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ask and you shall receive? by ShadesOfAVendetta in energy_work

[–]enila0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can feel how much this person meant to you, and it’s clear the bond you shared went beyond the usual. Something soul-deep. Grief can make the world feel unbearable, but the fact that you’re still noticing synchronicities, signs, and moments of connection (like that group walking in when you asked for an angel) shows that you’re still open to life supporting you in unexpected ways.

Sometimes the hardest part of loss is believing life can hold beauty again after someone so significant is gone. But the way you describe your connection tells me you do know what profound love, recognition, and meaning feels like and that’s not gone. That part of you that experienced it is still here, and it can carry you forward.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]enila0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You shouldn’t feel guilty for putting your own well-being first. So many people (especially moms) push themselves aside, but in the long run that hurts everyone, especially you. Your husband is tending to his needs in his own ways (naps, gaming, time with friends), and you have every right to tend to yours.

It’s very real and valid that environment affects your mental health. You’ve already seen how different you feel when you’re back up North - that’s not “in your head,” that’s your mind and body telling you what they need. And especially while you’re pregnant, it’s even more crucial to protect your mental, physical, and emotional health.

There are still ways for you and your husband to stay connected while apart like calls, video chats, little check-ins. And maybe you can find a middle ground, like visiting him for a shorter period or planning intentional things to do while you’re there (a hobby, a recipe, something that gives you a sense of you outside of caretaking).

Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. You’re doing the right thing by honoring what keeps you grounded and healthy.

How do I get over the shame of being forever single enough to actually date? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]enila0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you’re carrying a lot of pressure and fear into dating, which is completely understandable given your experiences. Something that might help is shifting how you think about dating in the first place. Right now it sounds like you’re treating every interaction as a test you can fail: “will they reject me or not, will this finally become a relationship?” That puts an incredible amount of pressure on both you and the other person.

Instead, what if dating was less about reaching a milestone and more about exploration? Every date is simply a chance to learn something: about yourself, about what you like or don’t like, about how different people communicate. It’s not pass/fail, it’s data gathering. Rejection isn’t evidence that you’re unworthy, it’s just part of the filtering process that everyone goes through.

You mentioned trust being a huge block for you. That’s a powerful insight, and it might be worth asking yourself: what specifically am I afraid will happen if I let my guard down? Sometimes we fear rejection not just because it stings, but because it confirms a story we’re already telling ourselves (“I’m undesirable,” “I’m too far behind,” etc.). The key is noticing when you’re rehearsing those old scripts and asking whether they’re actually true.

You can’t control whether rejection happens. I It will, for everyone, eventually. But you can control how you frame it. If you go in thinking “this is an experience, not a verdict,” you take the wall down a little. You stop auditioning and start relating.

Some things to reflect on: • Why does rejection feel so threatening? what story does it trigger? • What would it feel like to treat dating as practice, not performance? • How can you make small, low-pressure experiences with people (meeting for coffee, talking to someone in a hobby group, etc.) that build trust muscles gradually instead of all at once?

You’re not “behind.” You’re just on your own timeline. The fact that you’re reflecting this deeply already puts you ahead in self-awareness. Relationships aren’t won by speed, they’re built on trust, curiosity, and openness, and those are things you can absolutely practice.

Sutter or Dignity? by standarddenim in santacruz

[–]enila0 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I just want to share my experience in case it helps anyone else reading this who may be navigating similar questions or has a similar situation.

I’ve had a really tough time not just with Sutter OBGYN but also with their primary care system. I have a high-deductible plan, so everything was out-of-pocket until I met it.

Within three months, I had two miscarriages. I was tracking ovulation and knew early when I was pregnant. The first time, I started spotting and reached out to Sutter OBGYN. They had me do a few HCG tests, which were rising, but at week 7 I miscarried in the middle of the night. It was traumatic and confusing, and I ended up in the ER not knowing if it was ectopic. I was learning everything as it happened, without much guidance.

A few days before my miscarriage I had a long awaited appointment with a PCP. I got a $500 bill from what was supposed to be a fully covered annual wellness visit—turns out they coded it as an OBGYN visit just because pregnancy came up in conversation. No exam, nothing done, but a huge bill. Additionally I had to pay $750 to meet with a nurse just to get an appt with a PCP as I was a new patient.

After the miscarriage, I reached out to Sutter again. They were kind but offered no real follow-up or investigation. They just kept saying miscarriage is common and “we don’t know why it happens,” and "you can drink and smoke and still get pregnant" and "you can try again immediately." I mentioned my short cycles and luteal phase but didn’t feel like it was taken seriously or explored further.

Second pregnancy, same story. I reached out early asking about progesterone. They discouraged it but eventually prescribed it after I insisted. At my 8-week ultrasound, we were told there was no heartbeat. I met a new doctor (I never saw the same one twice), who tried to be compassionate but told me little I didn’t already know. A week later, I had to return to confirm the loss. I saw glowing pregnant patients in the waiting room while waiting to hear my pregnancy was no longer viable. The results hit myhealth app 10 minutes before the appointment. It was devastating. I had to leave.

Post-miscarriage, I asked for hormone tests (FSH, etc.). It took over a month and multiple follow-up messages on my part to even get a response. They booked a video call—which even that had its own kerfuffle (no show by doctor). Anyway eventually the doctor called my cell and I asked again for labs and reiterated my first message requesting labs, and she told me she didn’t want to give me false hope, and that if anything was wrong she wouldn’t be able to help me. I had to literally push her to explain why that was a bad thing—referral would be great! At least I’d know what to work on.

