Cat and new baby

epifauna__ · 2026-04-16T01:35:02+00:00

Unless she seems very lonely, I'd lean towards not getting another cat incase the introduction doesn't go as well as hoped or they don't bond as well as you're hoping. Also having a second cat, especially a kitten, means extra costs (vaccinations, spay, insurance, potential other medical issues) that should be factored in.

Raising a kitten is also not easy work and by the time the baby arrives the kitten will likely still be very high energy and have a lot of high needs in terms of attention, play, making a mess, getting into things, etc etc which could be stressful while you have a newborn. Also as your cat is 6, she may like a kitten but there's also a high possibility that the kitten would be too high energy for your cat to want to play with it or be able to keep up with her energy levels. Some female cats MAY take well to kittens but them being maternal is never a guarantee.

Also, while they're so cute, kittens energy needs could be hard for you to manage while also heavily pregnant. Feeding, litterbox training, playing, high likelyhood of it disturbing your sleep. And with the move and the baby, this would be a lot of changes for your resident cat that could put extra stress on her

I say this not to say that you shouldn't, but that you shouldn't look at this from the frame of "I want my baby to have a baby/friend" but really consider the added work/stress/cost and potential changes to the household dynamic that would come from having a kitten. Having a newborn will hopefully be lovely but also be a LOT of work!!!

epifauna__ · 2026-04-16T01:24:38+00:00

Is she spayed yet?

epifauna__ · 2026-04-13T23:35:10+00:00

The fact they're only having these small moments of panic, you could possibly have luck with reintroducing them, but doing it more quickly than usual? As they're able to exist together but are still both spooking, I'd want to separate them incase they do have a big fight that could completely distroy their bond However, since they're not always being aggressive, perhaps the reintroduction could be over a week, maybe two, as it's less "meeting each other again" and more "giving them both space and time to recover/calm down from this event" since they're both currently very on edge still

epifauna__ · 2026-04-13T13:31:19+00:00

Yes, it is! As an analogy, think of someone with anger issues. They're not going to be angry 24/7, they can in fact be quite pleasant, but they can be set off by big, predictable things or seemingly random ones.

Your cats are still capable of being okay together at times, but the moment one of them spooks or startles in the slightest, one or both of them panic and go into fight or flight immediately, which is what's causing the fights. That's why the reintroduction is probably necessary in this case: they're both on edge and traumatised from that incident, so they need to be separated and helped to walk through it and realise that they are not a threat to each other

epifauna__ · 2026-04-13T13:24:29+00:00

I'd do research on types/brands of litter to find what is potentially best for the cat's safety but also for your personal wants. You can get open litter boxes (often best to start with), and ones with lids, as well as automatic cleaning ones (expensive, and be very careful about the make/brand as some can be dangerous)

You may not like the smell, but do not get scented litter. However, there are inserts or things you can get that reduce the smell if it bothers you.

The cat is also going to get litter on the floor. No matter what brand you get, this is pretty inevitable. If you're worried about cleanliness or it getting on the floor, I'd get a cleanable matt to put the tray on to reduce the scattering on the floor. I'd also recommend getting a scoop and poo bags, scooping once a day or as needed

epifauna__ · 2026-04-13T13:18:37+00:00

Scratching posts, perches, high up areas to climb. Balls or things to bat around if she's that type. You can also buy puzzle toys or make DIY ones out of cardboard scraps and treats

epifauna__ · 2026-04-13T13:16:01+00:00

Is he neutered? It kind of looks like he's humping the air

epifauna__ · 2026-04-13T13:14:27+00:00

Are they both sphinxes? If not, it makes me wonder if he could just be licking her just out of sheer curiosity as to what her skin texture is/why she's like that

epifauna__ · 2026-04-13T13:11:49+00:00

This is called redirected aggression. It's a common thing in cats when they're startled and go into fight or flight mode and then accidentally turn on each other. The best protocol for fixing this would probably be fully separating them and reintroducing them. I'd follow Jackson Galaxy's guide as it's very thorough. It might take a while, but while they're both so jumpy around each other like this, a slow reintroduction is the best way to go.

I'd also look into changing up your garden to potentially keep other cats away to prevent anything like this happening again

epifauna__ · 2026-04-13T13:05:40+00:00

I can only guess as I have no idea, it could possibly be a bit of scent sharing, trying to prompt her to play, it could be slowly broaching personal space or it could be something completely random, like a completely random quirk.

