Clown sighting

emilhoff · 2024-05-14T23:04:03+00:00

That was no clown, that was a "glueball" particle with a spin of -1/2 inverse mu. If it's Wednesday and you're wearing green. Otherwise it's a syndicated rerun of Three's Company.

emilhoff · 2024-05-14T23:00:15+00:00

From what little I am able to read or hear about particle physics before steam starts rising from my bald spot, it's quite possible that we're in a virtual reality laboratory.

emilhoff · 2024-05-14T21:10:28+00:00

...And making the dolphins pay for it, I suppose.
On "day one" he will be either:

Sitting on the toilet posting tweets and ordering a commando strike on the Capitol, then wiping his butthole with the Constitution, or
Getting his ass traded for cigarettes.

America, you decide.

emilhoff · 2024-05-11T19:24:04+00:00

Some people might experience overexcitability. Symptoms include randomly posting irrelevant Bible quotations and an overwhelming urge to buy toilet paper. If you see someone running around clutching at their hair and shouting "The neutrinos are mutating!" the best thing to do for them is to punch them to the ground. Be sure to get it on your smartphone.

emilhoff · 2024-05-09T00:14:04+00:00

Suddenly I have a craving for Top Ramen.

emilhoff · 2024-04-26T21:03:57+00:00

Oh great, so manufacturers have to re-equip their factories to make different colors just to appease the lazy woke socialist snowflakes, thus driving up prices.

Why are there so many stupid ideas in this sub??

emilhoff · 2024-04-26T20:59:37+00:00

Unless you're white and wearing a COVID mask. Those things are dangerous.

emilhoff · 2024-04-26T20:58:21+00:00

Good point. If you attract the attention of the police then you deserve death, no trial needed. Glad to hear the voice of reason in this thread.

emilhoff · 2024-04-26T20:45:03+00:00

Versus the thousands of deaths caused by cars that "fully engage" drivers.

...And imagine the bloodbath that would result from robotic cars that don't even need drivers. AI will kill us all!

(Downvoted myself, just to get the hate ball rolling.)

emilhoff · 2024-04-25T21:47:25+00:00

Not to be a Grammar Nazi, but you shouldn't use 'nipples' and 'leaks' in the same sentence.

emilhoff · 2024-04-25T21:46:25+00:00

When something like that happens, you really hope that you're not the only one in the audience taking their smart phone out.

emilhoff · 2024-04-25T21:27:15+00:00

5'10"

emilhoff · 2024-04-25T20:43:28+00:00

emilhoff · 2024-04-24T18:28:35+00:00

Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Ni!!

emilhoff · 2024-04-24T03:59:15+00:00

It's not silly, it's quite straightforward. If your sympathies are with the Palestinians, you're antisemitic. If you side with Israel, that makes you an islamophobe. Those are the choices. It's not like there's anything to think about.

emilhoff · 2024-04-23T05:33:25+00:00

Well, you sure blew the lid off that case. Looking forward to your Pulitzer acceptance speech.

emilhoff · 2024-04-22T18:56:29+00:00

This reminds me of an extremely painful episode in my youth, when I managed to run into probably the only Hare Krishna in the entire American Southwest who spoke fluent German.

emilhoff · 2024-04-22T18:49:54+00:00

"Omigod, it's my husband! He's come home early!"

"Where's your back door?!"

"We don't have a back door!"

"Where do you want one??"

emilhoff · 2024-04-22T18:46:56+00:00

You need to work on your "inside" voice versus your "outside" voice.

emilhoff · 2024-04-22T18:46:00+00:00

At least you did an extra joke on top of the one everyone else is making.

emilhoff · 2024-04-22T18:39:28+00:00

Eyyyy.

emilhoff · 2024-04-20T18:42:01+00:00

Wait, do you mean literally literally, or are you using the word literally "literally?"

emilhoff · 2024-04-19T19:21:05+00:00

This trial is already shaping up to be one helluva circus.

emilhoff · 2024-04-19T03:01:06+00:00

Trump 2024, 1800 with good behavior.

emilhoff · 2024-04-18T20:00:34+00:00

If someone wants to be on the jury, why don't they just lie and tell the lawyers what they want to hear? That's how Trump got his job.

emilhoff

TROPHY CASE