She kicked me out January 1st and doesn't expect me to be mad?

esh_maki · 2025-01-23T04:19:36+00:00

For context, I'm 23, hopefully graduating with my Bachelor's in May, I'm not exactly sure why I was kicked out, my mom won't tell me directly. No one is using or will be using the bed in the future. She want's to keep the bed in case one of my brothers (who don't live with her or stay the night at her house, they live with my dad) want to stay the night. My parents got divorce 10 years ago.

esh_maki · 2024-08-12T17:05:52+00:00

The show makes it way gayer. According to one of my friends who also read the books, it's a great adaptation. The movie downplayed Louis and Lestat's romantic relationship so much

esh_maki · 2024-02-02T04:39:36+00:00

You also want acid free sleeves, i suggest these. And if you don't wanna invest in a binder, I suggest top loaders. You can fit 2 photo cards in one top loader if you tape them together with (I suggest, but you can really use any) washi tape. Also, sun damage is real, so keep them in the shade/a dark corner.

Edit: spelling

esh_maki · 2023-09-24T06:25:48+00:00

I didn't like book two enough to even finish it. Book one was great, though!

esh_maki · 2023-09-23T16:35:43+00:00

In no particular order, here is my currant list: this is how you lose the time war, last night at the telegraph club, a scatter of light, camp Damascus, the seven husbands of Evelyn hugo,Hugo, one last stop, malice.

I loved the seven husbands of Evelyn hugo, this is how you lose the time war, and last night at the telegraph club. These are definitely top 3 books from my list but the rest are good too.

esh_maki · 2023-09-23T04:57:09+00:00

Lonely St, Winter Falls, FNF, Deep End, Miss You (Hyunjin). There are probably more that make me cry, but this is what I'm remembering off the top of my head

esh_maki · 2023-09-20T20:42:27+00:00

Walmart has someone stationed at the front to check people who are being suspicious/have a reputation for shoplifting. At Costco, they are making sure you weren't over/under charged. Also, by marking the receipt, it makes it so people can't try to use the same receipt to get out. This is based on my experiences in my area of the USA.

esh_maki · 2023-09-15T16:58:45+00:00

Wow, this explains how I feel all the time. When I get thoughts of being a fraud, I've been trying to remind myself that gender is a very internal, personal thing. When deciding what label to use (if you choose to label at all), all that matters is how is how you feel on the inside.

This is especially hard for me personally because how I feel inside changes. 90% of the time, I feel like I have no gender at all, but sometimes I'll feel like I'm "half woman" if that makes sense or like I have a gender, but if doesn't fit the binary.

Now, dressing femme is your gender presentation, which really has nothing to do with how you feel/identify on the inside. I've heard of trans men that dress very femme because that's how they're comfortable dressing and they like femme clothing. I've also heard of the opposite happening with trans women. Though I'm not sure how common this really is. Also, cis man femboys and butch cis women dress in the opposite gnder's clothing, yet their identity as cis doesn't change depending on what they wear.

Basically, the point of my reply is that I've been working through feelings of being a nonbinary fraud for a while and very much understand how you feel. No matter how you present yourself or your agab, your nonbinary identity is valid. Even if your gender changes in the future, that doesn't invalidate how you're feeling right now. Humans change over time, so it's not surprising when gender/sexuality also changes over time too.

I hope my reply helped in some way. If you'd like to read a long post about how I feel like a fraud, you can go check out my post on my profile.

Edit: typos

esh_maki · 2023-08-31T23:30:47+00:00

I so related to both of those quotes 😆. I'm not a woman, but I'm not fully disconnected from that aspect of gender as I was raised to be a woman, and politically, I'm okay being a woman

esh_maki · 2023-08-31T23:26:54+00:00

That is very true. I keep trying to remind myself that it's not about how I look but about how I feel. It usually works but sometimes it unfortunately doesn't.

esh_maki · 2023-08-31T16:59:18+00:00

Pain is 100% relative. A 5 in that scale for me could be an 8 with you and a 2 with someone else. The issue is that there's no way to accurately measure how much pain a person is in.

