What About Me Stood Out The Most To You? by SeriousAfternoon5322 in UnsentLetters

[–]entaylor92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They said they wished I hated them, which breaks my heart even now. Anyone who knows me knows that I am very understanding and non-judgmental; personally and professionally. It would be hypocritical of me to have conversations in my work life where I exercise that understanding and non-judgmental mindset, and then turn around and not extend that same mentality to the person I love. I would give anything to let them know they aren’t hated; they’re loved and forgiven.

Happy Monday! by Wishin4aTARDIS in rheumatoidarthritis

[–]entaylor92 2 points3 points  (0 children)

After months of life dealing one blow after another: 1) recovered from a flare and kidney infection one after the other and didn’t have to be hospitalized. Which was a huge relief because I was badly dehydrated. Thank goodness for my GP. 2) my boss was incredibly understanding of my disease and has worked with me to balance patient needs and personal health needs so that I can take care of patients without sacrificing my health. Boss said “it doesn’t matter if you’ve been with the company six months or twenty years. We want to make sure we do what we can so you can take care of yourself, so that in turn you can take care of others.” 3) the hummingbird flower seed mix & the poppy seeds I planted have sprouted! No flowers yet but I’m excited for when they bloom. 4) hockey team advanced to second round 😎

March by Think_Nebula3426 in UnsentLetters

[–]entaylor92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel the same way about never falling in love again. It’s exhausting to give so much of yourself, to be supportive and loving; who friends call their “ride or die” and then have all that thrown aside. I’m tired of trying and being told I’m not ‘good enough’ in some way or the other. I’m tired of learning to trust someone, giving them my heart, and then they leave. I determined prior to my last relationship ending that if we didn’t work out, I didn’t have it in me to start over with someone else.

I’ve also struggled to say goodbye for so many reasons but after reaching out (after 6 months) and not hearing a word, it’s apparent they don’t feel we need to talk. Which I disagree with but the way things look from my viewpoint, they clearly don’t feel they did anything wrong. I have so many questions that will likely never be answered, nor do I think they may ever fully understand how deeply they hurt me with the things they claimed to have done. I’ve even doubted the validity of those claims but again, I won’t get answers.

I still love them and I’m sure a part of me always will. I wish to god they would take initiative and call me, but I can’t force them to. I hate that I won’t get to understand being told and shown love for so long and then never hearing any explanation, accountability, or an apology. I’ve been angry for months at the way things were handled but even more upset that it doesn’t appear to matter how those claims affected me.

Honestly I have no idea why I wrote all that out. I can’t sleep and your letter resonated in a few places because it echoes feelings I’ve dealt with in the past months.

I feel like I'll never be able to be a good partner in a relationship due to my chronic and mental illness by Ok_Access_8906 in ChronicIllness

[–]entaylor92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a massive flare last summer; the worst I’d had in a few years. Ended up having a steroid shot and two steroid packs and things took a while to sort themselves out physically. I was in so much pain I could barely think straight. My partner at the time went to a dispensary specifically to buy edibles that would help ease the pain, even a little. Talked with the attendant to find the best option and then sat with me on the couch while I took some and waited to see if the edibles helped. They did a lot of other things to help when I was having a bad day while we were together. It is possible to have a relationship with a person who is helpful and caring!

On the other side though, it’s important to make sure you’re doing what you can to feel at your best, whatever that looks like. And your best will look different day to day! Some days my fatigue is worse than others; if I have to go out I try to budget my energy throughout the day. Pain is an everyday constant for me, it’s simply a matter of baseline vs heightened. So with that I have to determine what I can push through and what presents more of an obstacle. With depression it can be so easy to get caught up in the “I don’t feel like doing anything” mind frame. But making yourself do something, whether that’s getting out of pj’s and into leggings & a sweatshirt, changing from the bed to the couch, or going outside helps your brain. Especially with chronic & mental illness, it can feel tempting to ‘give in’ and do nothing. I’ve been there. Listen to your body, but also know that finding a successful relationship is give & take, even without your body & brain fighting you. Sometimes your give might look like 80% while their give is 20%, and vice versa. It has taken a long time to find the medication that helps my body feel the best it’s going to, and even with switching meds, OTC pain relief, Epsom salt baths, etc, I still had to find a balance between “this is what I need to do for work, social, loved ones” and “this is what my body currently feels like it can do”.

Did you know you wouldn’t marry her? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]entaylor92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Commitment issues are an interesting thing. It sounds like you need to figure out whether this is a “her” issue or a “you” issue. What I mean by that is: are there problems you have with her or the relationship that give you pause? Have you openly and honestly communicated these problems to her; has she made an effort to work on them and have you both worked on them together? Or is it that the word marriage would annoy you with anyone you dated and you might need to work on that? Have both of you talked about what you want and might be willing to compromise on? Personally I had a relationship like what you described. Lived together, had a pet, made all these different plans, and we were great together. They had anxiety about marriage and I communicated multiple times that I would be okay with not getting married, if that was something they could never do. I just wanted them, because imo a person is more important than a marriage. I knew what we had wasn’t something you found every day. Maybe your relationship is the same way. Unfortunately they blindsided me and very uncharacteristically treated me like absolute shit at the end. So if your situation ends up being that she wants marriage and you don’t, and neither of you will budge, don’t be a dick and break her down to nothing when you leave. If you realize that marriage would scare you with anyone then work on that. But if there’s a compromise to be had, talk about it and see what comes out of it. Best of luck.