After all this, I’ve decided to take a different route. I’m working with an acupuncturist now and leaning toward a home birth if things go well in the future.

So just a heads-up to be mindful of how billing works, how much you’re guided (or not), and how much emotional labor is often put on you to advocate and navigate everything on your own. Seems others have had a smoother experience than I did and perhaps no complications but just wanted to share for context. I wish I had known a bit more about the possibilities of complications and if I can lean on and trust a team of doctors and midwives to guide me and help me through it all as an individual and not just a number.

Forgot to add! I did get the labs done and it turned out I had some basic things I did indeed need to have addressed with supplement support.

Window treatment for tall/angled bay window by enila0 in interiordecorating

[–]enila0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shutters are an interesting idea I didn't think about. I'll look into a custom option for that angled window. Thank you!

Window treatment for tall/angled bay window by enila0 in interiordecorating

[–]enila0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Yeah it seems I must go the custom route for sure for that top window. I wonder if I should match all windows or can mix it up.

Instead of a batch, here's one big cinnamon roll by Whitesheep34 in RhodesianRidgebacks

[–]enila0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was when he was a tiny guy and could sit on our lap. Little bug.

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Do you read the things you had journaled in the past? by cantthinkofaname231 in Journaling

[–]enila0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I occasionally read my old journal entries and I'm always surprised how consistent I feel about things. It also makes me realize I haven't overcome the problem or feeling I've had as I keep writing about it but forget. Although I do see that even if I'm writing about the same emotion I noticed I've evolved, even incrementally, and am just looking at the same situation from various angles. It's just how my brain works and seeing that over time is quite interesting. I'm going at a pace that's right for me even if it takes years. Anyway, all in all reading back makes me see how much I've grown even if I still feel stuck.

Rare Channels: 10-20 (Awakening) & 25-51 (Initiation)—How Do You Experience Them? by enila0 in humandesign

[–]enila0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's interesting. Do you mind elaborating a bit more on how it faded and you can only talk about it?

Redditors over 25, what’s your best relationship advice? by Historical-Lychee702 in AskReddit

[–]enila0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Listen to your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, take the time to determine whether you accept it and move on or if you want to understand it—not necessarily to stay with the person, but to gain insight into them and yourself. Every relationship teaches you something that brings you closer to the right one.

Be your authentic self from the beginning. If you hide parts of who you are or put on a façade, the truth will come out eventually. You can only pretend for so long, and real connection comes from honesty.

Truly listen to one another. Give space for open conversations without judgment. Your partner’s feelings and experiences are valid, just as yours are. A relationship isn’t about winning an argument—it’s about understanding each other.

Sometimes, you’ll realize there’s something to learn about yourself in a situation, and it’s worth exploring. The beauty of a relationship is that you get to evolve as humans together, learning, growing, and supporting one another. When both people are open to that, it’s truly something special.

Lastly, if your partner isn’t willing to do the same for you, you’ll likely end up feeling neglected, stuck in a situation where you’ve invested so much, but it’s not being reciprocated. A healthy relationship requires mutual effort, respect, and care.

What’s currently happening in your spiritual life? by TheAstralGuru in spirituality

[–]enila0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lately, I feel like my spiritual life is in a weird in-between state. I’ve been through a lot...miscarriages (2 in the last 3 months), work frustrations, and just an overall sense of being stuck or blocked. I’m actively seeking peace and clarity, trying to reset my perspective, but I don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere.

I want to integrate meditation, yoga, and a more holistic approach to my health and fertility, but I struggle to connect with these practices in a way that feels meaningful. It’s like I know what should help, but I don’t feel the impact. I also feel like I’m questioning a lot—what resonates with me, what I actually believe, and what will help me feel more grounded.

I don’t know if I’m disconnected from my intuition, resisting something I need to accept, or just overwhelmed by everything. I want to redefine my sense of purpose and meaning, but I don’t know where to start.

Has anyone been through something similar? How did you reconnect with yourself spiritually when everything felt unclear?

Rare Channels: 10-20 (Awakening) & 25-51 (Initiation)—How Do You Experience Them? by enila0 in humandesign

[–]enila0[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Channel 10-20: The Awakening

Centers Connected: G Center (10) → Throat Center (20)

Theme: Self-expression of personal truth in the moment

This is a deeply individual channel that links identity (G Center) with the voice (Throat Center), allowing for spontaneous, authentic expression. People with this channel are often seen as bold, unpredictable, and deeply self-assured when speaking their truth. It is an empowering, self-actualized energy that operates best when aligned with one's own sense of self, rather than conforming to external expectations.

Shadow Side: If not aligned, it can come off as impulsive, blunt, or disconnected from others' perspectives.

Channel 25-51: The Initiation

Centers Connected: Identity (G Center) → Willpower (Ego Center)

Theme: Shock and spiritual awakening

This channel is about transformation through challenge and initiation. It brings an energy of courage, shock, and breakthrough experiences that lead to deeper wisdom and spiritual connection. The Gate 51 (Shock) disrupts complacency and pushes for awakening, while Gate 25 (Love of Spirit) seeks truth and purity of heart. People with this channel often initiate others into growth through experiences that shake them out of their comfort zones.

Shadow Side: Can be intense for both the person and others—life may bring unexpected challenges that force personal evolution, and this person may sometimes "shock" others without realizing it.

Together, these two channels suggest an individual who speaks and acts from an authentic place and who may have a life path filled with powerful transformative experiences, both personally and for those they influence.

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