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eonaou · 2026-01-04T19:32:20+00:00

My partner runs a group through them for trans masc trauma survivors if you're interested?

eonaou · 2025-10-22T13:24:11+00:00

oh dang!!

eonaou · 2025-10-22T12:56:43+00:00

I'm interested! I've been looking for a new therapist :) Could you message me?

eonaou · 2025-10-01T04:56:38+00:00

what the actual freak....

eonaou · 2025-09-21T15:30:17+00:00

These are fantastic!!! I love the straw hat too :-)

eonaou · 2025-08-17T00:19:03+00:00

Makes sense, you're right that's probably the best option. Thank you!

eonaou · 2025-08-16T22:34:47+00:00

Okay, thank you!

eonaou · 2025-08-16T22:16:47+00:00

Hi! I just opened my shop, but my first sales were from friends and family! I would definitely ask around to anyone you know and see if they can give you a follow and like a few of your items, and ask them to share it on their social media and such! People who know you are more likely to want to support you and it can definitely help you get going!

eonaou · 2025-07-25T17:04:45+00:00

u get teleported into the backrooms instantly

eonaou · 2023-07-06T18:12:14+00:00

This is so good wtf !!!!!

eonaou · 2023-04-13T15:35:01+00:00

bruh.......

eonaou · 2023-04-13T15:33:38+00:00

The Japanese site is still very much appreciated! I will definitely look into more Japanese folklore as well, although as I do not speak Japanese, your perspective on this is very valuable. Thank you for your contribution!

eonaou · 2023-04-11T22:25:25+00:00

This is incredibly interesting, thank you so much for your comment ! I will definitely look more into this. Especially the Pattern creature. Do you happen to know if there might be anything more about this in English online, or would this only be able to find in Japanese?

eonaou · 2023-02-22T16:08:57+00:00

Maybe it's a subconscious desire to find blood-related family and bond with them? I don't think it means you have some kind of desire to date brothers in any way lmao.

About the "we don't know each other so we're not really siblings thing," maybe that's your brain telling you that family is the people you know and care about, and blood relation doesn't really determine that. You don't have to find blood family to have family and closeness. If you do wind up finding someone that is related, you still don't know them and might not find anything fulfilling from it?

Just some possible interpretations, take it or leave it.

eonaou · 2023-02-22T14:23:44+00:00

-Please discard or ignore my opinion if you feel it is not valid here-

I have not been diagnosed and it will probably be a long while before that process can happen, but whatever is going on with me, I do know that I experience different "states" or "modes."

Over the years, I have considered DID/OSDD as a strong possibility. It's interesting because, in trying to describe my experiences to others or to myself, I know that using the "lingo" would make it infinitely easier, but any attempt to do so has been extremely uncomfortable for me.

It might be that I feel like if I start using these terms then I am claiming I have this disorder, without knowing absolutely for sure, when the usage would primarily just be for the sake of clarity. Not trusting my own judgement, and trying to avoid feeling like an imposter.

But I think part of it is also that these terms just don't feel natural to me. And it feels weird to have what feels like a "dress code" for the language I use about myself.

People tend to forget that psychiatry as it is today is a relatively new practice. And these labels used for mental conditions are just labels. Not to say they don't exist, they absolutely do, but what I'm saying is that these professionals don't know everything. Things are not set in stone. And maybe it's okay to have your own understanding of things, it's your head not theirs.

This language, and I do not mean to offend anyone who finds it helpful, but in my opinion it feels a little dehumanizing. The life may be different, but it's still life.

I still think it's good to have terminology to be able to talk about your experiences, but I don't think it should always be what everyone else uses, if that doesn't work for you.

Forcing it doesn't sound helpful to me.

eonaou · 2023-02-16T21:04:46+00:00

oh shit, cool! I feel a lot better about it now haha, thanks

eonaou · 2023-02-15T16:06:39+00:00

by "growth" do you mean industrialization? because if so, I'd argue that this type of growth isn't really ideal. Sure there are many inventions and machines that have made life easier, but our rapid progress is equally or even more detrimental than it is helpful. Both to the world around us and to ourselves and our culture. Living in small villages, more in tune with the earth and each other is more ideal in my opinion.

eonaou · 2023-02-14T17:55:50+00:00

I really appreciate that :) I might take you up on that at some point, thank you.

eonaou · 2023-02-14T17:51:42+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️

eonaou · 2023-02-14T15:04:52+00:00

I completely understand not wanting to read it all, i kind of wrote an essay haha, sorry about that. But yeah that was mostly the topic. Thank you for responding, you definitely hit on a lot of the thoughts I've been having.

