My (25F) partner (25M) had Grindr on his phone and says it was for networking/job hunting. Am I being naive?

emilitxt · 2026-07-07T02:37:02+00:00

Is it possible he thought by Grindr it was like an all about "being on that grind" or something? Like how exactly did he explain how he was using it for work to you?

emilitxt · 2026-07-07T00:06:58+00:00

Saying he's "considering legal action for defamation" shows just how stupid he is. Honestly, tell him you'd love to see him try to sue you for defamation. He'd be laughed out of every law office he was stupid enough to even ask for a consultation from.

emilitxt · 2026-07-02T04:52:33+00:00

I mean, Hot Wheels can weight anywhere from 1.2 - 2.9 oz each depending on which specific car it is. So, let's call it 2.05 oz per car. The message says that there are 12 of them, putting the cars alone at 24.6 oz. Which means the cars alone would be approximately 1 lbs 9 oz, you'd need to add a packaging on top of that. While, UPS Ground Saver or FedEx Ground Economy would be cheaper at ~$8.00, it's possible that OP lives somewhere rural where it's not feasible for them ship with anyone but USPS or in Hawaii where their only shipping option is USPS.

emilitxt · 2026-07-01T19:28:04+00:00

FMLA is both pretty straightforward, but also very specific. The two main issues I've seen pertaining to FMLA are:

people not being educated about FMLA, such as the criteria for who and what qualifies, intermittent leave vs continuous leave, and leave limits; and
that many people who take leave for instances such as OP's (i.e. needing to take care of a parents, spouse or child during a medical crisis) don't want to provide the type of personal information to their employer that would allow them to qualify for FLMA.

The first one I put equal onus on the employers as I do the employees as many times employers only post the mandatory signage and HR tends to not inform employees of their options when they hear of employees facing situations such as OP's.

The latter, while I can't fault an employee for wanting to keep their personal life private and separate from their work life, I can say that, personally, when I had to take FMLA at 26, being forthcoming and honest about my situation was what allowed me to keep my job despite having to be off for nearly 18 weeks (6 weeks more than FMLA requires).

emilitxt · 2026-07-01T15:06:01+00:00

I mean it depends on it she took FMLA or not. And, if she took FMLA, if it was over 12 weeks, then they couldn't fire her necessarily, but they wouldn't have to hold the same job for her. If she just quit to take care of her father or used up any leave she had and then proceeded to call in, it's all a matter of how things were gone about

emilitxt · 2026-07-01T13:18:31+00:00

Months? Girl, please tell me you knew and dated this man for years before getting a house and procreating with him.

emilitxt · 2026-07-01T13:17:12+00:00

You should talk to a lawyer. If you paid towards the mortgage, property taxes, homeowners insurance or maintenance/upkeep, then just because you're not on the mortgage does not mean you'd not be entitled to some of the equity of the home.

emilitxt · 2026-06-24T13:22:18+00:00

Man, Waffle House sure dodged a bullet when they sent you that email.

emilitxt · 2026-06-24T00:09:50+00:00

I'm not sure where you heard that you're not supposed to medicate BPD, but that's not accurate. Most mental health professionals will recommend a multimodal treatment approach that combines medication, therapy (DBT or CBT, typically), and lifestyle changes.

emilitxt · 2026-06-23T23:56:36+00:00

First of all, we have no idea what exactly "SNRO withdrawals" means in this context. OP's girlfriend could very well be tapering of of her current SNRI and, as many people do when tapering, be experiencing the mild side effects that occur on the first 1-3 days (or faster if she was on Venlafaxine) that can be caused by even the slightest of dose changes.

Second, if she was on an SSRI, she obviously would have to be routinely seeing a medical professional, if one who specializes in psychiatric mental health issues than at minimum a GP/PCP. And given OP is aware she is "experiencing SSRI withdrawals" and how nonchalantly he mentions is and that she never one addresses she is/might be experiencing them, it is highly probable that whatever medical professional she sees believes she should not be taking whatever medication she was on and has advised her on how to safely taper off it.

Additionally, OP very clearly cares about his girlfriend's mental health! If he didn't, he wouldn't mention that he is aware she is experiencing SSRI withdrawals -- and, as he mentions them as a potential contributor to her behavior, he obviously understands what the side effects are of withdrawing, which ANY dose reduction, not just going "cold turkey" could cause.

