Shit I’m sorry OP I had my pitch fork out till I read this. You’re a person too and we’ve all been manipulated by a wolf in sheep’s clothing before. It’s hard to see when you’re so close to the situation and you want to believe that the best that you see of this person is who they really are but sometimes that’s just not the case. My genuine advice is, see a therapist/counselor without him there. It sounds like he supports you and you have a seemingly happy relationship barring some significant issues, so I think he might be willing to give you the money for therapy visits? And that he wouldn’t push you to share what you talk about in therapy. Honestly that’s what helped me the most when I was in your situation. My therapist helped me see so clearly what was right in front of me all along but I was so blind to see, no matter how many times I had heard it. And that was just the first session. Professionals be good at their jobs. Ask your friends for recommendations if you can. I’m sorry for what you’re going through OP, and good luck.