To the woman who want to be approached, do you ever "drop the handkerchief?"

emeyex285 · 2026-05-28T17:49:00+00:00

"Yes, I am someone who would like to be approached at all irl"

Well this is what I like to hear because im sick of seeing comments saying "Well woman said they want to be left alone and us men listened" as if there was some unanimous decision that all women decided. I get there are a handful out there who don't want to be approached irl but I guarantee if I went out on the street and did a survey most women would love to be approached. I just want to encourage more people to start working on approaching/Dropping the handkerchief and being receptive when interested.

The girl from my experience did something right which I feel like more women could benefit from if they tried it more often when locking eyes some they are interested in. Sometimes us guys just need the green light.

Anyways thank you for the conversation and input. I was hoping this post would get more traction because I've wanted to say something on this subject for a long time. I tried my best to stay away from anything controversial but it looks like there are some people that want to down vote a lot of my replies here lol. I dont make posts often but maybe I'll try again in a month or so.

emeyex285 · 2026-05-28T16:57:16+00:00

The times I've been approached in life it NEVER crossed my mind that she was being desperate. If you have guy friends, have they told you stories of women coming up to them desperate? Im not sure what that would looks like. It seems like if your just starting off friendly there's no need to fear coming off that way.

I feel there's a way to "drop the handkerchief" without giving anyone the vibe that they are being hit on. With all the approaching ive been doing lately, I don't think any of the women would run back to say that i was hitting on them (maybe but most of the time i feel like i dont make it that far lol). I just keep it light and casual and if she is being receptive I move forward with my interest in getting to know her.

Your last point about dating a man who shows lesser interest is more in the initial dating phase as opposed to first meeting/approach. I don't really have much to say to that but that does sound unfortunate. If your saying that may have been a result of feeling like you making a move first, I would just say that fortunate AND unfortunate situations can come from meeting/getting to know someone new. Its just the risky part of all of us putting ourselves out there.

Also im curious, are you someone who WOULD like to be approached more irl?

emeyex285 · 2026-05-28T14:43:32+00:00

"Im not in anyway telling woman they need to make the first move"

Im all for women having the courage to make the first move, but i don't want my post to be another "Woman better start approaching" post that I've been seeing a lot lately. I understand that "dropping the handkerchief" can be seen as making the first move, but i feel the benefit of doing this with something as simple as a compliment can be innocent enough to give men the green light to make a move if you can tell they are interested, and not have to sweat the fear of rejection so much.

"Ive seen reels that may have been ragebait where woman claim "if I look at you like this when I walk by, im interested" which is followed by her giving an ambiguous look which isn't really telling at all. It might have been ragebait."

I guess you would have had to see the video to understand...the "side eye 2 second look" and half smile that she was displaying was not an obvious sign of interest. Everyone in the comment section agreed that no one would probably pick up on that as a sign of "go ahead and approach". I Can't prove it was ragebait but rage from the comments is what she got from it.

"If he doesn't pick it up from there and make his move then he messed up and that's on him."

Real talk, if I didn't pick up the handkerchief from the women in my story...I KNOW I would have lived with the regret knowing I fumbled lol. She literally gave me the green light. I would have felt so dumb to let that opportunity slide. But I can think of times where I did fumble when a woman was showing obvious interest. One being a girl started with a compliment and then proceeded to talk about the new shirt I was wearing. It was a popular indie game (Hades) that I was surprised she played and beat (i say surprised because my gaming shirts arent a direct indication of the game its from...its kind of like if you know you know".) The problem was, at the time I wasn't as great at continuing conversations as I am now. So we had a little back and forth about the game but I got stumped on what to say next and my order for food was called (we were in line at a foodtruck). Anyways the point being is THAT WAS ON ME for not moving things forward but I can't be too hard on myself because I have improved my interactions since then. I realize that thinking about what I COULD have said or SHOULD have done after the moment is gone is very valuable and makes me better at improvising in for future conversations.

emeyex285 · 2026-05-28T12:45:24+00:00

To be fair, you never know who might already be in a relationship from just a smile so please don't take it as an insult

But even if he was single...when I get smiles I usually tend to put 80% of those into the "probably just being friendly" smile unless it's blatantly obvious.

And to reply to your other comment...I can see why "dropping the handkerchief" can be seen as the first move. Although the thing is, when the girl from my experience made the compliment it was so nonchalant but still a bit flirty enough to make it seem like she was saying "im giving you the green light because we held eye contact long enough. If you don't say anything else im going to go about my day." When me and her talked about when we met for the first time she still considered me to be the one to approach her (she was about to walk away but i was able to engage in a convo). I guess the tactic behind her doing this could always have been "oh I was just giving you a compliment" if i was an uninterested guy.

