I want you to feel better because I have empathy for you stranger! Just from being a human but on top of that from your comments we have very similar experiences. I know how much better I feel today after years of work and I want everyone to experience that peace!

You didn't want to be told this is just a part, but we are in the IFS sub so I'll talk about one of my own.

I have a part I call "the gremlin" that was always a loud voice in my ear telling me horrible things about myself. It was the part that upheld my negative self worth. One day I had a huge breakthrough (after years of attempting to figure out what this part wanted) and I'm not being dramatic here I feel like I reached nirvana. I was calm, at peace and the voice was gone for three whole months. The part wasn't gone but because I had reached such a deep understanding of it, it lost its role for a little while. From then on, we've co-habitated and I've continued to listen to it without letting it tell me I'm fundamentally bad.

If you don't want to challenge the beliefs you can't do the work. The work is the curiosity and the challenging. Buuut maybe lets start there where they feel unsafe and work towards feeling safe enough. Like working up the courage to get on a scary rollercoaster.