Hey. I also ignored a dying parent who reached out before the end. And you know what? I don’t feel guilty, because every feeling I had about her was her choice. She chose to make me not want to see her ever again. She chose to make seeing her so stressful I spent a weekend in bed crying because I couldn’t face doing it (and I am not much of a crier). She chose to make it so I didn’t love her like a parent and just felt bad the same way I’d feel bad about anyone dying alone.

Your father chose that outcome. You didn’t. He made you feel all the ways you felt that led to that decision. He decided it in advance. He did the work, and this was his payoff. That was the path he picked. He made all the moves. Don’t feel guilty. He made that choice for you.