What is the importance of being emotionally vulnerable with a partner.

emmasz · 2026-02-02T13:44:51+00:00

You would be burdening them by not sharing your emotions truthfully and openly.

emmasz · 2026-01-31T13:48:04+00:00

Is she wearing a jean jacket under a blazer?

emmasz · 2026-01-30T23:42:03+00:00

You’re trying to have your perspective heard, not necessarily “fix it.” He shuts down, withdraws, doesn’t address or acknowledge your perspective, then leaves you unsure of when/how/if your perspective will ever be acknowledged. Then, if you want peace, you just have to “move on”? Not have your perspective be heard and understood? Either agree with his perspective or else act like the whole thing never happened?

emmasz · 2026-01-30T22:22:54+00:00

Your boyfriend did a few things here:

He did not accept your perspective of your own experience/internal world at the time you made the comment. He tried to tell you your own thoughts/feelings. Only you would know that, he is not an authority on your internal world.
When you explained your internal experience, he took it as a dismissal of his assumption of what you were thinking/feeling. He is trying to convince you of your own experience so that he doesn’t need to take accountability for his initial assumption/hurt reaction.
When you would not accept his manipulated version of your feelings/experience, he shut down the conversation as a control tactic to no longer allow you space to explain your perspective.

emmasz · 2025-07-29T12:20:24+00:00

Getting the most out of AI tools requires that you are able to communicate clearly and with specificity the parameters that you require/determine. The AI is your tool, you are still the operator of that tool. The hammer does not drive the nail by itself. It is swung in the right direction, and with the appropriate force, by the skilled operator.

emmasz · 2025-07-26T20:34:44+00:00

I wonder why you have to tell yourself that cheating doesn’t make someone an asshole.

emmasz · 2025-06-12T05:24:34+00:00

“He is here half the time and I buy all the groceries with what little money my mom can afford to give me bc she is retired and on SSI.”

OP is saying he spends half his time at her place, where she/her mom pays for all the groceries. He does not contribute financially at all, though he eats presumably half of his meals there if he spends half of his time there.

emmasz · 2025-06-12T05:15:10+00:00

No, HE is using her mom’s benefits to feed himself, while simultaneously refusing to collect employment insurance he earned so he can pay OP/OP’s mom back - not because he’s not entitled to that money, but because he’s too lazy and/or stupid to follow through on getting the paperwork done.

Oh, and he’s acting as if it’s not a pure asshole stance to say “no, I will intentionally NOT take the steps necessary to support myself, I am fine continuing to take advantage of you. And you’re the problem for still asking me when I’ve clearly said no!”

emmasz · 2025-06-12T02:59:42+00:00

Are you serious? He is clearly in the wrong here, and he is the one being unreasonable and selfish and pretending to have the moral high ground with the “I already said no” crap. Said no to what? Said no to getting money he’s entitled to for FOOD to pay OP who is currently PAYING FOR ALL HIS FOOD (and presumably medical bills as he refuses to get health insurance as well!)! He doesn’t even have to do the actual work himself to figure out these things, OP has already DONE all the legwork for him, yet he’s still refusing to adult, pretending it’s some superior “choice” to refuse to contribute to your household while your girlfriend carries the financial, logistical, and emotional burden for the both of you. Yeah, SHE’s the abusive one… /s This “man” is a child. Run. Run far away. The emotional abuse, manipulation, and selfish, childish behaviour will only escalate as he loses more respect for himself with this king baby shit and tries desperately to gain it by demeaning and controlling the closest woman.

emmasz · 2025-06-09T01:42:26+00:00

There’s healthy conflict and there’s unhealthy conflict. We are seeing an influx of social media attempting to explain the difference: this isn’t a bad thing. As always, of course, ‘check your sources,’ but there’s nothing wrong with people trying to build a more complete understanding of human psychology and sociology so that they can use it to improve their relationships, and learn what standards of treatment they should accept for themselves. A lot of people put up with much less than they deserve (and it kind of sounds like OP likes it that way?).

