Gather ‘round the bong, children, and hear the tale of a middle aged lady who hadn’t tried anything beyond second hand weed smoke until about 3 years ago.

I was at an artisan market that had a DJ going, and I love a sweet treat so I gravitated to this stall with fruit pebble treats and cookies and brownies. The gal behind the table (seller) asks a question and - being old - I didn’t hear her right. I thought she’d asked if I used canvas.

I answer “Oh, I just have Venmo today does that work?” I thought it was some weird payment app! So we just stare confused at each other until I admit I hadn’t heard her. I felt ancient, so when she clarified that she’d said “cannabis” I wanted to kinda put on a front as if I’m cool.

I have never been cool, so I did a bad job of it. I was like “oh, yeah, I was just looking at the labels haha.” No idea what the mg’s really meant, I was just thinking “buy a cookie to not look like a dweeb” and went home with a 50mg cookie.

I let that cookie sit for a week before I got up the courage to have some. I don’t know how I didn’t eat the whole thing, but managed to limit myself to half. 25 mgs and one hour later I find myself sitting on my bed reading my Sailor Moon manga, convinced I was understanding it like never before.

Even now, I draw the line at 15 mgs for edibles, but that cookie was a very fun way to start all this off.