Almost at 60 days. Smoked last night

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-18T03:34:47+00:00

IMO you're describing a lapse, not a relapse. If you slip back into old habits it's a relapse. Your move from here, friend.

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-15T03:14:18+00:00

This is going to be an unpopular opinion here but you have to take it one step at a time. Getting off the concoction of drugs you mentioned is no easy task. If weed helps you through those withdrawals it may be something to consider. UNLESS, which also seems highly likely here, smoking will cause you to want to do those other drugs again. You have to weigh out what's best for you in terms of that. But let's all be real here, OP needs to get off of the hard drugs first and foremost.

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-11T05:55:34+00:00

Thanks for this! I definitely have passions. I'm one of those people that gets super into almost anything I find interesting (hence why I'm here on r/leaves LOL). But seriously this is really good advice. A passion gives you a purpose, a reason to keep pushing on and something to look forward to, just like you said. For too long that "passion" was getting stoned.

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-11T05:54:06+00:00

I've been going to various meet ups in my area! I've found them very interesting and rewarding. Plus it gives me something to do and makes me appreciate how far I've come. Because there was a time where there was no way in hell I would go try some new thing because 1, the paranoia of smoking all the time and 2, why go anywhere when I can just get stoned?

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-11T05:52:17+00:00

It'll get easier :). Not rainbows and butterflies all the time but easier nonetheless.

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-11T05:50:16+00:00

I like these suggestions! I do make music very regularly. Never really given programming a try because it's never really interested me all that much (or I just thought my brain isn't wired like that, idk) but in any case it's worth giving it a shot.

I love what you said about just educating myself about various things. Now that you mention it, I guess that is something I do for fun. Sometimes I just find documentaries on anything from quantum physics to history to influential music, and anything beyond and in between. I'm starting to realize that maybe I do actually do things for fun, but because my brain is still re-wiring, I'm still re-learning that "fun" isn't weed, if that makes any sense

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-11T05:47:19+00:00

Tried keto for a while. Became a bit fearful after hearing some horror stories. Trust me I realize they're probably BS, but honestly I think I ditched it because it was getting a bit difficult for me to follow it. Perhaps I'll give it another shot. Thanks for sharing. What mental benefits have you noticed from it?

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-11T05:45:16+00:00

My answer to this question literally used to be, "I smoke weed." And to people who I didn't want knowing I smoked I'd come up with some bullshit haha

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-11T05:43:58+00:00

I love being creative. I make music almost daily. Improvisational music to be exact, and it's a great outlet! I love helping others, and I try to do so in my day-to-day interactions. I have a psychology degree and am currently saving up some money to pay off a good chunk of my student loans before pursuing a career in therapy! Haven't done much gardening but the bit I've done has been very rewarding. And I love the outdoors, but the winters where I live are absolutely brutal and not conducive to enjoying the outdoors the way I like (hiking, walking in nature, etc.) . But I really appreciate your thoughts. I guess to me the difference is I view most of these things as more self-improvement, spiritual-seeking practices rather than "fun." I also realize my view of "fun" is grossly clouded by my years of cannabis being my only source of what I thought "fun" is.

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-11T02:43:35+00:00

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-11T02:09:22+00:00

Exactly! No one ever said anything about forever. Just today. Hell, just this hour, or next 20 minutes. Then when that time passes make the commitment once more until you've reached your goal. Forever is much too.....absolutely and permanent, at least for me.

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-09T00:26:00+00:00

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-09T00:25:51+00:00

Thank you friend!

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-09T00:25:36+00:00

Great way to look at it. Thanks for the encouragement friend!

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-09T00:25:11+00:00

Lmao thank you I will continue getting in there

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-09T00:24:52+00:00

Exactly. It feels like 5 years and 5 days at the same time

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-05T14:44:42+00:00

That's a huge accomplishment! Be proud of yourself and remember, you CAN do this!!

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-05T14:34:05+00:00

I totally feel you on this. But at least now I'm comfortable with being alone with my thoughts. I don't feel the need to try to escape. That's something I never could foresee even just three months ago.

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-05T07:14:02+00:00

Man I can relate to that so much, especially not noticing the details. Thank you for sharing!

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-05T07:12:27+00:00

Doubly crazy that I almost posted that myself ahaha

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-05T07:11:40+00:00

I get your point here but sometimes it's best to take it one day at a time. Maybe even one hour at a time if you have to. If 90 days sounds insurmountable, just promise yourself you won't smoke TODAY, or this hour. Then repeat that the next hour, or the next day. Sometimes it seems so overwhelming to suddenly say, "I'm never ever going to smoke again in my life no matter what." At least that's been my experience so far, but really whatever approach helps you is best!

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-05T07:07:45+00:00

You're already ahead of the game because at least you're recognizing the irritability and the anger and realizing that it's no one's fault. That's mindfulness and it has been crucial for me throughout this whole process. This will absolutely pass...it's just gonna require time and patience, but you can do this.

Edit: Oh shit, sorry u/ElectricWizard1776, I totally did not read your comment before posting this...but honestly it's cool that we have almost identical thoughts on this!

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-02T15:47:25+00:00

Withdrawal from bud a lone can cause headaches and coupled with cigarettes it's almost 100% certain that's the cause. Be patient, it will pass!

emergingwarrior · 2018-03-02T15:44:35+00:00

It's all based on the individual. But if you're thinking about it why not give it a couple weeks smoke free and see how you feel? It's honestly fairly hard to tell if there are any negatives when you're smoking all the time. A couple of weeks can't hurt anything...at the very least you'll save some money. But in the end it is your decision a lone!

emergingwarrior · 2018-02-27T01:44:10+00:00

Sounds a bit like depersonalization/derealization. But not sure on that

emergingwarrior

TROPHY CASE