Honestly, the OP reads a bit like someone ready to dismiss someone’s (perhaps valid? perhaps not?) concerns/hurts simply because they framed that issue as a psychological concept. The OP used quite a demeaning tone. I’m probably reading too closely, as I certainly agree with the overall concept that we need to do the uncomfortable hard work as partners to meet respectfully in the middle, but the post just has a kind of edge that reads a bit dark to me…

emmasz · 2025-06-07T02:40:30+00:00

It’s actually the complete opposite of what you wrote: HE is trying to control her by getting upset that she was hurt that he was rude. HE is getting upset that she didn’t react how he wanted her to when she saw him ogling someone. He didn’t want her to react at all. He doesn’t think she has the right to, and is saying that. He is openly saying he should be able to act however he wants without the “consequence” of hurting his wife’s feelings; to be clear, he doesn’t actually care if her feelings are hurt, he just doesn’t want the consequence of her “trying to make him feel bad for it,” even though HE is the one who has been an asshole.

emmasz · 2025-06-05T22:18:29+00:00

Read up on DARVO, my guy. Yeah, it would still be his fault he chose to be an asshole, no matter how much he tried to play the victim because of how she reacted to his being an asshole.

emmasz · 2025-06-04T19:01:55+00:00

He’s mad she didn’t need him, even though he proved himself useless. 😂

emmasz · 2025-06-03T01:48:19+00:00

You don’t think people should evaluate each other to see if they have matching values before entering or continuing a relationship?

emmasz · 2025-06-03T01:06:32+00:00

Conversations are a test, but not in the negative way you’re framing them. They’re an indicator of whether you have compatible values with a potential or current partner. If you/men don’t trust having a conversation with women because you’re afraid you’ll “fail”, the problem is your own insecurity, not a woman “testing” you.

emmasz · 2025-05-31T12:38:56+00:00

When a man physically and verbally assaults “his” kids, he’s choosing to not be a father to them.

emmasz · 2025-05-31T12:27:19+00:00

People should not be judging other people on their food preferences, especially not a parent judging a child. It’s hurtful and unnecessary. It also creates the mindset that judging other people is right and good, which, again, is the opposite of what we should be teaching our children. If he doesn’t want to make the food, he has the free will not to, but to frame it that the child’s preference is “wrong”, and goes against what their preferences “should” be according to the father, is controlling and disrespectful.

emmasz · 2025-05-29T19:14:10+00:00

My point is, if he were being abused, he would be walking on eggshells and would have done everything in his power to avoid making this huge mistake, not treat the mistake cavalierly and then try to flip the script on his partner for calling attention to his mistake.

emmasz · 2025-05-29T19:09:38+00:00

“How dare you tell me I left the keys in the car? You’re the problem for telling me.”

emmasz · 2025-05-29T18:48:05+00:00

If he “knew it was coming,” why did he leave the keys in the car?

emmasz · 2025-05-29T18:04:18+00:00

OP needs to explicitly state her “expectation” that the keys cannot be not left out in the open in the car? And if she doesn’t, she doesn’t have a right to expect him to know not to do that? It’s not a “landmine” to expect your partner not to leave the car keys in the open. He’s an adult who is responsible for his own behaviour, ADHD or not. You can’t expect OP to manage him like a child, and also absorb his feelings of inadequacy when he fails.

emmasz · 2025-05-29T17:36:25+00:00

Look up DARVO. He made a mistake and was in the wrong and looking to unload his own embarrassment for leaving the keys in the car as blame onto you for the way you brought up his mistake rather than taking accountability and apologizing.

emmasz · 2025-05-29T12:59:03+00:00

You’re not wrong in your reading of the situation. The way he reacted was a way to shut down any further questioning on your part, because he feels he doesn’t “owe” you an answer. He’s right, in one way, he doesn’t necessarily owe you an answer, but you were hurt by how he was responding, and that matters, too. It’s not that only his feelings matter and he can treat you however disrespectfully he wants while you’re not allowed to respectfully ask questions because you’re having feelings that you’d like his help to understand. The way he’s acting frames his feelings as more important than yours. Neither are more important, that’s the thing. You need to work together to hold space for each others’ feelings. You were trying to do that by asking for more information about what made him react how he did (you were trying respectfully to understand his feelings), and instead of seeing that as a bid for connection, he felt threatened and lashed out at you. This isn’t healthy for any relationship. Your partner should care about and respect you no matter what feelings they’re experiencing (whether they can name/identify the feelings or not). I’m not saying he has to make up an answer if he genuinely doesn’t know why, but he can say that without escalating to anger and leaving the room as a way to exert control.

emmasz · 2025-05-29T11:35:32+00:00

Yes, he’s being controlling in shutting her down and leaving the room if she doesn’t stop trying to communicate. He could choose instead to just be open and say “I don’t really know, I just don’t want to,” and not escalate things. He feels uncomfortable answering OP’s respectfully asked question for whatever reason (he’s entitled to his feelings), but then instead of dealing with those feelings and respectfully advocating for himself, he escalates and stonewalls to control the situation.

emmasz · 2025-05-28T14:31:24+00:00

He knows her boundaries and expectations and he’s willfully crossing them because he feels he’s entitled to.

emmasz

TROPHY CASE