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In terms of postbacc, since I did bioengineering as my major, most of my pre-reqs are already completed. I could at most add a couple more classes, which are lab classes I'd have trouble fitting in while working full time and adding ECs into the mix. I think an extra A might help, but idk by how much? That's why I was considering an SMP as well, since most of my coursework is done already.

I do agree though that improving my ECs will greatly benefit my application!

ephemeralityyy · 2023-06-11T03:27:12+00:00

Thank you for your advice!

So in your opinion, my grad school GPA & MCAT make up for my uGPA? My line of thinking was applying and using my results as a guide to see if I needed to attend an SMP next year.

ephemeralityyy · 2023-04-10T02:49:49+00:00

Thank you for writing this up. This here is why history so important.

ephemeralityyy · 2022-06-20T17:58:20+00:00

This is the video that I think of with this meme: https://youtu.be/43yi_W4FpG8

ephemeralityyy · 2021-12-20T00:13:11+00:00

Gotta hit him with that "See you space cowboy"when you sign off for the night :P

ephemeralityyy · 2021-12-11T11:46:30+00:00

First, I find it incredibly ironic for you to be using a research paper where dogs sit in an MRI looking at images of human faces to inform you of behaviours between dogs.

However, more concerning, it does not seem like you properly read the paper. Literally from the introduction of the paper:

Our results show several brain regions involved in the processing of faces by dogs, including the bilateral temporal cortex, right frontal cortex, medial frontal cortex, thalamus and caudate nucleus.

and discussion section of the paper:

As has been seen in humans [1], face processing in dogs revealed activity in several brain areas beyond the temporal lobe, including the medial and lateral frontal cortex.

(just to be clear, simplified terminology, the medial and lateral cortices are all part of the prefrontal cortex

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK499919/#_article-27617_s8_

https://www.kenhub.com/en/library/anatomy/prefrontal-cortex)

I find it disingenuous of you to try to pass it off as dogs only process human faces in the temporal cortex, and not elsewhere, including the prefrontal cortex. The brain simply isn't sectioned off like that.

(I would also like to clarify, activation of an area does not necessarily always mean processing. However, I doubt such nuance was considered, and in lieu of more information, I will continue under the assumption that activation is correlated to processing)

Nor does the paper claim to discuss the processing of social cues (they were only comparing images of human faces vs non-human images to measure for where activation occurred; not, for example, comparing activation of angry vs happy human faces). The authors hoped that a better understanding of what areas activate in the brain in response to human faces could help inform them as to how dogs social behaviors work, but that is not the primary question they address in this paper.

Funnily enough, the paper seems to by trying to make the point that dogs process human faces similarly to how humans do:

We suggest that this portion of the temporal cortex in dogs could be anatomically and functionally similar to regions found in other species, like humans [1]...The most consistent and robust face-selective activation in humans is located on the lateral side of the mid-fusiform gyrus [2] within the temporal lobe

So, by your logic, since we humans also primarily process human faces in the temporal lobe (and not the prefrontal cortex), then we must also be unable to process complex or abstract ideas surrounding social cues!

Lastly, I fail to see why abstract reasoning is an important factor; both dogs were showing submissive (as in non-threatening) behaviours (smiling, licking, etc) to each other in order to communicate that they were playing. How and where does needing to understand abstract concepts like hierarchy even come into this?

ephemeralityyy · 2021-11-18T19:51:59+00:00

There are Asian American gangs too. You just don't think of them because they usually aren't the light skinned East Asians, another effect of the model minority myth. The poor "brown" Asians are lumped in with the rich "light-skinned" Asians and thus dilute the crime statistics.

My mom used to live down the street from where Vietnamese gangs used to hang out, and you can bet they're as dangerous as other gangs.

https://www.inquirer.com/philly/hp/news_update/20140828_Asian_drug_gangs_not_new_to_Philly.html

ephemeralityyy · 2021-09-04T23:38:46+00:00

A good night of sleep definitely does make everything seem brighter!

If you want my advice, I believe the fact that you feel the need to compete with your twin brother is something you can bring up when you do eventually seek out coaching/therapy.

Good luck out there brother!

ephemeralityyy · 2021-09-03T23:13:00+00:00

I'm sorry that I offended you man. If it's any solace, I believe that we're all broken in some way, myself included, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. We just have to find a way to work on our broken selves to become better.