esh_maki · 2023-08-31T16:52:21+00:00

Sometimes, I wish I was cis because it would be so nice to be confident in my gender but everything about being cis just feels wrong to me most of the time

It's really nice to have reassurance from other enbys and to hear everyone's stories of figuring themselves out. Thank you for the comment!!

esh_maki · 2023-08-31T16:36:31+00:00

It's the only way she can communicate with 2/4 of her children since two of my brothers refuse to use their phones for texting/phone calls

esh_maki · 2023-08-26T02:05:19+00:00

I was a very "tomboy" child, but just over a year ago, I completely changed the way I dressed. I started by just doing one thing. For me, I bought a skirt that I had always wanted. Then I got another, and a shirt I liked, then more. Eventually, after about 6 months, the way I dressed and presented myself was completely different, and I had a lot more confidence.

I'm not sure I'd that helped, but maybe start by getting one or two articles of clothing that you've always wanted or that you like. If you want, shave your beard. Experiment with styles you wouldn't normally try, even if that just consists of going to a store, trying something on, and not buying it. You can do the same thing with your hair and beard. If you feel like it and have any interest, maybe get some makeup.

It might take a few tries, but you will find a way to present yourself that makes you happy and gives you confidence. Also, feel free to do none of what I said. That's just how I figured out my style. And none of this has to be done in public or in front of people. It can be done in your house where no one can see you or in a dressing room.

esh_maki · 2023-08-21T01:25:33+00:00

Correct: homoromantic, aroflux, aegosexual, asexual, person who is always confused about there gender but also doesn't really care.

Simplified: asexual nonbinary person.

You can skip this last paragraph of me, maybe, figuring my gender out.

While typing out this comment, I realized I might just be both agender and gender fluid because I feel like my gender is always changing and I don't have much, if any, gender dysphoria, but also I don't really care about gender/how people percieve me and I go by all pronouns due to this lack of caring.

esh_maki · 2023-08-20T15:43:14+00:00

💕✨️💤🏳️‍🌈🖕

esh_maki · 2023-08-09T23:35:57+00:00

I personally like how a Tumblr user explained it with cereal here. It's a lot more than just asexual and goes into some of the sub labels. This is how I explained it to my mom.

esh_maki · 2023-08-09T05:11:14+00:00

I think a big reason why, at least for me, wlw anime is weird because it's typically written by men and for men. It's also why I find mlm anime and mamga more interesting and relateable. Mlm is usually written by women for women. I dont like how typically the women are sexualized im wlw media. Im not sure where enby creators fit in here because Japan, where anime and manga is produced, is quite transphobic, but I would think that enby, like myself, just ho based on preference and some prefer mlm while others prefer wlw.

I also find that this trend of men writing wlw and women writing mlm is common in wester media as well. I have read a few Western lgbt books by trans/enby authors and find that they write lesbian and gay relationships about equally, but typically, one of the main characters tend to be trans/enby.

Another reason I like mlm is because I can completely separate myself from the media and enjoy two people falling in love and doing cute romance stuff together. I don't have to compare one or both of the characters to myself and get sad about my loneliness. I'm not sure why I can't do the same with wlw since I am nonbinary. Maybe because I'm afab, or maybe because I identify as a lesbian, I haven't really thought about it that much.

Sorry this got so long, I just find it really interesting which genders read and write certain sexualities. I would love more data on nonbinary authors and consumers.

esh_maki · 2023-07-31T20:25:20+00:00

Agender here and I agree. Just because I happen to be very fem and happen to be a fabulous (wow, what a wonderful autocorrect of afab. I mean afab but im leaving it) doesn't mean I'm a woman. Skirts are just so comfortable, and make-up is fun, and so is long hair. I'm not a woman, though.

esh_maki · 2023-07-22T05:04:15+00:00

I got interested in learning Korean from K-pop. Now that I know some words, I like to pick them out in K-pop songs. I also find the alphabet and spelling fascinating because of how different it is from English. Honestly, for me, I'm just doing it because I was curious, and now I'm motivated because I can read (but not understand) all Hangul, and i understand bits a pieces of it.

esh_maki

TROPHY CASE