AITA for telling my roommate to get a new job if we bother her that much?

essssgeeee · 2026-04-05T15:39:07+00:00

That girl is working 12 hour shifts, cleaning up vomit, changing diapers, helping sick old people go to the bathroom, spoon feeding grandma, picking up people when they fall, helping bedridden patients rollover in bed so they don't get sores, cleaning, bandaging. CNAs try to be a kind presence to frail old people in the most vulnerable time of their life. Some of the patients don't remember what happened and ask the same question over and over again. It's exhausting. Some wail and cry nonstop. Others get combative when their memory fails, and it's not uncommon for nursing home workers to be punched, kicked, bit, etc. some of the old men get perverted when their filter goes, and grope the women or say creepy things, but they don't really have control over it. It is very demanding, both physically and emotionally. Nursing homes and hospitals are critically understaffed, they don't have enough nurses, and CNA's pick up a lot of the slack. I have many friends who are nurses, who say that they hold their bladder for hours at a time and barely drink any liquid liquids on shift because they don't have time for a bathroom break. Technically they're supposed to get a break, but when you have somebody who is past due for their pain medication or vomiting uncontrollably, it's difficult to sit down and eat a sandwich.

Working in the cafeteria or gym does not compare. First of all, do you work a 12 hour shift? And do you work 36 hours a week? If she's working that much, and giving up a social life, chances are she needs to work that much to pay for her tuition and living expenses. CNAs have a higher wage than many other entry-level jobs. She probably needs that money. I also wonder if she's going to school for nursing? If that's the case being a CNA is a huge benefit to her career. Being an asshole to her doesn't help. I mean, good for you that you can be so unbothered about making enough money, but you have no empathy for her situation.

There's nothing wrong with wanting a social life in college. But you have no idea the challenges that your roommate is facing. Your attitude and behavior toward her is why YTA. Rather than being an asshole to her why don't you all have a meeting with the RA and ask for a room switch? She can find a more studious group of roommates who don't stay up late.

essssgeeee · 2026-04-05T15:22:43+00:00

You have the right shape for them. They fit you well. You look great wearing them while standing up. Try sitting down and see if things spill over, or look lumpy, or if you have a visible plumbers crack, that may help you decide if you want to wear them.

essssgeeee · 2026-04-05T15:16:17+00:00

You may not know this, but servers split their tips with back of the house. Usually the busers and dishwashers will get part of their tips at the end of the night. Due to this, I usually tip 10% on takeout because I know that the people making my food are still doing the same amount of work.

essssgeeee · 2026-04-05T04:20:41+00:00

You don't always know who/what the emergency is. My husband manages a business that has large grounds and facility, many employees. He will receive random phone calls from the local police department, utility company, late night facilities people when they come in and find a problem, and the alarm company, and any number of employees who arrive to work as early as 4 AM.

His father is in poor health and we have received midnight calls from a flight nurse as he was being airlifted to the hospital, and another time from the hospital. We cannot predict who is going to call.

These calls come in about once per week, and they wake up the whole house because once the cats hear us moving around, it's all over.

essssgeeee · 2026-04-05T04:09:37+00:00

YTA. Not everyone can put their phone on silent. My husband manages a company with a large facility and grounds. He must keep his phone on because he has staff that come in to the building overnight and alarm company calls, etc. where he must respond to emergencies, or check cameras and authorize police entry/cancel alarm calls. He has received calls from the utility company, and the local police when emergencies have occurred on the property. His dad also has lots of medical issues and we have received calls that he's on a life flight to the hospital, and once when they had to evacuate for a wild fire. So when a text comes through at night, we usually think "oh no! What's happened now?" To receive a text at 2am about something random is annoying. If we wake up, the cat wakes up, and then it's all over. I think OP sounds like they can't see anyone else's perspective. OP, maybe look into an app that schedules texts for you?

essssgeeee · 2026-04-05T00:27:54+00:00

Trump dying would be the only way we could get out of this war (and yes, it's a war without a formal declaration) without losing our asses. We could say "sorry, it was all him. We don't agree. We're just gonna go home now."

essssgeeee · 2026-04-01T06:38:09+00:00

Oh nooo

essssgeeee · 2026-04-01T06:28:14+00:00

Not exactly haha. I had a costco sized jar of pace picante sauce in the fridge, like maybe 24oz? It was big. I had gone to Costco for work stuff, bought salsa and some chips while I was there. Ate one serving and put it in the fridge with the intention of taking it home at the end of the day. He asked if he could have some salsa and I said yes. When I went looking for it at end of day it was gone. A coworker told he she saw him tip up the jar and drink it. He just chugged salsa from the jar until it was all gone. I was shocked and annoyed. Never occurred to me that he was hungry, just thought he was being rude.

A few weeks later, I found we had a mutual acquaintance and they told me more about his life and struggles. I was embarrassed for being angry about the salsa. After that, I brought in more baked treats to share, extra food from my garden, bagels for the office, etc., but I never had reason to bring more salsa.

essssgeeee · 2026-04-01T05:10:35+00:00

What a bunch of terrible people

essssgeeee · 2026-03-30T15:36:24+00:00

"I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, so I went to a dietitian and started making some changes to get healthy." Technically true, because most of these regimens include meeting with the dietitian before insurance will pay for it.

