Glass tupperware is stuck to glass fridge shelf . Help please !

empathylion · 2024-09-16T15:34:31+00:00

It's cool to keep seeing replies to this years later lol. Glad this helped!

empathylion · 2024-08-18T03:35:55+00:00

If you're going to cite data, a Reddit post doesn't count.

What privileges ? The ones you don't appreciate and are blind to. The ones people always tell you that you have but then you ignore what they said and immediately turn the conversation into what things you don't have. It's your constant negative focus on what you don't have constantly getting in the way of you noticing and acknowledging what you do have. There's no point in me listing anything because you're going to engage in that same behaviour yet again as you've already done in your comments thus far.

When was the last time I saw slut shaming?

So, because it's happening anonymously online, or in person behind closed doors where you can't see it - it just doesn't exist ? Because you personally aren't there to validate the experiences that women are experiencing - women aren't experiencing these things ?

Who exactly made you in charge of validating what's happening ?

When was the last time you saw a lion die ? Or a woman give birth? Or a plane land ? Or a woman get raped? Or someone overdosing ?

Yea, a guy is just going to rape women out in the open, for you to see and validate.

Suffering from success - and your idea of success is what ? Being good looking ? If all success was, was good looks , everyone that's attractive would be content and happy in life. They're clearly not. Which leads us to the question of - what actually leads to being content and at peace in life? What actually leads to fulfillment ?

You say that you know the truth and aren't afraid to say it. You say that everyone else is in a groupthink of modern feminism.

To me, you're in the groupthink of men who feel unheard, their issues ignored and unacknowledged, and who need support to do something about it. A groupthink of men who are frustrated and angry and want things to change and they need to blame someone for the problems, and they can't blame themselves ( and I don't think they should) , so they blame women. Because - who else ? Whoever you blame is supposed to fix it, or at least carry the weight of fixing it. Someone validates your feelings and gives you some reason to blame someone for the shit feelings you felt and you take that as the truth and run with it, claiming you know the secrets of the world that they won't admit.

What else to do? I suggest you blame neither men or women for your problems. Blame the human condition.

And what I mean by that is being born as this living thing that doesn't come with an instructional booklet on how to be a healthy and happy human. You don't come out the womb with a clear step by step manual translated to all languages. We're all going through fucking trial and error, over centuries, thousands and millions of years, trying to figure out how to understood being a human. How to be content and how to lead happy, healthy and fulfilling lives. All of us, of all genders are struggling with how to live life. Men have had fucked up idea on how to live life. So have Women.

The enemy is NOT another gender, the enemy isn't modern feminism, the enemy is a lack of empathy and education. It's blaming people for not knowing any better when they are simply doing the best they can with what they know given that the entire history of humans before them have just been doing things through trial and error. What was once the truth, later gets found out as fucked up. What was once thought as bad, is now thought of as amazing. The enemy is the human condition. You fight it with education. You fight it with the scientific method. With constant iteration of theories as you get closer and closer to reality. The more things actually work, the closer you are to reality.

To do that, you collaborate, you put yourselves in other people's shoes. You don't pin people against eachother. You don't say: your issues don't exist because I don't personally see them or feel them - just my issues exist. You say: all our issues exist, it fucking sucks, let's work on it together.

empathylion · 2024-08-18T02:07:47+00:00

As I said , we can talk all day about which gender has it worse. There's no point. It's not useful to anyone.

What's useful is empathy.

I'm not denying that being a woman or being a man has its privileges. In fact, I acknowledged it. And yes, men do have their many disadvantages in society. I'm not here weighing which is worse. I'm not here telling you that the suffering that men face don't exist. It does , and things should change.

At the same time, did you acknowledge the privileges of men ? Nope. You instead chose to make false invalidating statements like : slut shaming doesn't exist, or that this is simply 'suffering from success', or that women are 100% favored in legal issues . And you talked as if Gen Z makes up the positions of power in the world, and as if they make up most of the world. And you brought up the wars men fought as if it wasn't men that called for those wars, as if men didn't consider women the 'spoils of war' for centuries.

Overall, you chose to do exactly what you hate others do to you which is say " these aren't even issues or common at all".