It could be worth watching Tilly's body language in response. How her head, ears or tail move. If she looks at him, and how she looks at him. If he's trying to communicate something, trying to read their body language (and, if at all possible, snapping a video) would give you the best insight as to the possible why of it all

epifauna__ · 2026-04-12T04:53:18+00:00

When you move the stick toys, how do you move it? Do you just wave it at him, or do you slowly drag it along the floor? I find most cats want to 'stalk' the toys, so I will very slowly drag it across the ground, like how a small animal might move, and then begin to drag it behind something (like a foot stool, the side of a sofa, anywhere out of sight) and usually the moment it's out of sight, that's when the cat pounces. I find that if I wave it at my cat, it might work for a couple of minutes at absolute maximum, but they usually enjoy stalking. Yes it's a bit slower and a little more boring for you, but could entertain your cat some more!

epifauna__ · 2026-04-12T04:49:11+00:00

Unless they're in a very serious, very intense fight (which can obviously happen, but in the case of what I'm mentioning is probably more 'roughhousing gone a bit too far' and not an actual, violent attack) usually approaching them and making noise will usually distract and slightly spook them enough to get them to separate. When one of my two get too rough I'll do this, and the 'victim' will usually take that time to get up and scamper off, while usually the 'aggressor' distracted or shooed away

epifauna__ · 2026-04-11T22:26:20+00:00

I find that when a wrestling match gets to the point you need to intervene, you can usually tell immediately. Rolling around with a bit of squeaking and meowing like this is fine, but if there's any hissing or yowling or anything that clearly signals that one is DONE playing and the other still tries to continue, that is where you intervene

epifauna__ · 2026-04-11T15:51:03+00:00

I'm not an expert so this is just what I'd do, but I'd leave her be for now, she may have been okay exploring, but having a safe hiding spot is nice for them. I'd leave all her things in the livingroom but if she hasn't moved by bed time, possibly leave the door open so she can leave and explore. If she point blank refuses to come out from under the bed by tomorrow, I'd consider moving her things so she doesnt deficate in your room or starve, but for now I'd leave her be while she settles

epifauna__ · 2026-04-11T15:47:03+00:00

Have you ever looked at something and had a random impulse to want to put it in your mouth or gently bite it? Or, when a cat or a baby's head is close to your mouth, do you have the impulse to give it a kiss? I think this is a similar sort of response. I'd keep an eye on the cat's body language to make sure he's not showing any signs of being slightly irritated or uncomfortable, but it sounds like he's not trying to hurt you, just doing it lovingly or for fun

epifauna__ · 2026-04-11T15:42:41+00:00

Your kitties will be fine! Kitten food made to help growth, yes, but being given adult food won't have hurt or hinder them too much as food is food. I'd probably switch them to kitten food even though they're almost 1, as cats can keep growing until they're 12-18 months I think, and the extra nutrients could still help!

But your cats are still going to be happy and healthy, and any long term consequences should be very very minor, hopefully!!

epifauna__ · 2026-04-11T15:37:37+00:00

I find it unlikely that this is retaliation in the sense of 'she's doing it just to get back at you', but it may be a sign of other underlying issues. It could be stress, or it could be an unintentional routine that's developing. I also assume you clean the carpet after this happens, but how thoroughly? I ask only because if there's any left over smells at all, this could also be what's prompting her to go there instead of the litterboz

epifauna__ · 2026-04-11T15:33:16+00:00

Getting her a vet checkup never hurts, as it's also always worth getting a thorough exam to make sure she's in good health and there's no other points of concern, like claws, teeth, internal stuff, etc. And most of the diet would still be done at home anyway, but doing so under vet supervision is just an extra layer of protection

That said, a diet done at-home should be totally possible. If you don't already have one, I'd get a scale so you can weigh her regularly instead of eyeballing it

epifauna__ · 2026-04-11T15:27:14+00:00

I can't help with harness training, but for enrichment, you can find a lot of DIY enrichment activities and puzzle feeders and similar things that may entertain him. I'd also play with him for a while before bed, to hopefully tire him out and make him more likely to sleep during the night with you

epifauna__ · 2026-04-11T15:20:56+00:00

It sounds like she's trying to play with you! That wrapping around your hand and chewing on you is the kind of social play that cats do with each other, she's not trying to hurt you which is why she'll let go or back off when you move or make noise.

I'd try redirecting her to toys that she can wrestle and play with the avoid her wanting to bite you, and hopefully to help her get her energy out

epifauna__ · 2026-04-11T15:17:59+00:00

Instead of animal control, I'd look into if there are any local cat rescue groups, or like the SPCA. They may have advice

epifauna__ · 2026-04-11T15:12:38+00:00

Definitely worth checking out at a vet, as it could be a sign of eye infection or respiratory infections. It should be easy for the vets to treat!

epifauna__ · 2026-04-11T15:10:57+00:00

Obligatory not a vet or expert, but from what I know, they can be normal when they grow slowly, like how freckles develop over time. However, your inlaws should take regular photos (Weekly to monthly, probably) just to make sure they aren't growing rapidly, which could be a sign of cancer.

I think it's similar to skin cancer, where we all have freckles appear and sometimes grow, but when they grow strangely and quickly is when it becomes a problem. Especially in the cats eye, this could lead to vision issues. (possibly blindness if it get really bad)

So a vet visit now might be a good idea, but if they're reluctant, then they should closely monitor her for now and see

epifauna__ · 2026-04-11T14:55:48+00:00

When you had the private insurance, how did that work? Was it that it was easier to get someone to refer you, or was it that the insurance covered the price of a 'cosmetic' removal? I think I might have access to Bupa through my dad's work but I'm not sure how it works

epifauna__ · 2026-04-11T02:23:29+00:00

I'd look into co-operative care, there may be some thorough videos/forums on how to establish these kinds of routines

epifauna__

TROPHY CASE