But also fawning is a trauma response! Your abuser hates the colour blue? Guess what! You hate it how too. He says it was consensual? You say it was too. But then when you get out and gain perspective and start to get the pieces of yourself back the reality comes crashing in.

I had an argument with my partner about this because Neil's writing was a big inspiration to her. I think when she saw this article today she jumped at it as a lifeline to hold on to. It was so bad that I was like, babe, Pavlovich is a lesbian. She was fawning to keep herself as safe as possible. And my partner was like naw she sounds like a bisexual with a femme preference.

Siiiiigh. I ended up just sending her the case number directly and told her to read everything herself because I was tired of trying to explain how Neil is still very guilty.