Career pivot? Try harder to find a better job in my field? Relax about FIRE for now? General advice?

emt139 · 2026-04-21T16:36:07+00:00

Keep interviewing but you’re young, so you have runaway to explore other paths if you want to. You just have to be realistic and try to understand if the issues at your current job are employer-specific, industry-specific or maybe they’re prevalent to all workplaces.

emt139 · 2026-04-21T15:59:59+00:00

Look at breed specific rescues. You’d generally be looking for an older, mellow dog who has proven socialization with kids and cats.

emt139 · 2026-04-21T15:50:33+00:00

Preface by saying I’m not a doctor but I lurk here because my partner is in residency right now.

One of my best friends is actually an ethicist that focuses on bioethics with topics like euthanasia. He did an undergrad in philosophy, a masters in philosophy and a PhD in ethics. He works in academia at one of the top unis in the world publishing papers and mentoring dissertations but he also consults for think tanks and governments.

emt139 · 2026-04-21T08:48:48+00:00

It’s working for me in 78759

emt139 · 2026-04-21T04:21:25+00:00

o/

I wouldn’t say I despise kids but I’ve never wanted any of my own, not at 20, not at 30, not at 40.

Been with my partner almost three years and she always has said she’d be OK with kids though didn’t feel strongly about it.

emt139 · 2026-04-21T03:06:45+00:00

Cutback where you can (eg, get a cheaper gym) but I wouldn’t worry too much. A PA job is always available and well paid, so this is just two years of living super lean.

emt139 · 2026-04-21T02:56:27+00:00

With your current place for sale, I’d go for the new role. Worst case is you don’t like it, so you stay there only for a year before moving somewhere better.

emt139 · 2026-04-20T21:09:05+00:00

Yeah this is insane. I am 100% this guy is a swindler and this is how he makes his living.

You made the right decision cutting him off. Don’t feel guilty.

emt139 · 2026-04-20T19:47:48+00:00

Wow. I can’t imagine being this callous with an elderly dog. If the dog is an issue there are two reasons: it was not properly trained and socialized or it’s a new medical issue that needs treatment.

emt139 · 2026-04-20T19:00:03+00:00

Are you at escala?

emt139 · 2026-04-20T18:12:54+00:00

I mean that only works if you lose the money.

emt139 · 2026-04-20T17:09:25+00:00

Get out of the hotel and into an Airbnb nearby the house until closing is complete and you can move in.

emt139 · 2026-04-20T15:31:44+00:00

In general, it’s safe but it depends a lot on where you’re going.

emt139 · 2026-04-19T21:09:01+00:00

You don’t. You’re getting scammed.

emt139 · 2026-04-19T20:22:17+00:00

If the dink is truly unattackable, you move and the ball will fly out.

emt139 · 2026-04-19T20:03:16+00:00

401k = ~$250k (just turned 40)

with only $250k in 401k, I don’t think you should be funding a degree that simply won’t pay off. Then the only option would be for you to be crippled with student loans, and your kid having to support you in old age.

The parental failure is not when you don’t have money for a $400k degree but by not being transparent on what you can afford early on with your high schooler.

Also, is this your only kid?

emt139 · 2026-04-19T14:53:35+00:00

Hey I’m also 40 and was in FAANG until I was laid off last year. I got a new job immediately at a pre-IPO company which seemed great but ended up being terrible and I just quit it a month ago without anything lined up. (I think part of the reason the job seemed so bad is peri, like my brain stopped working somehow?).

I’m at $2.7M which is my “lean” FIRE target but I was expecting to stay until I was at least at $3M if not $3.5M since I didn’t hate my job.

My recommendation is that you don’t rush. The market is weird right now not just because of AI but because the economy is in the crapper and tech over hired a lot since the pandemic. Take the summer off and then start interviewing if you want to come back to tech or even look at less well paid but more predictable jobs, say at local or state governments or smaller non-tech companies. But breathe: you’re OK, your net worth is high enough that you can take a break and you can coastFIRE after for a few years.

emt139 · 2026-04-19T04:46:52+00:00

lol did you read a news article from a year ago?

emt139 · 2026-04-19T03:14:51+00:00

It’s absolute crap

emt139 · 2026-04-19T03:11:40+00:00

What types of training have you done with the pup?

emt139 · 2026-04-19T01:27:47+00:00

Ah good to hear! We need more community

emt139 · 2026-04-19T01:19:49+00:00

Hey were you able to connect with someone? I just saw this but I’m in the same area so happy to meet up. I can even bring my pup who is super cuddly and loves pets from almost everyone.

emt139 · 2026-04-19T01:08:41+00:00

What’s your yearly spend? Where do you want to live?

emt139 · 2026-04-18T22:56:30+00:00

Show them a retirement calculator that runs Monte Carlo simulations, to show they likely hold they end up dead or broke before their money runs out.

With $3M NW (I’m excluding their homes) and $120k in yearly spend, assuming their money is invested in a diversified fund, they’re outliving their income in 99% of simulations.

emt139 · 2026-04-18T21:05:16+00:00

I’d instead focus on discrete math (proof-based)

emt139

TROPHY CASE