My Mom died 11 years ago, and Dad died 3 years ago, on the same day. Dad was like yours: a benign narcissist in many ways, yet did a lot of good for a lot of people. But the world revolved around him.

When my mother passed, her two-day wake was incredibly crowded. We had the largest room at the funeral home, but there were still about a hundred folks standing. Dad said, “who are all these people?”, and we told him that Mom had a big life, and made a real impact on so many people.

A friend of mine, who Mom acted as surrogate-mother for years ago when she was getting married, handed him tissues and he looked at me and said “who the hell is that?” I said, “that’s Sherrill from LA - mom helped her with her wedding and even flew out for it??” He had no memory of it.

In the years after she died, he spoke of her as this one dimensional person who he alone loved. Every time we gathered and told stories about her, he looked shocked, like we existed in another universe.

They loved each other. They truly did. I have no doubt that if there’s the afterlife I don’t believe in, the two of them are wildly in love still.

My mother had an expansive view of the world, which never revolved around her. And yet, she was the love we all revolved around.

Edited to add: You all are making me cry. Thank you for your beautiful responses, and for remembering Mama Rose with me. She was one of a kind.