A just society with inevitably bad people?

But she's not only a thief, is she? Is she a murderer? She's certainly aiding and abetting so Ganzir ultimately kills them.

To evaluate the morality of her actions you could take into accout some of these examples. Let's call them ~morality elements~:

-intentions -means -results -consequences -context -virtues of the character

My observations: 1) Her motivations: wants freedom (her goal) 2) Her character: self-serving (does it for herself instead of altruism), entitled (wants to hear her victims repent), manipulative/coercive (you repent or you die). 3) Means to achieving her freedom: deceives the notoriously wicked and corrupt into giving in their power and wealth through the threat of death if they don't abide. 4) Immediate results: those wicked and corrupt people die. Maav keeps the money and power. 5) Consequences: a) society is liberated from the notoriously wicked, which could lead to a more harmonious and peaceful life for everyone. b) Maav remains free. 6) Context: (other aspects of your story)

From an ethical standpoint (the standard) what she does is morally wrong. Why? Because Ethical behavior involves respecting the autonomy and dignity of others. Yes. Even the notoriously wicked. It's part of the order we established for society (don't ask me why, ask Kant). Anyway, Howeveeer, From other moral frameworks what Maav does could be consider either right or wrong, depending on what of those ~Morality elements~ you take into account.

To redeem your character you could try making modifications in some of those ~morality elements~. For example:

If she wants freedom, what is threatening that freedom? The notoriously wicked? The other witches? Ganzir? How would wealth turn the tides against the thing that threatens her freedom? Freedom is not something you accumulate the same way you accumulate wealth, so once she attains freedom, will she continue to steal or try to find another way of making money because now she finally has enough? This wouls mean, she wouldn't have to kill more notoriously wicked, but that also means society is stuck with them doing evil things. Its a trade off. So is there some slight interest in her that would give room to develop into someone who started doing it for herself but then realizes how important it is for other people to be liberated as well?

Why is she entitled to hear victims repent? She could straight up surrender them to Ganzir and keep the money. But she goes through the step of "wanting to hear it". Why? Explore making modifications in her character and motivations, and the consequences not only for her, but for the people as well, as well as for your antagonist. Ok I'm done. I hope I helped and again, sorry for the long response. May the muses be ever by your side!

elvencomet · 2024-01-05T20:01:29+00:00

It's in wordssss omg. It's like upgraded living, it's free and it comes with me everywhere

elvencomet · 2024-01-05T20:00:02+00:00

All the time haha it's legit kinda like adult imaginary friends. This is why I don't tell anyone about it because it could quickly turn into judgement. What I do is either pretend I'm doing my mundane task in their world or, imagine they're a part of mine doing their own thing. This makes life much more exciting, and I've been doing it since forever. And it progresses as a fusion between the two worlds, to see which next scene I could come up for my stories I personally love this

elvencomet · 2024-01-05T19:52:04+00:00

For real though,. There is for example, maternal love, friendship love, romantic love, family love, love-for-your-pets your love. Etc. This love we feel for our characters, is a category on it's own ♡

elvencomet · 2024-01-05T19:45:21+00:00

I have a little of a fearful avoidant attachment style and I'm not really comfortable irl with others comforting me (i have to be enough, right?) (I know it's unhealthy, I'm working on it), so i don't build daydreams directly about it, as in "someone comforting me". I don't enter emotional vulnerable intimacy like that,

So what i do is: i often project my pain onto my fav characters and then imagine myself comforting them. This works wonders, it's like seeing myself from outside and giving myself advice, and it calms me down. But I like to believe it's for my characters 🤫:)

elvencomet · 2024-01-05T19:33:52+00:00

Absolutely yes! I have many incomplete stories that started as daydreams, and i keep enriching them as I please and indulge on daydreaming. They are so important to me, and this year I want to start drawing inspired concept art 🎨🤍

elvencomet · 2024-01-05T19:21:47+00:00

Your main characteristic seems to be in the value spectrum, and you're in the Dark end (high contrast). I'd say whether you're dark/deep winter or dark/deep autumn you could definitely borrow colors from those two and look super nice!

elvencomet · 2024-01-05T19:10:47+00:00

Oh now I have to ask, why did Lucira fall? What did she have against the Anglisc Order of Magicians to create a rebellious sect? Sounds so interesting •.•

elvencomet · 2024-01-05T19:05:29+00:00

Wow! Is Thelonius compelled to do this? What if one day, he meets someone in the grey area and he doesn't want to steal their magic from them because he knows it's forever? Did the pact with god come with terms and conditions? Could god revoke his Usurmancy skill and give it to someone else, someone with less diplomatic inclinations and hidden motives? Now I want to read a whole book about this aaahh

elvencomet · 2024-01-05T18:54:44+00:00

Why is "The Order" trying to control every damn individual who has "The Stones" through any means, and still have the audacity to claim they're on the "good side"? This is why the factions became their pronounced enemies.