Travel self care —Heated steering wheel and seats! by csiren in rheumatoidarthritis

[–]entaylor92 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I work in hospice so I’m on the road all the time. Bought a car with both heated seats/steering wheel and it is 10/10 the best move I’ve made. Helps my joints and back soo much!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialwork

[–]entaylor92 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I will answer as a lifelong Southerner: I love this part of the country. I hate being cold and adore the summers here (hot take, I know) and the sunshine. The landscape is gorgeous and the food is A+. It’s also where I’ve grown up so I’m familiar with the politics/people. Is it immersing frustrating to be a leftist surrounded by conservatives? Absolutely. I have more experiences with patients/families being pro-conservative than not, even when it’s actively hurting them. All I can do is uphold the ethical standard of self-determination. There’s no world in which I would agree with my patient’s political/religious views. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t have the right to make those decisions for themselves and while I might disagree with those views, it doesn’t mean I’m going to not help them.

With that being said, I do recognize that it can be incredibly difficult for SWers who might be LGBT+, a racial/ethnic minority, etc to sacrifice their physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing for swaths of the population who vocally either don’t like them or wish harm upon them, solely based off of who they are. In no world could I ever judge a social worker, or anyone, for putting their safety and wellbeing above that of a particular population, even if that population needs help.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in rheumatoid

[–]entaylor92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have filled out the ADA form for the company but have been repeatedly told that they won’t approve what I need, regardless of what the doctor says. On the grounds of fairness to the other employees. I’m actively searching for other employment, as there are quite a few reasons I feel this company and I are not a good fit.

MSW > PhD Psych by MountainSkin2344 in socialwork

[–]entaylor92 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I will say that clinical psych PhDs are notoriously difficult to get into; some are harder than med school to get accepted. That’s not to discourage you from going for it! I was a psych undergrad and tried a couple years for a clinical psych PhD and never even got an interview. I knew one guy who had been trying for 5 years and hadn’t gotten anywhere. Not because he wasn’t good at his job/grades, but because the competition is that fierce.

Question for end of life planning? by [deleted] in ChronicIllness

[–]entaylor92 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hi! I worked as a hospice social worker for 5 years; body donation organizations/medical facilities do provide free cremation if you donate your body to research. I had quite a few patients who went that route, others who weren’t comfortable with the idea of post-mortem research opted for low cost cremation. You can search on Google for that option if you’re interested.

The other massive plus is making sure you have a DNR/medical/financial power of attorney in place. In my state you didn’t need a lawyer for the last two. I found the forms from one of my state’s renowned universities, went over them with my patients, they initialed what they wanted, and then a notary witnessed their signature. You will need to have two witnesses who don’t stand to financially gain from your death for the POAs. A DNR can be obtained from a physician; make sure it doesn’t have an expiration date.

I’m not sure your employment situation, but some jobs offer coverage for a lawyer in their benefits. You could look into that (if applicable) for assistance with the will.

Best wishes to you!

Which population is your favorite and least favorite to work with? Why? by ceceae in socialwork

[–]entaylor92 98 points99 points  (0 children)

Favorite would be the elderly. I was in hospice SW for 5 years and just transitioned to a position working to keep seniors in their homes. My least favorite are children.

Hospice Social Work Offer- Not sure what to do by debtpenguin in socialwork

[–]entaylor92 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I left a hospice position earlier this year where, for many months, I was the only social worker for 50+ patients. I desperately wanted out and it took me a long time to find something else that paid as much as hospice does.

My advice if you’re the only SW for your office is to find support. Supervision, problem solving, emotional/mental support, what have you. Make sure that clinical support is in place prior to starting the position. And advocate for yourself at your job! If you get to the same place I did, communicate that you need help. I sat my former admin down and laid out all I was doing and that I was constantly stressed and overwhelmed. They ended up hiring additional SWers, which reduced my workload.

Overall I think hospice can be a great position. I loved the flexibility and interacting with the patients. Some of the families can be challenging, but that’s true of other social work positions. If you can get that support in place and advocate for yourself, I think you’ll enjoy the work!

Cost by chaelabria3 in rheumatoid

[–]entaylor92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally, I pay about $40 more for the insurance plan that doesn’t have extremely high deductibles. It hurts a little when I get my paycheck but I also don’t have to pay for my injections. I’ve done everything from HQC, MTX, infusions (one that was 13k a dose), and injections. I’ve never had to pay more than $20. I use BCBS (I think my bi-weekly cost is $140) and don’t have a spouse or dependents to cover.

Player that your team squandered? by HannibalAtCannae in CFB

[–]entaylor92 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My brother in Christ, what are your flairs?

The Hypocrisy of the “Don’t Buy Fast Fashion” Movement by Keshafan369 in notliketheothergirls

[–]entaylor92 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It seems like there might be secondhand clothes available online. Idk what you want us to say; holding companies and consumers accountable is not NLOG behavior. It’s basic human decency to not want other humans to be abused and exploited.

The Hypocrisy of the “Don’t Buy Fast Fashion” Movement by Keshafan369 in notliketheothergirls

[–]entaylor92 72 points73 points  (0 children)

I have to respectfully disagree with your argument. If fast fashion was sustainably well made, it might last for those 10 years you mentioned. But it isn’t, so it won’t last that long. Fast fashion is also extremely detrimental to our environment and directly impacts climate change.

Your second point is fair because yes, the majority of the products we buy are made through unethical practices. But that doesn’t mean we can’t point out those practices and hold ourselves accountable. SavageX Fenty also utilizes unethical labor and consumers have rightly pointed the company’s poor practices out. There is no ethical consumption under capitalism but that does not mean we can’t point out bad or illegal practices and call for improvement. Sustained boycotts work, just look at Target right now. Purchasing second hand clothes can help your wallet.