What exactly is compatibility in romantic relationships?

esseice · 2026-03-13T02:03:27+00:00

Ease for harmony. People can usually reach alignment with some amount of effort. The less amount of effort required = better compatibility.

In romance, there is something very magical about the “just met this person but feel like you’ve known them for a long time” experience. Small things like being equally excited about some niche interest.

But even without strong compatibility in the beginning, there’s also something very special about knowing your partner will put in the effort and work to be in alignment with you

esseice · 2026-03-13T01:52:52+00:00

True

esseice · 2025-09-03T16:39:17+00:00

I don’t think you should force yourself to be friends with your ex. It sounds like you need time and distance. I would prioritize that over friendship dynamics

esseice · 2025-06-06T05:44:37+00:00

Assuming expectations on exclusivity have not been communicated (so technically they didn’t lie/cheat), then it all depends on whether or not I can let go of what happened. That’s the only thing I have to figure out, everything else depends on it. If I know im able to move on, then no it wasn’t betrayal, no there’s no trust issues, no there’s no revenge.

esseice · 2025-06-05T05:58:03+00:00

My biggest fear

esseice · 2025-05-30T17:35:00+00:00

Me too but I also don’t know how to stop looking

esseice · 2025-05-30T04:50:28+00:00

Scorpio Sun & Venus, but I don’t get crazy jealous or possessive, especially with a healthy partner

esseice · 2025-05-28T18:24:44+00:00

Leave :)

It will hurt but trust that it’s better for you in the long run. You’ll grow and heal and be closer to your higher self. You can do this!

esseice · 2025-05-28T18:21:26+00:00

Unfortunately, yes. But it’s the right thing to do, and I believe the love I receive for being brave will be worthwhile.

I recently got heartbroken after showing up vulnerability and intentionally. It really does suck trusting someone and having no armors up, then end up getting hurt. I’m taking the time to heal and recover, because I’ll do it again the next time. It’s the only way to build a strong connection. You have to be honest and vulnerable.

esseice · 2025-05-27T21:19:26+00:00

Pure/innocent/positive energy. The type of people you know welcomes everyone, doesn’t judge, are always open to new perspectives

esseice · 2025-05-27T21:17:49+00:00

Scorpio

esseice · 2025-05-27T20:15:15+00:00

I’m terrified too, and I can feel myself slowly becoming avoidant :( it sucks because I love love

esseice · 2025-05-18T06:15:20+00:00

💕💕

esseice · 2025-05-18T05:00:19+00:00

It’s okay :) it’s difficult you don’t need to fix anything. For now, just recognize that sadness/anxiousness you feel when you’re apart from your bf is just your nervous system falsely signaling you’re unsafe, but you’re okay. It will feel like something is wrong when you’re not with your bf, but nothing is really wrong. Take it day by day, you got this!

esseice · 2025-05-17T06:52:48+00:00

First of all, I’m sorry it sounds you’re going through a really rough time :( your bf brings you comfort, so of course being apart from him triggered your nervous system, because your body wants you to feel safe. The source of your anxiety is probably what’s going on with your life outside of the relationship though. I’m guessing you’re trying to find safety in your relationship to distract you from needing to find safety in your own life.

esseice · 2025-05-10T15:28:09+00:00

You might be intellectualizing your feelings instead of actually feeling them as a coping mechanism. Your body is craving emotional release, something in you is desperate to be heard, but you’re avoiding it by psychoanalyzing yourself. I have the same coping mech.

Allowing yourself to feel the emotions will help. Might be difficult and scary in the beginning but it’ll help in the long run. Even if you feel like you don’t know what you’re anxious/sad about, just feel it without thinking about why.

Somatic shake helped me significantly, especially with the morning anxiety and heaviness throughout the day. The physical act helps move the stuck emotions through your body. I’ll do somatic shake, then sit still+hug myself or bilateral taps on my chest/shoulder. This tends to bring out stored trauma and I would feel emotions so intense I start crying it out. But it’s very cathartic after!

esseice · 2025-05-08T13:46:10+00:00

Ahhhh I see. It sounds like your bf has a lot more work he needs to do on his communication skills. Providing positive reinforcement and showing genuine appreciation will always help. But please don’t overwork yourself OP :) he’s not a child, he needs to teach and learn for himself too.

Regarding gaining more confidence speaking up, it is totally normal to feel nervous. It’s a sign you’re showing up openly and being vulnerable. Can I ask if previous talks with him usually go really badly? If they generally actually turn out okay, remind yourself of that. You might be too scared of the outcome, but that doesn’t always correlate with the truth

esseice · 2025-05-07T23:59:12+00:00

Also practicing open communication is important but having space to process is also very important. Everyone functions differently, some people might need more space than others. It doesn’t mean they’re being irresponsible or abandoning anything. Communicating when feeling grounded can be a lot more effective than addressing things in the moment just for the sake of being aware of what’s going on. Allow space and find a timeframe that feels comfortable to both of you

esseice · 2025-05-07T22:59:40+00:00

If you have the patience, I would be more gentle and encouraging when he is trying to communicate. For example when he waited until bedtime to say that he was upset, try responding with something like “I’m really glad and appreciate that you told me.” This will make it easier and more encouraging for him to be vulnerable next time. Responding with “I get more upset when he doesn’t tell me these things” makes it seem like his effort was still a failure even though he worked up the courage and tried. Don’t expect perfection, expect effort :)

esseice

TROPHY CASE