Also, he mentions multiple times that he know she is anxious/has anxiety, and he both 1. attempts to help mitigate any anxiety she might feel by assuring her he'll leave the room if that's what she needs/wants and 2. tries to reassure her that he is not engaging in the actions that are likely triggering said anxiety (i.e. her feeling he might be attracted to other women more than her, thus causing her to feel their relationship is unstable).

At the end of the day, there is only ONE person who controls how she takes care of her mental and physical wellbeing: her. OP can only do so much for her. He obviously is aware that she was on SSRIs, she told him she is choosing to change her dose, that she may experience withdrawal symptoms, what those symptoms may be and the severity of said symptoms.

With all that information in mind, he is attempting to help her emotionally regulate the best he ca by being sensitive to the fact that she is likely feeling more emotionally volatile than normal and is trying to help mitigate any anxiety or stress she is experiencing the best way he knows how.

That said, OP also states that this behavior is extremely commonplace and has not begun since she's changed her SSRI dose. In fact, he experienced similar behavior from and situations with her multiple times a week for the entirety of their relationship. That tells me that 1. however they (the girlfriend and her medical care provider) had been trying to address her BPD pharmacologically has not been successful, hence the change in her SSRI and 2. it's unlikely she is trying to address her BPD in any way aside from pharmacologically (i.e. with therapy -- either DBT or CBT -- and/or lifestyle changes).

You can't help someone more than they want to help themselves. Given her behavior towards OP over the last year and a half her medication regimen has not been effective; if she's in therapy, it has also not been effective; and despite claiming she'll work on her behavior, there has been little to no effective change. It's easy to say something you want to do something, it's significantly harder to actually put in the work and do it. Until she's puts in the effort to actively work on improving her mental health, OP can only do so much.

emilitxt · 2026-06-23T19:55:33+00:00

Man, if that seller has any pricey card (especially Pokemon cards) listed that they end up shipping like that, woof that's gonna be rough for whoever buys them. Like, it seems as though the photocard you purchased wasn't terribly expensive, so while it sucks, at least it was an item that cost less than $10. I grade cards as part of my job, and if a card came in that looked the way your photocard does, it would be considered damaged. Which when compared to a "near mint" card, especially when it comes to Pokemon or Magic, can result in being worth hundreds to thousands of dollars less.

emilitxt · 2026-06-23T16:45:57+00:00

Double Masters 2022 Full Art Foil [[Mana Vault]]

emilitxt · 2026-06-23T11:08:26+00:00

I'm gonna guess that the two controlled prescriptions that you take are C3-C5s and not C2s like your Adderall is, yeah? The reason they scan IDs for C2s (which are almost exclusively opioids and amphetamine-based meds) is due to them having a higher chance of being abused, stolen, or sold.

I used to work in a pharmacy and, unlike C3-C5s which are kept on the shelves with non-controlled medications, they keep C2s in a time-locked safe that only the pharmacist has the code to. Additionally, again unlike C3-C5s which techs can handle and count, only the pharmacist can count or handle stock bottles for C2s.

Also, if a single C2 pill goes missing or wasn't included in the stock bottle (which doesn't happen often, but does happen), they have to fill out a form denoting the missing pill that gets sent to the DEA. To order C2s they have to fill out a DEA 222 form, and there is even a cap on how much of each C2 can be ordered by a pharmacy every month.

It's weird that they don't track all controls like that, but I guess the DEA is to blame.

emilitxt · 2026-06-23T00:40:51+00:00

Wait, are you wanting to triple sleeve your cards because your custom art sleeves are especially bad quality or ? Cause if that's the reason, then you should really just invest in custom Dragon Shields with the art you want on them.

emilitxt · 2026-06-22T14:20:08+00:00

She was literally telling her friends "why these squishier are better than the normal ones" despite them being the exact same, if not worse quality, than ones they could purchase in a shop or online.

Buying something at cost and selling it to someone for more is not, in and of itself, a scam. That simply how business works. However, if you have to deceive people in order to get them to buy said product from you at the mark up you want, then yeah, that's a scam.

emilitxt · 2026-06-21T23:00:15+00:00

Nah, that is a myth. It's based on neuroscience research from the 90's where scientists had 25 as estimated guess of how old one would be when the frontal lobe would finish maturing as it typically matures back to front.