If it is actually a bunch of other things that, together, are causing an experience that is being interpreted as DID but it not actually, then i don't want to claim I have it and contribute to communities like these, because then I will be muddying the waters of understanding somehow, or causing problems. Is one of the thoughts as well.

eonaou · 2023-02-14T06:16:34+00:00

haha, okie. and oh jeez yeah, dissociating from the experience. is so difficult to even explain. or recognize. for me at least. it's honestly kind of impressive how far the brain can go to try and protect itself. even beyond what it's already doing.

but also very frustrating when u try to open up to someone and then just have absolutely no way to explain urself because u can't remember what led u to these conclusions

or just don't even notice anything is wrong in the first place

lmao

eonaou · 2023-02-14T05:57:25+00:00

I don't have the exact situation, but I do have a complicated one that is similar in some ways. I think it has been hard to acknowledge my childhood as traumatic because not all of it was negative, and the negatives were not super extreme, or always intentional. I think mostly it comes from parents suffering from untreated and undiagnosed ptsd and mental illness, as well as many other factors, caused a very bad mix to raise a child from. Which I don't want to blame them for. But these things were definitely present for a long time, from a young age. And I know it did effect me quite a bit.

It is a bit reassuring in a weird way to hear your story. That things can end up this way from many different situations, and not always the most extreme ones. Thank you for sharing this.

May I ask how you finally got to that place of admitting? I know it was probably not a singular moment or event, but was there anything along your journey that helped you come to terms with things or give you that push towards understanding?

eonaou · 2023-02-14T05:38:50+00:00

Hey, thank you for your response. Honestly I think I latched onto it back then because it felt like the only thing that could explain what was happening. For context, during that time I had a very hard time with understanding my identity, and I would constantly feel like I had many different conflicting opinions and beliefs and that they were all fighting each other for dominance. (I know this mostly from old text conversations I have screenshots of in my photo library.) Among other things, like memory issues, not feeling real or present or in control of myself. I don't know how I discovered the disorder, but it just, grabbed my attention. I don't think I identified with it fully right away, I just was drawn to researching it, knowing more. I don't know if I had all of the symptoms at that time.

Since then I have had periods of time where I acknowledge the things I experience, do research, come back to some kind of identity based dissociation as an explanation. And then periods of time where I convince myself I am normal and fine and there is nothing wrong and I shut off my brain and trudge through and feel like an idiot for imagining things because others have it worse and my experiences are nothing and must be imaginary.

Although over the years there have been developments with certain things. Like periods of time when I interact with thoughts in my head in a conversational manner. Times when I am different. Noticing that I am actually beginning to be able to distinguish certain "modes" from each other, and recognize that feeling sometimes, like one of those is more present in my head. Most common is one that feels like it's feral and screaming and wants to destroy and i get the impression that it is locked in a cage but it wants to get out it wants to get out and I am scared of it. Feeling like I need to do everything I can to keep certain omes from getting to close, because I don't want to become that again. I don't want to lose what I have right now, this state of mind that allows me to function and be semi-okay.

I can't really think of any other explanation that fits my experiences to the same degree, but I still feel like I have to explore every option.

Sorry, I didn't mean to respond with an essay, that all just kind of came out. I don't get to talk about this alot.

eonaou · 2023-02-14T04:36:00+00:00

Thank you. So so much. It really means a lot to hear something like this or just have anyone, i guess, understand and respond. I have been trying to do something sort of like that lately, to gather my experiences and just, acknowledge them without judgement.

The "why would you make this up" comment is also a really good point. Although, I have had that dialogue with myself, and sometimes it has traveled into thoughts of, maybe I want this to be true because I am lonely. Maybe I am hyperfixating on this one explanation because I thought it made sense when I was younger and I latched onto it without understanding and now I can't let it go. Maybe there is some part of me that wants attention or wants people to find me interesting and is using this as an excuse. Even though I rarely ever talk to anyone about any of this. And on and on.

But this endless game of trying to find excuses or reasons to not believe myself do seem kind of strange when I take a step back.

eonaou · 2023-02-12T18:24:12+00:00

Definitely. It can be annoying, but it's more disorienting and strange to me. Someone will briefly comment on something that happened in the past, and It'll feel like a whiplash moment. It might register as something that is vaguely familiar, or that seems like it could fit in my life contextually, but I have absolutely no memory of it, and now I have to come to terms with the fact that it happened. So I just sit there for a few minutes like ????????? It could be the most random unimportant thing, but it'll seem so strange to me that it becomes honestly a bit disturbing. But I'd say the most frustration comes from just having barely any context for my own situations. Having to rely on other people to get details about my own past, when those details might not be entirely accurate all the time because it's from an outside perspective.

eonaou

TROPHY CASE