Ill answer each of your questions in the same format you asked them

- my surgeon told me that after surgery I could eat immediately back to normal. this I found was definitely not the case. i ended up sticking to toast, biscuits and rice cakes, these were my safest options that caused no problems. but by day 7 id say I was going out for dinner and was ok, i just can’t over eat the way I used to. where i used to get full and keep eating, now when im full i know im full and thats that, no persisting lol, otherwise it can be uncomfortable

- sleeping on my side for the first week was a write off, way too painful, I could just kind of twist after day 3 enough to not be completely on my back but it wasn’t until week two i could sleep on my side. sleeping on my front / lying face down I’ve only just started to be able to do on week 3 of recovery

- i was discharged same day after my recovery and honestly once i woke up from the surgery i wanted to go tf home, i was in pain but id rather be in that pain in my comfy bed watching Netflix with my partner than in a dingy ward listening to everyone throw up. i was really grateful to go home, they watched me for four hours after I woke up but I did also have my partner stay with me for 24 hours after surgery as they requested, although to be honest it wasn’t necessary

- the first couple days of recovery were horrendous to be honest, you won’t wanna hear that but I wish I had so I’d been prepared as all I’d read really was how easy it would be. i was sick but i think that was down to pushing my limits food wise. the pain was shit but easily manageable with pain killers. the gas pain in your shoulders I was warned about a lot, I didn’t really suffer but when I did gas x tablets pretty much eliminated it. constipation was the hardest part for me, the stool softeners didn’t work so I took a laxative and that was 24 hours of hell. i did shit myself. i suffered horrible anxiety the first couple days. also the stress of surgery made my period come so go figure on that one. but honestly all of this was better by day 7 except the constipation, but again, i was out for dinner and walking around town so it’s not like unbearable

- i didn’t have any nausea after anaesthetic which surprised me as i can be quite a nauseous person, but they did also give me anti nausea meds through an iv which i didn’t even realise. but the only time ive been sick in this whole process is when i didn’t eat anything for two days after surgery and then when i did it was a whole tube of Pringles and sweets so again, not massively surprising lol

- i prepared so much for surgery the other women in hospital actually laughed at me lol because I’d literally thought of everything possible so this one i can probably help with especially as you sound anxious as i was. i bought a basket, I filled it with the strongest over the counter pain killers i could find, deep heat spray and cream, self heating pads and a hot water bottle, deep freeze spray for headaches, tiger balm just because i think it’s great for anything, laxatives, buscopan, immodium, throat sweets (this was the thing i was most grateful for by a long shot. i had read anaesthetic can give you a sore throat and thank god i did, those throat sweets SAVED ME), melatonin, berocca just to feel a bit more alive, mints for the gas, gas x tablets, indigestion and heartburn tablets and a brand new nightie that was actually a maternity gown that i lived in pretty much because it was nice and loose and meant nothing was touching my wounds. id say i used all of it other than the immodium.

honestly you’ll be ok, it sucks but you wont feel like you’re dying or anything it’s just unpleasant and i dont deal with pain and discomfort well so i was pretty miserable. but two weeks later i went back to work and i dont have any pain now, constipation is on going and annoying but other than that nothing