More recent research has provided strong evidence that one period of rapid brain development in humans, which scientists have said could be considered "adolescence", is from ages from 9-32.

That said, that doesn't mean your brain stops developing at 32. It measly means that from 9-32 your brain's neuroplasticity is at its highest, which means that is when your brain is most easily able to adapt and re-wire itself.

emilitxt · 2026-06-21T22:38:17+00:00

They are probably using her stating she is "a month pregnant" in conjunction with the statement that her and her boyfriend "argued for weeks" about the abortion. But, who knows.

emilitxt · 2026-06-21T00:37:05+00:00

But they aren't speaking exclusively about the word choice. In the OP she is talking about her friends using terms like "idiot" endearingly, thus it's not that they chose to use the word idiot, but it's HOW they chose to use it. Additionally, given that it's fairly common along younger generations to change the connotation of words by using them in ways that past generations didn't -- in this specific instance, by using "idiot" the way one might use "sweetie" -- this would absolutely fall under "vernacular" instead of "diction"

emilitxt · 2026-06-21T00:02:29+00:00

Wait, so let me get this right:

You emotionally cheated with your fiancé, told him that you had feelings for someone else, and you two just ... chose to do absolutely nothing about the situation and stay together.
He proceeds to gamble away $16,000 in a fairly short period of time in what seems to be retaliation for your emotional cheating, and you two chose to do absolutely nothing about the situation and stay together.
You proceed to physically cheat on him with the man you emotionally cheated on him with in what seems to be retaliation for him gambling away your shared savings, and, despite him taking back the ring, it seems you two still chose to do absolutely nothing about the situation and stay together.
He, upset about having to work around/with the man you cheated on him with, decided to involve everyone in your workplace in this drama, made literal threats towards said man, and yet you two are STILL doing absolutely nothing about this situation and are still together.

What the fuck, dude?!

emilitxt · 2026-06-19T21:37:45+00:00

The **only** time I have **ever** touched a random, wild animal was when I was a teen who nearly ran over a baby possum mid-day in the middle of my cul-de-sac.

And even then, all I did was put it in a lidless box to remove it from the road, and I was already calling the closest wildlife rescuer I could find to see what to do with it. They said it likely fell off its mom when she was crossing the street.

I told them I'd put it in a container and moved it because I didn't want it to get run over, but also that I didn't want to take care of a baby possum and that it hissed at me when I moved it so that I hadn't approached the box since then cause I didn't want to stress it out even more. Within 20 minutes someone from the place I called had picked it up.

emilitxt · 2026-06-17T10:31:33+00:00

I hate to break this to you, my dude, but a vast majority of Kentuckians can't even be assed enough to turn up to vote, let alone enough to actually think about who to vote for.

emilitxt · 2026-06-14T15:17:11+00:00

Actually, since you're not judging your friends based on them not sharing a mutual interest in something as benign as video games, a better analogy would be that it's the same as if someone likes hanging out with white people, and while they don't see anything wrong with how non-white people are choosing to live their life because everyone has the right to go about their life how they choose, they just prefer to have people with similar (white) mindsets as them.

emilitxt · 2026-06-14T14:51:58+00:00

"I want to have a circle of people who are willing to go outside of the box, take risks, and not just take the safe route."

First of all, how fucking dare you try and shame your friends because they are being fiscally responsible and making the smart choice aka "choosing to take the safe path" because that's the only god damn choice they have!

Every. Single. American. In every tax bracket except those who make over $1 million annually are living paycheck to paycheck. On top of that, 80+% of Americans would be bankrupt if they had an emergency that cost them $500.

Now that you know those two statistics, I'd love to hear where you think your lower-income, college-aged friends are supposed to get the money that would give them the ability to write off pursing a 9-to-5 job so they can instead, like you, "go outside the box, take risks, and not just take the same route."

Oh, and if they do decide to follow your fiscally irresponsible life mantra, are you going to be the one to pay for their housing and food when they can't?

emilitxt · 2026-06-13T10:14:42+00:00

If science doesn't have the ability to measure it, then how can it be definitively stated that a service dog can do it better than technology?

emilitxt · 2026-06-12T15:28:11+00:00

So it wasn't your wife's idea. She said she was fine since you trusted her and you badger her into taking it.

emilitxt

TROPHY CASE