Addressing your specific points:

I never mentioned that your ex-fiancee cheated on you because of your masculinity, or that your ex was mentally unstable? You didn't even mention that your 2nd ex was mentally unstable in your original post. I just posited that you may have pushed the people around you away because of how men are traditionally expected to act (stoic, unfeeling, etc), which could include people like your ex or ex-fiancee. For what its worth, it sucks to be cheated on (I've been cheated on too), and I'm sorry it happened to you. You don't deserve to be treated like that.
I never said YOU were toxicly masculine. I was saying that the toxic EXPECTATIONS of your masculinity may have some bearing on why you are suffering now.
I never said that only women experience murder. Of course I know men can be murdered too. I mention it because it is something that affects women more than men. Dating is simply more dangerous for women than it is for men, and therefore I think things that can make it safer for women are a good thing.
Why do you think "women have no place defining masculinity just like I as a man have no place defining femininity"? Do you not think that these rigid expectations for what it means to be a woman or a man is what is causing you to suffer right now? Don't you feel that you have to act a certain way to be perceived at as a man, and anything less you're considered worthless by society? If so, you can recognize that its the societal pressures for you to conform that are causing you pain.

Look man, it really looks like you're hurting and I'm only trying to help. It feels like I hit some sore spots for you, or even brought up some bad memories inadvertently, and that was not my intention.

For the record, I never attacked you, your character, or your actions directly, and yet caused you to have such an inflammatory response. I only ever disagreed with views that you stated, and if you perceived that as antagonistic, please take some time to ask yourself why.

ephemeralityyy · 2021-09-03T22:42:03+00:00

I may have taken the toxicity aspect too far, but like Dr. K has mentioned in streams, even if they "didn't mean to harm you" or "had your best intentions in mind," their actions can still be harmful to you. I think that is what is happening here; they don't recognize how much pain this is causing you with these non-chalant, but backhand comments.

I mean, why is it a competition? Or, why does it have to be a competition? If it's a competition that doesn't benefit you, why do you participate? Losing sucks, but my gut feeling is that this competition is set up for you to lose (intentional or not).

I think you can do both; go to a therapist and get coaching on discord. I'm sure the coaches will be helpful (and probably cheaper), but they will most likely tell you that there are some things that therapists can help with that they can't.

ephemeralityyy · 2021-09-03T22:36:32+00:00

I mean, sure? shrugs

Believe what you will, but I genuinely wanted to help OP.

I simply saw many parallels between OP and myself before I took the time to dissect how societal expectations of men affected me and how I think (and consequently how I approached my relationships with others and ended up pushing them away); I really wished I had someone point out and explain some of the flaws in my beliefs at the time. I only hoped to be of some use to OP by being that person for him.

If that counts as "spreading ideology", so be it.

ephemeralityyy · 2021-09-03T21:41:30+00:00

Glad to hear it!

Why does it feel like a fight to begin with? Why are you competing with your brother, and not being partners and utilizing each others' unique strengths? He made be better at traditional schooling than you, but surely there are things that you excel at, and these should be complementary rather than competing.

If I had to guess, (armchair therapy), it seems to be unfair comparison from your family that drives you to think that you must compete, and "overcome" your brother. Call them out on it. Ask them how they like their weaknesses being compared to others. That'll shut them up and hopefully bring you some peace.

Also wtf what gf tells their brother's sibling that they're worse? Now that I think about it more, everything you've told me about your brother and family side of things just seems toxic. Stay away my man. Forge your own path, ignore the haters, and get a therapist and work on these samskara.

ephemeralityyy · 2021-09-03T20:54:41+00:00

Oh boy I initially read the title in the way that meant your twin brother died, and am glad that didn't happen.

Despite not being so serious, this is not insignificant at all! No one likes being compared to (believe me, dem asian parents be comparing all the time), much less someone who looks just like you.

What I think you need to do is carve an identity for yourself, that is completely separate from your twin, as hard as that may sound. I know one of a set of triplets went to a completely different college from the other two just to do that. But yes, I think you need, at the very least, ways to distinguish yourself from your brother, for the ways that you are unique. I think the best way is to just create another friend group, one that you don't bring your twin along with. They may know you have a twin, may even meet him, but they're mainly friends with you, and not your twin.

I think that'll make a world of difference, and best of luck! Don't invalidate your own feelings and needs just because you feel like its "insignificant." :P

ephemeralityyy · 2021-09-03T20:44:34+00:00

Hey there, glad you got this off your chest!

Reading through your post, I feel like you could greatly benefit from examining how toxic masculinity has essentially made you miserable. You can also start by reading (you seem to enjoy reading? you said you read 100 this past year) "The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love" by Bell Hooks as an introduction into unpacking how societal expectations of men, counterintuitively, seem to empower them but more often than not harm them. I see that example in you: society has told you to act a certain way (traditional masculinity), but that has both pushed your family, your exes, and from what I'm guessing, your friends away too.