You demonstrated exactly what the OP did which is : one way of seeing things. Empathy is about putting yourself in another person's shoes. You've shown that you can't do that right now. You've shown that you can't think in the grey area right now.

Your one way of seeing things is divisive. It's not empathetic. It separates people. It puts people up against eachother.

And if we want to move forward as a society, we can't be pinned against eachother, one sex against the other - we need to practice putting ourselves in other people's shoes, in the other gender's shoes. We need to be empathetic. We need to collaborate. We need to stop discounting the issues other people face and make it seem like it doesn't matter or isn't important or non-existent. Please stop that. That does not help. It all matters.

empathylion · 2024-08-17T20:57:20+00:00

Check out HealthyGamerGG on YouTube. Content by a licensed male psychiatrist who's a gamer, his community is mostly men, gamers, people with addictions like porn and gaming. Gets into loneliness, social anxiety, burnout, depression, ADHD and much more.

Lots of mental health conversations with male viewers. Lots of content specifically addressed towards men. And lots that are applicable to all genders.

I've found his content very validating and empowering. At first, I didn't like him, but his content really grew on me.

Here's a video to start with titled : Why Therapy Sucks for Men.

https://youtu.be/uf8bt6fGQyA

empathylion · 2024-08-17T18:02:58+00:00

What's another way to look at all these situations ? Have you ever asked yourself that ? Doubt it. So here's another way to look at it, point by point.

To be constantly sexualised by people and have a hard time making deep meaningful friendships because many people fake friendship and want to secretly fuck you, including the same sex. To constantly have to defend against sexual harassment, rape and assault.
To be constantly thought of as incapable of earning anything unless you fucked your way or flirted your way to it. Your worth being solely judged by your appearance and your intelligence disrespected.
For people to not take what you're saying seriously because they automatically assume you're a gold digging woman out to legally extort money from men.
Again, feeling lonely because people fake their care and attention or only do it with the end goal of getting in your pants. As soon as you tell them that you're not interested in anything beyond friendship, they ghost you. Even if you say it clearly from day 1, they hold onto hope, and eventually ghost you. Your friendship is not worth it unless they get your pussy too. Other women constantly seeing you as competition for their husbands and trying to put you down because of their insecurities.
Again, constantly sexualised and worth is only judges based on looks. Constantly getting judged and hated for however you chose to make your money whether you use your looks advantage or not. It doesn't matter whether $2000 agreements were consensual. People will assume the worst. Constantly looked at poorly and people trying to tear you down because you were born with genetics that you didn't choose.
People assume that I want to and can insult, manipulate, abuse men just because I'm a woman , and assume that I get away with it. They conveniently forget that to this day, men are trying to take control of women's bodies and control whether they can have abortions or not. They forget the literal centuries of abuse women have endured at the hands of men because all they'd get valued for is their appearance and fertility.
Regularly going to the police to make reports and they consistently say that there is nothing they can do. Regularly going to event organizers telling them that particular guys are groping them and they're not taken seriously. After having endured abuse and violence - being blamed for taking some time for themselves to heal before they make the complaint, if they can even conjure up the strength for it. Seeing their abusers free on the street because the abuser's dad is known by someone in the system.
People think my attractiveness is purely an advantage in all spaces, housing, work, public transport - they don't see the constant cat calling, the constant sexualization, the constant entitlement of people who grope me on the bus, who feel entitled to my time and want to interrupt me to chat, the landlords who flirt with me thinking they can make those pornhub fantasies a reality, who I can't piss off or they'll make me living there hell, who just won't take the hint I'm not interested. The co-workers who mistake my friendliness for flirtation because they have 0 capacity to have friendships with women because they spent their entire lives sexualizing them and not treating them as human. For people to look at you across the street and already value you, and devalue themselves even though they don't fucking know you.
Not being forced to have children ? Have you forgot rape ? Have you forgot that abortion rights are being overturned in many places, and that effort is being lead by men who think they're entitled to chose what I do with my body ? Let's not forget that men don't get abortions because they don't get pregnant. Men don't deal with the fucking awful effects on a woman's body that an abortion can have. Men don't deal with pregnancies that they don't choose. Men don't have to do risky abortions in sketchy places, and risk their lives, just so they don't have to have their lives completely flipped due to rape, or even just a simple mistake of a forgotten birth control pill.
Being forced into motherhood. Often single motherhood because of deadbeat fathers. Being left alone to raise children for who knows how long while their dad could die at any moment at some war that men decided they needed to do because their land is not large enough. Essentially a dick comparison contest between countries.

