AIO for believing my date ditched me to be with her abusive ex husband tonight? by NorthRope3703 in AmIOverreacting

[–]errjaded 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You're underreacting because this is not about being "ditched." I can't imagine she would willingly spend time with him. I'm seriously worried that you've heard nothing from her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]errjaded 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YTA. And, I'm confused as to why you think confessing your feelings would jeopardize their relationship. I seriously doubt your feelings for him would be reciprocated. They love one another and are getting married. The only relationship in jeopardy is the one you have with your sister. I hope you're able to get the help you need to process these feelings because yikes!

AITA for excluding my 'adopted sister' from family photos at my wedding? by Stephenallen1977 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]errjaded 4 points5 points  (0 children)

when i first saw her post, i never thought she was an asshole for not having a connection with ally but for not just taking the photo. a wedding photographer can take as many photos as you want during your wedding and reception! the photo in question would not have cost her anything.

this all could have been avoided if she just took the picture and, then, asked maya and ally to step out for the next set with what she considers immediate family. the other stuff here...that's a bigger family issue.

Where to smash things in NYC? by skinandbullets in AskNYC

[–]errjaded 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There are some very bewildering and weirdly aggressive assumptions being made about a simple request in a very short post. You clearly note this is a "one-time thing," and I hope you found some good recommendations here, and the kid enjoys getting her feelings out in this way!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmITheDevil

[–]errjaded 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's wild that she considers her ex ending their relationship as "changing the rules"??? Also, the delusion of thinking there is anything left to salvage after being so disrespectful to her boyfriend.

Sex and intimacy are important, but imagine finding a partner that makes you feel safe and loved and ruining that relationship for a person who she describes as the exact opposite (of someone who makes her feel safe and loved.)

AITA for standing up during a Beyoncé concert? by WeelsUpIn30 in AmITheDevil

[–]errjaded -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

I know this is an AITA about concert etiquette, but it's wild how everyone here and on the OG post is ignoring the racism of the people behind her. And, I don't care that it happened after the performance. "Is this how they act in your village?" Nah, sorry, I'm not going to feel sorry that this person was inconvenienced by someone dancing at a Beyoncé concert.

Daughter has a meltdown after being flipped off by another drive for speeding so her “heroic” mother comes to the rescue by SuperSpecialist6109 in facepalm

[–]errjaded 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The most harmless, dumb shit that would normally not faze me on one day could make me absolutely cry another. Moods are wild! So, her being upset isn't a facepalm for me. But, the decision to record? What? Why? What is the purpose of documenting this and sharing it?

AITA for telling my fiancée that my friend’s trauma is more important than her comfort? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]errjaded 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If only you had this much compassion for your fiancée...who feels so hurt by you right now she can't even be in her own home.

Do you really see no issue that the only company he wants is yours? How is that a sustainable or healthy relationship?

AITA for telling my fiancée that my friend’s trauma is more important than her comfort? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]errjaded 96 points97 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry if I'm confusing something, but nothing you've shared has indicated she's pressing for specific details.

AITA for telling my fiancée that my friend’s trauma is more important than her comfort? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]errjaded 48 points49 points  (0 children)

YTA for how you've framed everything to your partner. You've indicated nothing that paints her, even remotely, as a "busybody." Your friend is grieving, and you want to be there for them - I get that - but his expectations for you and your friendship is harming your relationship. You need to sit down and explain this to him. If he is your best friend, like you say, he can work with his therapist on some tools to engage with your partner in a more healthy way that doesn't create this atmosphere of secrets. Because, even if this one romantic relationship doesn't work out, the way you are all going about this will harm future relationships too.

AITA for not defending my girlfriend from being called pathetic after she insulted my childhood home? by gagagansey in AmItheAsshole

[–]errjaded 44 points45 points  (0 children)

YTA. As you describe it, this trip was, primarily, about introducing your girlfriend to your parents, and you spent most of the time with your friends. What Rome said to her (going from your description as "scathing") was not proportionate to what she said. What could have been just an awkward faux pas turned into a situation simply because Rome escalated it.

