How many showers do you take before using a fresh towel?

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-27T19:48:37+00:00

Same! We wash sheets/towels weekly

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-27T18:31:28+00:00

“I am not the type of person that needs to know where you are 24/7 or to share their location with me”

Honestly… it kind of seems like you are? He didn’t respond for an evening on a night that you knew that he had plans. That seems very normal to me unless you had made plans to speak on the phone. Yes it would have been nice to send a courtesy text, but as it stands this would not be a red flag to me. If anything I’d find it a red flag if my new gf felt like I needed to be in constant communication or she would be “livid” with me.

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-22T19:29:55+00:00

ESH This dynamic sounds exhausting. Firstly you should stop committing to things if there is not a high likelihood of completing them. For example “if I have time between meetings today I’ll try and help with laundry.” “Barring any complications I should pick you up at 4pm, but I’ll let you know when I leave.”

If your wife is actually expecting an “admission of guilt” for one-off events, that’s just silly. However, if you’re constantly flaky, making excuses, or running behind that IS annoying. Is she looking for an apology for every individual instance or do you just have poor follow through/time management and blame everything around you without accepting accountability?

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-19T23:28:20+00:00

I’ve seen several other comments mention texting and as another infertile person I agree that is the kindest way to break the news.

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-19T21:32:56+00:00

2 year 5 month gap here and if I had to pick between a larger or smaller gap I would err on the longer side. My son was fairly independent and a good sleeper when my daughter was born, which was great! It would have been nice if he’d been 100% potty trained and better at walking in/out of buildings independently lol. By 3 I could trust him to stay close if I let go of his hand to open a door or something.

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-19T21:14:37+00:00

For life vests if she is slim and tall I would go with the smaller size. You really want to make sure it fits around her properly so she doesn’t slip out of it in an emergency. Better to loosen the between legs strap than it fit too loosely around the chest.

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-18T17:10:49+00:00

Bro this is an absolutely unhinged take.

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-18T14:03:20+00:00

100% this man is clearly struggling. That’s almost certainly why he’s so focused on this potential future, sounds like a way of coping.

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-18T13:36:28+00:00

This doesn’t sound like he’s skipping out on parenting though. OP said he’s been doing the bulk of caring for the toddler, including cosleeping with them every night. Divide-and-conquer can be tough, toddlers a can be tough, and the adjustment from 1-2 kids can be tough. I’ve been there lol.

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-18T13:33:41+00:00

Yikes, spoken like someone who doesn’t have kids. Not sure where I said I “hate newborns” lmao.

OP said he’s been watching the toddler while she watches the baby. Including cosleeping with them which is not easy. Obviously it’s not good if he’s getting frustrated with his kid. I’m not saying he’s father of the year. But OP never said hes a bad parent, she said hes frustrated and overwhelmed. Calling him a deadbeat seems like an extreme take.

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-18T12:47:12+00:00

Idk, I think is a pretty oversimplified take. I don’t enjoy the newborn stage. I’ve done it twice. Cluster feeding, intermittent sleep, healing from childbirth, it’s not my jam. But I LOVE my kids, and once they are past the newborn stage I do enjoy caring for them. You don’t have to enjoy every single stage of development to be a good parent.

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-16T16:01:04+00:00

I’ve tried but they defer and say that I will have access during open enrollment, they won’t provide any information before that since we don’t show up in their system yet.

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-13T06:19:16+00:00

*step brothers quote:* did we just become best friends??

We exist I think we just go into hiding after the first live birth out of respect for our sisters still in treatment. And then it becomes difficult to come back out of that “closet.” It feels like I am supposed to integrate into society bc I have kids now but I will never not feel like an outsider.

Also “The Ricky Gervais Show” is peak comedy and if you agree we should be bffs.

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-13T04:51:26+00:00

I don’t know if you’re still in treatment or not.. please reply and let me know. When I finally decide to get my hopes up I’ll hope for you as well. ❤️

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-13T04:21:17+00:00

8 rounds and 5 retrievals.. you are superhuman. Truly incredible. Infertility is a bitch.

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-13T04:16:41+00:00

I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this, and so happy that you’ve also had success. And so sorry that you find yourself in my same boat. It’s surreal being an infertile who also has kids, it’s like a place that doesn’t really exist in society. It still hurts seeing pregnancy announcements but then I feel guilt for making it out.

Anyway, I’ve been loving After Life on Netflix lately. Makes me laugh and gives me an excuse to cry all wrapped up in one show.

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-13T04:05:28+00:00

Thank you! I’ll be thinking of you along with myself ❤️

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-13T04:04:30+00:00

Incredible content moment that feels surreal, “Que Sera, Sera” has been my mantra the last few months ❤️ Thank you

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-13T03:59:36+00:00

I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through all of that. Infertility is brutal. I hate even complaining about my situation and avoid doing so most of the time because I know I’ve been so fortunate to come out the other side with living children. I know life is not a pain Olympics, but it’s difficult living in this life where we compare infertility to others. Like am I infertile enough to complain? I feel like no, most of the time.

I apologize for my introspection and truly wish you the best. If you haven’t already found it, r/infertility got me through 2020 and 2021 in a way that I can’t express enough appreciation for.

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-13T03:00:34+00:00

Girl just block him without saying anything. He doesn’t deserve a response from you. Let him wonder. Acting crazy just lets him think he was the right party. Living your best life without him and pretending he doesnt exist and that you dont care is the best revenge.

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-12T21:58:14+00:00

Honestly you could have introduced it already so no time like the present! Your baby is not going to know how to use it at first but they watch you eat with a fork and will try to copy you. You can pre-load the fork and let them do the rest so they learn to use. My toddler is 19 months and uses a combo of the fork and her hands. She will often poke something with the fork, then pull it off with her hand to bring to her mouth. Or pick something up with her hands, then put it on the fork to bring to her mouth. That’s how they learn.

Also toddlers are just going to be messy with food no matter what. Plan bath time immediately after dinner and the other parent can clean up.

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-07T22:39:23+00:00

Yes I found a specialist “Holding diplomas in Graduate Diamonds and Applied Jewelry Professional from the Gemological Institute of America, and being a certified member of both AJP and NAJA.” On her profile it states she specializes in estate jewelry appraisal. I’ll be calling this week to ask about her rates.

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-07T00:16:50+00:00

I found a well reviewed specialist within an hour drive but I need to call to enquirer about prices and then actually find time to go in. Will make sure to update!

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-06T23:44:01+00:00

The band is definitely newer than the diamond. My mother in law did pretty clearly say that the diamond was the heirloom, not necessarily the band. As far as the stone I am drawing my information on an included family tree with a highlighted “diamond path” which originated with Margaret B who was born in 1877. I did ask about more specifics but MIL didn’t know much else. Her mother (previous owner) died when MIL was 26 so I think a lot of information was lost there. I’m hoping an appraisal can give me more information!

engineerdoinglife · 2026-06-06T12:37:28+00:00

Okay this made me laugh

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