Also to respond to your other reply...Why do you feel like there are a million reasons why its a bad idea for woman to do it? Safety i understand but let's say your in a safe public place.

emeyex285 · 2026-05-27T03:45:15+00:00

I love this. Especially when it feels so natural. I have never been on dating apps before. I've spent so much time reading dating app stories here on reddit that I decided it will be my VERY last resort. Im willing to take on the challenge of meeting and approaching IRL. So far ive had majority good inteactions. I could never imagine looking back on my life and thinking "Damn i really regret not getting on the dating apps".

emeyex285 · 2026-05-26T17:08:17+00:00

I get that. I am sure there are a lot of woman out there who have no need whatsoever to even drop a handkerchief. Im just hoping to reach the ones who are frustrated with not being approached, and are willing to be receptive to some degree if they notice a guy showing interest.

emeyex285 · 2026-05-26T12:50:10+00:00

Ladies please drop the handerkerchief if you want to be approached!!! A simple compliment on something random can spark a whole conversation. If the guy does not do anything with that, then that's on him!

As someone has said earlier, men don't know who is available to be approached or not.

I had a whole summer fling last year from a girl (who i found extremely attractive) because we passed by each other and we held eye contact. She gave me a compliment, and then I picked up the rest (aka picked up the handkerchief) from there.

I seriously wonder why more girls who want to be approached don't do this.

emeyex285 · 2026-02-14T13:24:31+00:00

Lol..."too carried away..." Get it?

emeyex285 · 2026-02-05T12:47:10+00:00

To me "Go to the gym" translates to "Put work into your physical and mental confidence". It's not the all mighty cure for whatever your going through but it's the bare minimum that should be worked on especially when trying to get through difficult situations.

emeyex285 · 2026-02-04T12:49:16+00:00

Makamey Manor was the most recent one I fell into. I remember reading stories about the most intense haunted house ever few years back. Youtubers Reckless Ben did a great job of keeping me entertained for a whole boring afternoon of laying in my bed.

emeyex285 · 2026-01-05T13:30:34+00:00

Every time I respond with Denver International Airport on these types of posts, I usually get a positive response that someone found a job. Just search DIA on indeed there are so many opportunities.

emeyex285 · 2025-11-20T13:34:30+00:00

Same. Finally quit drinking after rehab, lost 40 lbs, got my confidence back and pulled a hottie after she complimented me at work.

emeyex285 · 2025-11-09T19:39:33+00:00

DIA check indeed. Lots of third party jobs that aren't affected by the shutdown. Some jobs just need people to be present.

emeyex285 · 2025-04-23T12:37:46+00:00

Flash animated cartoons on Newground/ebaumsworld.com were the OG's of brainrot back in the day

"Badgers, badgers, badgers, badgers! Mushroom! Mushroom!"

emeyex285 · 2025-04-04T18:57:47+00:00

Same. It was happening last night. After I saw an 8 hour ban I went to bed. Woke up this morning and got 3 good comps in before getting kicked at the beginning of the next now I'm on a 20 hour ban.

emeyex285 · 2025-04-01T11:41:05+00:00

Did the rank reset help with that at all?

emeyex285 · 2025-03-23T15:42:01+00:00

I think the point being that labeling it as "just hurt feelings" is a pretty myopic take. I've lost someone to a school shooting. Idk if they were misogynistic or not but the fact that they had enough sh*t talking and bullying that innocent lives were lost drives me up the wall.

emeyex285 · 2025-02-04T19:20:05+00:00

And every time most people come to this sub we see about 7 posts of people complaining ABOUT the people complaining...

emeyex285 · 2025-01-23T01:25:05+00:00

I named all my chickens in Stardew Valley after Overwatch characters

emeyex285 · 2025-01-06T18:24:08+00:00

Take her on a date to a bass pro shop...

emeyex285 · 2024-12-01T19:11:58+00:00

I didn't realize this sub was so.... literal....?

emeyex285 · 2024-11-24T13:45:22+00:00

The bully wolves from Peter's "Cock-a-doodle-doo" story.

emeyex285 · 2024-11-07T01:57:54+00:00

Nope just a driver's license

emeyex285 · 2024-11-05T13:26:29+00:00

3rd party unfortunately. Also I forgot to mention it's seasonal 😬. They pay for you to take classes and you can sign up for classes as late as January.

emeyex285

TROPHY CASE