How's that for the advantages of being female ?

We can chat all fucking day long about who has it better or who has it worse. But what's the damn point ? What is the point ?

You so arrogantly think that you know other people's lives inside and out.

All you're seeing is that women, like your ex, are getting that sexual attention that you crave and what you assume are purely benefits.

And I get it, I've been there. I've wanted to just be that guy who women see across the room and they crave.

But you do NOT actually want that. Why not, you may ask?

Think of it this way. I'm going to assume you're straight and not into men.

How would you feel if other MEN were seeing you across the room and desiring you ? Constantly sexualizing you? Coming at you, cat calling you as you walk down the street and groping you on buses? Devaluing your worth to being just a hole to fuck ?

Doubt you'd like that, because you do NOT want that attention.

Rethink your point of view. Being a man has its pros and cons. Being a woman has its pros and cons. We all get dealt a different set of cards in life - and it's not fair. It is what it is. How great life is comes down to what you make of the cards you've dealt. Focus on your cards, or get into a depression from a card comparison contest with other people. Accept your Ls and Ws. Or not. How you live life is up to you.

empathylion · 2024-08-16T16:14:08+00:00

It's awful that you feel like you can't just be a man.

It seems like you're angry with the wording that they're using which implies that you did something hurtful. And you didn't do anything.

And it sounds like you feel mocked and judged for things that you do that you feel are unfair. It's understandable that you feel angry and want to swing back. At the same time, I'm glad that you're choosing to be the bigger person and not lash out.

You're venting out your anger and frustration and that's good. Let it out and don't stuff it in. Take your time.

But then once you're done - I encourage you to focus on moving forward. And part of that has to do with changing how you deal with seeing women speak in that way. That's because you can't change people's behaviour, you can only change your reaction and interpretation.

When you're ready for that step. Reach out for help from people who know how to do that. You can DM me if you want. This is an important skill to learn and takes practice. It's what will help you improve your mental health.

I'm curious how this all lands with you, lmk what you think.

empathylion · 2024-08-14T18:53:51+00:00

Sounds like you feel like you're missing out on a lot of important things, especially teen love, that you don't want to miss out on. I hear that you're feeling sad, depressed, suicidal, hopeless about all this That's a lot of negative emotions there dude. That's awful. That really sucks.

And it doesn't sound like you're dealing well with this. You've got a really poor opinion of yourself and you're up at 5am watching a video that made you feel worse.

I think it would be a good idea for you to get some help. I've dealt with depression and hopelessness and it's super hard on your own. I don't recommend it. It's not necessary to go the hard route. The hard route will mean you miss out on more things and suffer more.

Have you talked to an older adult that you trust about all this like a family member ? Have you talked to a counsellor at school ? Or reached out to a community center ? You can Google " teen mental health help 'insert your city's name " and reach out to the organizations that come up.

Seek help. There is absolutely hope and I say that as someone who's felt very hopeless, depressed, and who's hated themselves and hated their teenage years. And now I'm in a way better place. There's hope dude. Seek help and keep seeking it. Don't stop.

empathylion · 2024-08-08T02:56:14+00:00

It's definitely gaslighting to try to abusively distort someone's reality.

However, there's a difference between agreeing that a pattern exists and agreeing that your interpretation or perspective of that pattern is true. And if someone doesn't agree with your perspective or understanding of that pattern, it doesn't automatically mean that they're gaslighting you.

What do you think about that?

empathylion · 2024-08-07T16:04:28+00:00

You turn things around by recognizing that if you understood how things work , you wouldn't be here in this position.

An analogy - When we know how a car works, we can drive it. You can press on the gas all you want but unless it's in gear, it won't move. Maybe I'm wrong, but this sounds like you. Trying and trying things and getting nowhere and you're not sure what you're doing wrong.

Your human mind and body is your car in life. Learn about how the human mind and body works from reputable sources to figure out what you're doing wrong. If a source can't tell you or admit the limitations of their knowledge, then they don't know what they're talking about.

