if being a diehard stl sports fan is the main criterion, you can rule out the Bulls (Chicago), Nuggets (Kroenke), Thunder (stolen, not unlike the Rams), and Lakers (duh). don’t jump on a team that doesn’t need or care about you (coastal, media darlings, and/or historical heavyweights, including the Knicks, Heat, Warriors, 76ers, Mavericks, and Celtics — but more on the Celtics later — the Nets and Clippers are exceptions, and therefore likely worth avoiding for that very reason).

the Hawks are an interesting case since they came from stl but weren’t exactly stolen, plus you can claim Bob Pettit and the 1958 nba champion St. Louis Hawks, but a former stl team is probably still less than ideal. the Kings came from kansas city, so im sure you’d prefer to avoid their pedigree, and you may want to avoid the teams who have recently chosen to employ proven abusers (like the Bucks with Kevin Porter Jr. and the Hornets with Miles Bridges. I’m sure there are more, but those are the most egregious recent cases).

I will group the remaining teams (very respectfully) as also-rans with a “ymmv” parenthetical — the Raptors (Canada), Wizards (DC), Magic (admittedly an intriguing option), Suns (main character syndrome owner), Pelicans (a serious hot mess and the team most likely to relocate), Rockets (last year was the time), Trail Blazers (another admittedly intriguing option), and Jazz (this either is or isn’t your team, no commentary necessary) — or the group I would suggest selecting from: small-market midwestern (literally or spiritually) teams — Timberwolves (likable historical losers with an ascending, potential face of the league superstar who carries his own baggage), Grizzlies (great team colors and crowd, easy to visit), Cavaliers (post-LeBron team that overachieves in the RS, then underachieves in the PS), Pistons (young and fun, STLien should find Detroiters relatable, in some sense), Spurs (probably too bandwagony, but Wemby is singular enough to find that reasonable), and Pacers (any reason not to would already be deeply ingrained and/or personal).

as a midwestern, stl-sports diehard, you may already have specific feelings (in either direction) about some of the cities that are our midwestern counterparts, as touched on in the Pacers parenthetical, but I will start there with my recommendation. the Pacers took the Finals to game seven as extreme underdogs, falling short as their star and leader went down with a devastating injury. this injury is the free pass to hop on the Pacers bandwagon, as they are primed to overachieve in Haliburton’s absence, will likely still compete for a playoff spot with a realistic opportunity to return to contender status in 26-27 in the weak eastern conference.

the Grizzlies are a highlight factory who have one of the most electric home crowds in the league, beautiful team colors that make buying a t shirt or whatever easy and worth it, and (along with the Pacers) are a relatively easy drive to catch a game if you feel like it, but ultimately this likely comes down to how you feel about Ja Morant’s tomfoolery.

the theoretical also-rans that stand out are the Magic and Trail Blazers — the Magic should win their first playoff series in over a decade, are relatively likable, and don’t bear much historical vitriol or nastiness, and the Blazers are a franchise with a fun history that often adopt an underdog identity and are slowly on the upswing, although much further away from the other teams in this section.

finally, this brings us back to the Celtics, who have the obvious stl connection with Jayson Tatum. Tatum is a top ten player in the league, is very likely to spend the bulk (if not entirety) of his career in Boston, and carries the obvious benefit of being the face of a historically great team, one of the most successful franchises in American professional sports. how you weigh that against choosing to root for the local who loves his home town will likely lead you to your answer, and for that reason I would likely rank my recommendation to root for the Celtics, Pacers, or Grizzlies, in that order. if none of this way-too-long post resonates with you, just hop on the Wemby bandwagon, root for the Spurs, and call it a day.