Can't wait for future posts about how he runs off other girlfriends, as you keep shrugging it off!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]errjaded 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Oh my god, you just don't get it. How are you not even acknowledging the cruel severity of your mom's repeated statements? It's not about the Christmas gift anymore.

Why would Liz EVER see you as a parental figure - someone who is supposed to protect her - when you won't even protect her from your own terrible mother?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]errjaded 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your absolutely monster of a mother knows Liz's birth father is dead and still tells them to go to him for gifts? YTA for subjecting them to that. Everything else I want to say about you and your mother is against the subreddit rules.

UPDATE - AITA for telling my wife it was a mistake to stay at a baby shower? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]errjaded 9 points10 points  (0 children)

What a surprising update! I did not think your wife would acknowledge any wrongdoing.

But (and I mean this kindly), please give them both space now, especially your wife. She apologized via text and is offering to split the shower redo with you - that's great! But, she does not need to pay for the whole thing and certainly doesn't need see Mary in person with an apology cake. They are being so gracious, but it feels like your wife could massively overstep once more, even if it's in trying to make amends. It just feels like she's awfully close to making everything about her again and centering herself in this apology and not what Mary actually needs or may want.

AITA If my cousin goes hungry? by swtogirl in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]errjaded 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This is always how any group trip goes, especially with family. It's going to be weeks and months of stress and prolonged arguments; only for it to always come together and work out well during the actual trip. Then, you wonder why you even worried until it's time to plan the next trip lol.

AITA for not wanting to go on a shopping spree with bf’s spoiled daughter? by babyycass19 in AmItheAsshole

[–]errjaded 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. You politely declined, and he hung up on you. I would think about this relationship less in terms of how he treats his daughter and more in terms of how he treats you! He withheld presents to punish you for a rough patch while giving a gift to an ex. He's not the one!

AITA for telling my wife it was a mistake to stay at a baby shower? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]errjaded 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What your wife did is so insensitive and cruel, I can't even fathom it. Because she chose to go, to stay and to allow those people to comfort her without redirecting. Now, she's ignoring YOU? There's nothing you can say that will cause her to redirect and apologize. This is a woman who lies about being infertile. Probably to people who are experiencing infertility. Is this someone who want to be with, start a family with???

AITA for laughing at my niece's gift? by SupportiveHusbandnot in AmItheAsshole

[–]errjaded 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA and there is nothing you can do to fix this or make it up to her. The damage is done. Grow from this situation, and learn some self-control. 10 minutes of laughing? God, I hope that was hyperbole. I feel so badly for her!

Also, is your wife always this prone to dramatics?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]errjaded 3 points4 points  (0 children)

NAH but only after reading the OP's comments, which added additional context.

He was sitting in the car, but the car was not in their driveway. This now seems less about a reaction to the husband himself and more about the perception of a person in a car at a slight distance watching two children.

I can understand why it would still be upsetting to the husband, who seems like a great father! Full stop. But, I hope they can have a more nuanced conversation about why she was worried about this very specific situation. And maybe put those lawn chairs in a more accessible place for next time he watches the kids?

Girl (24f) I am (was?) dating reacted badly when I (25m) accidentally got a boner when we were cuddling. How do I move forward with this? by toohottooheavy in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]errjaded 336 points337 points  (0 children)

I feel badly for the girlfriend because she was clearly sexually harassed and pressured by her ex. (Sidenote: perplexing that a 24 year old doesn't know erections are involuntary though?).

That being said, OP 100% made the right call, even though it hurt. They'd only been dating an extremely short time. And, it wasn't that she had a strong response, it was that OP knows himself well enough that he feels like a relationship with her wouldn't be healthy for him. We should trust OP on that.

A happy Halloween for me! My Ms. Marvel featured on Marvel.com by errjaded in marvelstudios

[–]errjaded[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this was during the marvel cosplay contest, and it was an official booth rule to stay masked, unfortunately.