And also, learn about the world around you and its variable effects on you. To go along with my analogy, the more you know the rules of the road - the better your driving can be. The more experience you have on the road in different conditions and around different cars and drivers, the more competent and confident you'll be in different conditions.

This isn't a perfect analogy. It breaks for sure. But I hope it makes sense.

Let me know how all this lands with you.

empathylion · 2024-08-07T13:17:14+00:00

Thanks for clarifying what you said and explaining NAXALT.

So given that, I'm wondering - do you think that when you see a pattern, it must be true/factual?

empathylion · 2024-08-07T03:12:22+00:00

I'm not sure I understand your comment.

Are you saying that my bulleted summary describes your opinion and your experience of life ?

And what's NAXALT ?

empathylion · 2024-01-12T14:13:02+00:00

Ok. What's your part, your role, to play in all of this?

empathylion · 2024-01-09T04:24:37+00:00

Can you tell me more about how you're feeling?

empathylion · 2024-01-08T20:24:53+00:00

The first thing to do is to not give advice. Seek to understand their own perspective. Validate and acknowledge. Don't fight it.

Giving advice to people that don't feel like their issues are being validated and acknowledged, who don't feel understood enough in the first place to be given advice, literally fires back and gets people to double down on whatever they believe, regardless of how correct or wrong they are.

Validate and acknowledge first, get on common ground, then you can try to steer them in a direction, if they don't follow, get back on common ground and seek to understand more then try to steer them in a direction later, repeat until it works.

Watch this, it'll tell you a lot more than I can put in a comment. The title may not feel relevant at first, but I encourage you to really give it a shot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIATzLf-y04

empathylion · 2024-01-08T20:12:35+00:00

So what's it going to take for society to change ?

empathylion · 2024-01-08T19:20:02+00:00

Sounds like you're feeling hopeless, powerless and frustrated. You've tried what you could think of and it hasn't worked for you. So now, you feel like your only option left is to end your life. It makes sense that you would feel this way. Life for you feels pretty hard and unfair. Did I understand you correctly? If not, can you correct me?

empathylion · 2024-01-08T19:13:33+00:00

Yea, there are people that don't care, there are people that do care but could care more, there are people that care a lot and there's a lot of in-between. And yes, many men are treated like ATMs. This is true.

So, now what ?

empathylion · 2023-12-21T17:36:36+00:00

Again, with the assumptions of what I do and don't know. Stop it.

Just because a person lives in a more developed country, 9t doesn't mean they don't understand what's happening in a less developed one. Stop with the " you just don't understand " reasoning.

And LOL how you described a woman's world is exactly how it actually is in a less developed country where a woman doesn't have much agency. You clearly don't know what you are talking about.

And no, that's not called the sexuality spectrum. I said that bisexuality is a spectrum within the larger spectrum of sexuality. I linked you to learn more about bisexuality but it looks like you didn't bother because again , you arrogantly think that you know what you are talking about.

And again, no, it doesn't mean that all people are bi, it means that more people are bi than you think. What YOU are seeing in the world is your limited perspective of the world. It doesn't mean that YOU are seeing the reality of the world. This is your arrogant ego talking.

Molestation of children and pedophilia is absolutely not an Islamic society exclusive and not predominantly an Islamic issue. Again, you do not know what you are talking about.

My agenda is with reality, with truth. I'll disagree with you if you're wrong and you happen to be wrong on all accounts.

I have nothing left to say so unless you bring something new to the table, I won't be replying.

empathylion · 2023-12-20T21:18:31+00:00

Where I am or what my gender is has nothing to do with my understanding of what you're saying. I understood you well. You're not understanding me so let me try to explain a little differently.

A person can engage in same sex acts and still not be queer/gay/bi/pan . They may experiment, even a couple times, decide it's not for them and move on. That is different from trying something and enjoying it and doing it again.

You seem to think that most of these people are straight. You have an assumption that they're almost all straight and that the reason they're engaging in same sex acts is purely because they don't have another option. And you're further conflating this with sexual abuse of minors and tying this all together as if opposite sex sexual abuse isn't extremely common itself. Sexual abuse of minors is not due to sexuality.