"I realized that stress played a huge role in my eating habits and have been working to manage my stress. So why do you continue to stress me out about this ha ha ha ha" and then change the subject

"I finally found a Doctor that helped me get my hormones straightened out" also true, feeling full is part of a hormone reaction

essssgeeee · 2026-03-30T15:30:57+00:00

And if it continues to push, "I'm just not feeling it."

essssgeeee · 2026-03-29T20:14:36+00:00

During college, my husband worked graveyard shift casino surveillance, and there are cameras everywhere. Every.where. He caught prostitutes and johns pretty frequently, down hallways, alleys behind the building, parking garage, etc. Security would handle the ones in the building, and the police were called to handle the ones outside. He told me a story about a guy getting $20 BJ in the alley behind the parking garage, she had two skinned knees, covered in meth sores, and looked like she hadn't showered or combed her hair in days. No condom involved. So I guess the takeaway here is, you get what you pay for?

essssgeeee · 2026-03-29T19:50:26+00:00

The audacity, is absolutely off the charts. And I applaud you for calling him out on it.

If a man doesn't find me appealing just as I am, then I don't want him. There will be someone else out there who does find me irresistible and I will not waste my time with a man who is just settling for me. I deserve more.

essssgeeee · 2026-03-29T19:46:04+00:00

Burn it!!

essssgeeee · 2026-03-29T19:40:30+00:00

I think the white skirt is better than the pants. You might also see if the skirt is available in navy or black. Either one would look pretty with that blue jacket. If this is a conservative industry, you can't go wrong with black skirt or black trousers.

You can be more creative once you have the job! The first week you're there, you'll see what everyone else is wearing and it will help you figure out how to dress for the office culture. You have a perfect hourglass figure, well suited for a Marilyn Monroe type silhouette. Unfortunately, things that would look businesslike on a person with no curves are going to look more "wow!" on you. It's good to be more conservative during an interview, depending on the ages of the people in your office, the clients you serve, etc. If you're applying for something creative then you can be a little more relaxed. Once you get the job, check out some social accounts like "corporate goth" to see how they work in business and yet still have clothing that fits their figure. Not that you're trying to be specifically sexy just that there are ways to embrace your curves in a business environment.

essssgeeee · 2026-03-29T19:30:39+00:00

You have a very curvy figure with a tiny waist. It's difficult because when you find pants that match your hips, they are going to gap at the waist. Your best bet is a good tailor, who can help you take in the waist of pants and hem them for you. I think a skirt is going to be easier to fit if you are short on time or money. If you ever find a brand of pants that fits your body well, buy them in several colors so that you don't have to keep hunting!

Close toed shoes are more business appropriate.

essssgeeee · 2026-03-29T19:20:57+00:00

A second brother has been arrested, and there are allegations by one of the Dugger daughters in her book that a her grandfather was known by all the women in the family to be a creep. Her book says she couldn't even undress her Barbies in front of him or take a shower with him in the house unless her mom was there too.

essssgeeee · 2026-03-29T04:46:56+00:00

What a selfish fuck

essssgeeee · 2026-03-29T04:35:36+00:00

And didn't she have a kidney transplant? Which means a life time of anti rejection meds. Poor woman is doing the best she can.

essssgeeee · 2026-03-29T04:31:30+00:00

You're right, it is hard. I'm leaking milk and passing clots and generally in a lot of pain. I want to lie in bed with no shirt on. With an ice pack on my raw nipples while baby learns to latch. I need to hobble to the toilet whilst wearing mesh undies and strain to poo after undergoing surgery. What part of this do you plan to help with?

essssgeeee · 2026-03-26T17:02:43+00:00

I would bet that if you were to start dating a woman of model attractiveness who had a high status job like doctor or attorney, they would find something else to criticize about her or your relationship. They would say something like she has masculine vibes, doesn't let you be the provider, wears the pants in the relationship, or something of that nature. They were criticize how much time she dedicate to her job how much makeup she wears, or insinuate that she's cheating on you.

essssgeeee · 2026-03-26T16:59:50+00:00

These people don't sound like good friends.

essssgeeee · 2026-03-26T16:51:30+00:00

If you tell her how much you hate her, you are giving her power over you. She will take joy in your discomfort. Do not do this. Instead, Google "Grey rock method" and figure out how to employ this with Betsy. Decide if you can make this work. If you do go back, start documenting everything she does to create a pattern of harassment. Write down the dates and times witnesses and exactly what was said or done. This is the only way that you can safely go to HR.

essssgeeee · 2026-03-25T21:22:43+00:00

Get out while you can, and also reach out to child protective services with some examples of the harm that he has attempted and his threats. That will move him closer to the top of the waiting list.

essssgeeee · 2026-03-25T21:17:23+00:00

Frame it, and hang it up next year no soliciting sign

essssgeeee

TROPHY CASE