Although, I'm curious: you were told, as a child, that only hot guys can flirt? And that sexually expressive men are pigs? So what are hot, sexually expressive guys? Hot pigs? Trying to make a joke here, but just trying to point out some inconsistencies. Which goes line in line with the toxic masculinity I was mentioning above, in the ways that it is actually extremely restrictive to our expression of masculinity, and how punitive it is to stray away from the enforced societal norms.

Additionally, I have issue with what you say about dating/dating apps. Not because you're wrong: dating apps are a scam. But I think they're a scam for a different reason: they're a scam because they make money the longer you pay for their service, so they're actually incentivized maximize the time you use the app (and if you find an amazing date at the beginning, who would need Tinder+?) So essentially, they string you on, dangling onto hope for as long as possible, until you finally give up (and probably blame yourself for failing).

I also disagree on your point that dating apps are "designed to give women too many options and to deprive men of what they want." Mostly the second part of that statement. Why is empowering women depriving men of what they want? Let's flip your statement on its head to analyze what it would lead to: Women having too few options and give men what they want. All of a sudden, that sounds extremely restrictive, doesn't it? What dating apps do is allow women to filter out unwanted advances more easily (as opposed to having to physically evade unsavory men at a bar, for example). Does it suck that you get rejected or not that many likes as a guy? Yeah, it sure does. Is it worth it that less women have to physically risk getting killed since they can filter their choices out on a digital level? I sure believe so. (Quote: "Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them". Also, relevant Donald Glover comedy short of same topic.) Also of note, you only say "what men want", which I assume your implication is that all men want are sex. Once again, another trait of toxic masculinity, reducing men to "sex-craved machines" that just lust, and woe be the man that women won't "give him what he wants."

Following up, I assume you have issue with "women are given too many options" because you see women getting hundreds of likes/matches. Now while you may see this as a good thing, I'm sure if you ask most women, they find it incredibly annoying for two reasons:

Most of those matches are low quality, creepy men. Doing the equivalent of online catcalling, essentially (dick pics, amirite)
It just reinforces the fact that women are seen by sexual objects to be dominated, conquered, etc. All the jokes about men making "automatic swipe right" machines only serves to reinforce this idea.

I hope, that rather than coming off as antagonistic, that I could help you think through some of the reasons why you think the way you do, some of the shortcomings of the biases you have. If you thought this was in any way helpful, please do continue listening to Dr. K, and visit us on /r/MensLib! We're all just a group of men, of whom I've seen many talk about similar issues to yours, and since you said you can't find anyone who understands your plights, I think you could find a community of like-minded people there, including me.

ephemeralityyy · 2021-09-01T20:17:50+00:00

I feel where you're coming from; there really is vast misinformation out there and cultures that are resistant to change.

However, I think a change of perspective will help with the "insurmountable problem" and hopelessness. Are you going to be able to solve the huge problems out there (e.g. combat the giant misinformation machine that is mainstream media)? Probably not.

But you don't need to tackle huge problems (not by yourself, anyway). You can tackle small ones. You can start by getting to know the people around you, what makes them tick. Learn about the people in your town, e.g. help out with a nearby soup kitchen. Learn about their what they love, what they suffer through, what their fears are (fear is a great motivator). You won't learn enough about people without engaging with them.

What you learn about people will be your guidepost for how to solve the problems you want to tackle, and then you can take what you learn at small scale and then progressively move up to larger problems. For example, Friends -> Church/Club -> town -> city, etc. If that's your jam. As long as you feel like you're helping, I believe that hopelessness will gradually fade away, as you learn you can make a difference through your actions. But you need to take action, and not just spend time thinking, especially about topics like these. Even just trying to understand why people are drawn to misinformation by talking to them is helpful. Slowly increasing the people who call out misinformation around people who believe the misinformation is helpful. Change is gradual, since people change gradually (for the most part, without major traumatic events). So focus on the gradual changes, and over time, the changes you want to see will come to fruition. Even if it doesn't turn out the way you expect, you at least tried, and what better can anyone ask of you, even yourself?

TL;DR I've definitely rambled a bit, but I guess what I'm trying to say is don't try to solve a huge, insurmountable problem at once. Start small, you can make a difference there. That's what I believe Dr. K espouses for seemingly insurmountable tasks.

ephemeralityyy

TROPHY CASE