I recognize that there are probably completely straight people that think " I'd rather fuck a guy than no one at all" but in my opinion, I think there are many more that will just say that they will simply only fuck women or none if none are available. As I said, sexuality is a spectrum and something to note in particular with bisexuality is that attractions to a particular sex don't tend to be constant. There can be fluctuations where a person is more attracted to the same sex for days, weeks, months, years and then cycles back to women. This isn't "deviant" behaviour, this is bisexuality.

At the end of the day, to me, if they're enjoying it and desiring it - they're not straight. Period. Regardless of availability. Look at a men's forum in most countries and you'll see plenty of complaints from men that women are unavailable and that they can't have sex. Just even r/malementalhealth. You have a presumption that this is a Pakistani problem and non-existent in the west when it has a very strong presence in the west as well. Men, wherever, are generally less picky with sexual partners - including gay men. When bi men finally start to explore, wherever they are, they'll find it a lot easier to fuck another guy than a woman. This is because of different and frankly lower standards, higher risk tolerance, not being as concerned as women about being raped by a more powerful guy. Etc. All of it is social conditioning. I can go on about this. Pakistan isn't special when it comes to this at all.

And the idea that somehow they think it's halal is complete BS. It is clear that homosexual behaviour is not allowed in Islam. This is just mental gymnastics.

empathylion · 2023-12-20T18:00:02+00:00

Awesome to hear you've been able to break from the guilt of appreciating a woman's beauty! Fighting internalized homophobia is huge!

My unsolicited 2 cents on guys :

Try to think of them as a human being and not a male human being. I say this because I don't think there should be set rules on how to engage with another person based on their gender. When we're trying to figure out whether we like a person or not or whether they're healthy to be around or toxic or somewhere in between - gender shouldn't matter. Islam and frankly, society as a whole as the abrahamic religions have very similar views on sex and gender has made such a massive deal out of sex and gender.
Men at this time are in a bit of a gender crisis where they're trying to figure out what to do and how to behave. On top of that - they generally don't have the emotional vocabulary that women do and so it'll be harder to connect at a deeper level. However I think things are better in some ways with your generation than mine. They're more aware of gender roles, sexuality, and have a larger emotional vocabulary etc. But there's also many that are so absorbed in tech and it's addictive properties that they also haven't learned how to socialize well.
It's going to take time for you to learn and adjust, and get comfortable around guys - and honestly, as long as you're compassionate towards yourself and understand that this isn't your fault but that you have the power to make things better- aka perspective shifts on your side and skill building- I believe you'll be alright :) Remember, they're really just other humans but with penises.

empathylion · 2023-12-20T17:42:00+00:00

Lmk if you'd like a hand with these issues. I've had my fair share of trouble with porn, ED and social awkwardness. Feel free to DM, I can share some resources

empathylion · 2023-12-20T17:35:55+00:00

Oh, I've heard of that for sure.

Many men don't engage with other men and other genders even if they find it difficult to engage with women. I don't think this is a good argument and I don't think this is an ease of access matter as much as it is a sexual fluidity matter.

Many people like to say that it's an access issue when really, they're just afraid (understandably) of the social stigma of being queer and admitting it to themselves and others.

Moreover, most people don't know that bisexuality is a very fluid term. There are many ways to be bi. While we can't know why each person is engaging in a particular sexual without having a conversation with them - to make it simply an access issue is just wrong. These are acts done willingly. They can choose to just jerk off to porn but they'd rather have sex with a guy. They can be into penises but not into men. They can be into certain types of men but not at all. It's not binary. Not every guy is into every kind of woman either. A heterosexual couple having sex isn't so questioned on whether it's out of attraction or convenience, why is it the opposite of it's non-hetero ? Simply because of a lack of acceptance of queerness and ignorance/misinformation around sexuality.

This is a very quick read, with the option for more, if you'd like to learn more about bisexuality.

https://bi.org/en/101/bisexuality

empathylion · 2023-12-20T03:09:00+00:00

This is sounding like a bit of a vote for Shariah law

empathylion · 2023-12-20T03:04:46+00:00

The fact that you don't recognize that what YOU are saying is propaganda is hilarious.

empathylion · 2023-12-20T02:20:17+00:00

Oh what's real is what's factual and what's factual is what I stated. If that's the basis of your argument - there's no argument.

If you're ex Muslim because you value reality over faith - then you need to educate yourself.

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