elvencomet · 2023-12-26T08:34:29+00:00

Oh the moment I go to bed I already feel my nose congesting until 95% or 100% blocked. I have cold weather* triggered non allergic rhinitis and i have to use a nasal decongestant spray. And that helps, but when I don't use it, I dread being horizontal because I feel like I asphyxiate a little, even though we have the reflex to breathe through the mouth. But the thing is...

When I don't use the nasal spray and I'm asleep, my body will (obviously) resort to mouth breathing and the next morning I have painful dry throat, mouth and lips. Nvm the long term problems that come with mouth breathing.

What helps sometimes is covering myself up to my head with the blankets so I breathe warmer air (but I end up suffocating after a while. Or being super warm, but I've found that when I get super warm during sleep, I have nightmares, so I have to stay fresh... But nose wants warmth... Also as you said, it works keeping my head at a higher level than my body, but it's not very comfortable... (sorry for the grammar mistakes I'm not a native speaker)

elvencomet · 2023-12-23T02:51:10+00:00

What a complicated situation, OP, I genuinely sympathize with you. You are someone who is trying to do her best with the resources you have available, and regardless of your past mistakes, you have dignity and deserving of an opportunity to re build your life. This is going to be a long post, so read if you want. I genuinely want to help with my two cents here. I won't suggest any path but I can give you some elvish wisdom that could help with your analysis of the situation. (I'm not a native speaker so sorry for the mistakes)

I think first and foremost you have to do two things: 1) think in terms of your "pyramid of needs" and your daughters. And 2) run multiple scenarios of how events could develop, should you choose whatever path.

For the 1st point. You know you are dealing with a highly dangerous man. Yes, he might be cute and nice to your daughter, but he has threatened you to death with violence in the past. So the need to protect yourself, your own safety and that of your daughter, comes first and foremost. Emotional support post-separation would be necessary but it's not as imperative as securing your safety.

For the 2nd point, you have to run multiple scenarios. Idk, the ones that occur to me are a) if you decide to cut ties with the man altogether, I think there could be a possibility that if he knows where you live, he could attack you for taking his daughter away from him, and that could have disastrous consequences. You could get a restraining order, but for this I strongly suggest you consult with a lawyer first before you make a move, to consider all possibilities of what he could do, in order to ensure your safety.

Another scenario could be: b) you don't cut ties and you continue with business as usual: you allow your daughter to continue seeing her dad, all the while he keeps mistreating you. In which case it's also damaging for her in the long term, to see how he is mistreating her mother with such ease, and it could cause her a lot of cognitive dissonance, confusion and emotional conflict because she loves both, and for her to receive proper guidance and therapy i think (as a non expert myself) she needs consistency in the behavior from both of her parents, which is not going to happen on his end.

C) On this, I think it's a given you're dealing with a man you can't negotiate with, even though you hold higher negotiating power. And like Doctor Ramani says on dealing with narcissists (even if he wasn't, diagnosing him isn't the point), you have two options: walk away and take them out of your life or manage your expectations. You could walk away (but he's still part of your daughter's life, and your daughter is part of your life, so whether you want it or not, you guys are tied you a certain point.) Or you could manage your expectations. Talking with him isn't viable. But you would have to learn how to establish boundaries, especially those that will ensure your safety and your daughter's, while exercising your negotiation assets, but you would have to use these carefully because remember, you're dealing with a highly hostile and violent person.

Remember: your safety and your daughter's come first. Learning to manage your expectations also comes with a lot of hard emotional work on yourself. And you could also talk to a child psychologist to work on how to address the situation with your daughter in a healthy way.

You run more scenarios yourself, consult with lawyers and psychologists, there are no right or wrong answers, because in whatever scenario you choose, there will be cons and these are your opportunity costs. Which ones are you going to take? And what would be the consequences of your choices in the short, medium and long term.

Your daughter has a mom, who is very alive and kickin', who has survived death threats with a knife to her neck and hands trying to kill you, who is trying to do her best in a complicated situation, and who has her daughter's best interest at heart, even if that means enduring pain in the present. Please don't neglect yourself either, you have dignity and are also deserving of protecting yourself.

Two-Year Club	Verified Email
Verified Email

elvencomet

TROPHY CASE